You know what’s weird? I’ve got this thing with voyeurism games where I end up feeling like the real pervert is the one blocking my view, not me. This one’s a pillow fight strip thing with real models, and the core loop is basically whack a mole but with horny neighbors. The screen is split, you see two girls going at it with pillows, clothes flying off, and then some idiot’s head pops up from the bottom of the frame. Every time. I’m trying to watch a bra strap snap and this guy’s bald spot is taking up a third of the action.

The minigame is you’ve got a pillow cursor and you just click to smack these peeping toms away. It gets frantic. The lesbian fight in the background is on a timer, I think, because if you don’t clear the heads fast enough the striptease just stalls. The girls will be mid swing, a titty literally hanging out, and then they just freeze like a buffering video. That’s the real punishment. Not losing points, but the blue balls of a paused jiggle. The models are decent, the kind you’d find on a site that still uses Flash intros, but the whole thing has this deliberately cheap energy. Like it was filmed on a camcorder from 2005 and then compressed with a potato.

I wish the hits felt more impactful. Sometimes you click a head and it just vanishes with no reaction, no yelp, nothing. Just gone. A little “oof” sound would’ve done wonders. The pillow physics on the girls are nonexistent, it’s more like they’re waving fabric near each other. But then one of them will lose her top and the whole thing becomes a frantic clickfest to keep the view clear. It’s stupid. It’s completely stupid. I kept replaying the third level because the brunette has this smirk when she’s about to lose her shorts and I needed to see the whole sequence without some pixelated face ruining it. The neighbors are basically the real villains of any adult game, aren’t they? Like the ghost in Pac Man but for boners.