The worst thing about Re:Witch isn’t the janky translation where sentences sometimes just give up on grammar. It’s that the sandbox loop feels like it’s fighting me. You do chores. You fish. You try not to starve while the big purple haired witch, Ayumi, is stuck with her own problem, her stupidly massive futa cock is a constant, leaking inconvenience and the whole damn village is apparently ready to kill witches, which is awkward since you’re one. The art? It’s these wonky but weirdly specific 2D drawings. That monster girl in the forest, the one with the fat ass and the vines, she’s got this one handjob scene that’s just framed so wrong. Her arm clips through her own torso but somehow the grossness makes it hotter. I wish there was more of her. I wish the map wasn’t so useless.

You corrupt a virgin by accident because you were trying to tease a slime for mana, and suddenly it’s a full harem route with a MILF witch who teaches you how to turn your futa curse into domination. The female domination thing is not a choice, it’s just what Ayumi does. She’ll masturbate in a bush while a guard searches for her, and the sexual harassment is basically her flirting via monstrous appendage. I spent a whole cycle just trying to romance a specific character, got a cute little story beat where she admits she’s a lesbian but terrified of the corruption magic, and then immediately got killed by a bear. The game didn’t even apologize. It just booted me to the menu. That survival tag is not a joke. You’re horny, you’re terrified, and you’re out of bread. I don’t know what the endgame is because my save file corrupted, which feels like the real witch’s curse. The virgin ghost in the cave has a really nice line about snow, though. I think about that sometimes.