The physics are absolute garbage. Like, genuinely terrible. The cue ball slides around like it's on ice and sometimes just stops dead for no reason. Spent way too long trying to figure out if my mouse was broken or if the game just hates me. It's the game. The game hates everyone.

But here's the thing about Strip Poker Pool or whatever it's called. You're not here for the pool. The pool is just the excuse. Twenty balls on the table, each one's got a playing card printed on it, and the first five you touch with the cue ball become your poker hand. The balls change color when you hit them so you can track which ones are yours, which is actually clever because I kept forgetting what I'd already pocketed. Not that you pocket anything. They just sit there. The whole thing is about building a better poker combination than the AI opponent. If you win, the real model on screen starts losing clothes. If you lose, you go down a level and she puts something back on I guess? Never lost enough to find out because the AI is somehow worse at pool than I am, and I'm terrible.

The stripping is fine. It's what you'd expect. Lesbian stuff, which is a choice. The models look like they were photographed in someone's basement with a digital camera from 2006, but honestly that adds something. Feels seedier. More honest. Not trying to be some slick production. Just a woman taking her top off because you managed to get a pair of jacks.

Wish the poker part mattered more. You don't really make decisions about which balls to hit based on cards, you just try not to scratch and hope for the best. The strategy is basically nonexistent. But I kept playing anyway. Something about the janky physics and the low-rent presentation makes it weirdly compelling. Or maybe I just wanted to see what happened after the third win.