Right, the physics in this billiard game are completely fucked. Not broken in a glitchy way, more like the balls are made of wet soap and the table is a non-stick pan. You don't use a cue, you just drag and fling these glossy orbs with your finger, hoping one grazes another and something, anything, happens. Spent a solid minute just watching a red ball spiral in a corner like it was trying to escape its own existence.

The whole setup is you're playing against these "real models" who are apparently lesbians and very bad at pool. Or very good at losing on purpose. The video cutscenes are what you're here for, obviously. The camera work is like a student film project where the director just discovered zoom. It's shaky, it's horny, it lingers. One moment you're lining up a shot, the next you're watching a striptease that starts with a girl unbuttoning a top with the same level of dramatic tension as a hostage negotiation. The acting is... well, they're not here for the dialogue. One girl kept looking just off-camera, maybe at a cue card that just said "look sexy," and honestly, respect.

What gets me is the audio. There's this stock jazz track looping that sounds like it's being played in an empty hotel lobby. And the ball sounds. They don't clack, they kinda... thud. Like dropping a fruit onto a carpet. It's such a bizarre detail to get hung up on, but here I am. The whole thing feels like it was filmed on an old phone in a basement that someone tried to convince you is a luxury suite. The lighting is that specific shade of yellow that makes everyone look like they have a mild liver condition. I wish there was a skip button for the actual game part, but there won't be. You just have to suffer through the weirdly hypnotic bad physics to get to the next unlock. It's like a gacha game where the currency is your own patience.