Robin in this version feels like she escaped from some old hentai forum signature and got thrown into a rage game by accident. She is this skinny brunette thief girl with her tits basically bouncing out while she sprints through a level that looks like someone lost a bet in Flash. First thing I did was try to jump a tiny gap and she just slipped like she was made of soap and lube, right into a fireball that came out of nowhere and roasted her naked pixel ass. Then the death screen just spits you back instantly, no time to breathe, like “yeah, try again idiot.” That actually made it lowkey addictive, even when I was swearing at my monitor in two languages. The controls feel like they were made while drunk: you tap jump, she goes half a centimeter; hold it a bit too long, she flies like she’s on the moon and lands face first into some tentacle thing that grabs her legs and pins her down. And of course, the tentacles don’t just hurt her. They spread her, slide under her clothes, pull her panties aside like tissue paper, and then it’s full-on slimey hentai bullshit, her moaning while you’re thinking “yeah ok this is hot but also I just wanted that chest on the ledge.”

What I like is how the game pretends to be some tough old-school arcade thing, but we all know the real reward is when you fuck up. You miss a platform, land in the wrong pit, and suddenly Robin is bent over, hands scraping against stone, while some monster sprouts three wriggling cocks from nowhere and stuffs every hole it can find. She blushes, bites her lip, trying to crawl away while its tentacles hold her hips in place and pump her like a broken faucet. It is not subtle at all, it’s almost rude. At one point I got stuck in this shitty narrow corridor with awful hit detection and a low ceiling. Took me like 15 tries to make this tiny jump over one slow fireball. Every time I mis-timed it, Robin was on the ground, clothes ripped more each time, nipples out, this goo dripping from between her thighs while something with too many limbs slammed into her over and over. And yeah, I complained the whole time about the physics, like “who coded this jump, a raccoon with a head injury,” but I still kept pressing restart. Reminded me of those cheap mobile porn games on Nutaku that pretend to be hard just so you see the punishment scenes, except here it’s more raw, more “fuck it, I uploaded my old project, deal with it.” The graphics are bland but because of that, when there’s full nudity, it somehow hits harder. No filters, no fancy lighting, just tits out and fluids everywhere. I opened it in a tab on Chrome, forgot about it, then came back after scrolling Twitter trends and suddenly Robin is kneeling, covered in white mess from her chest down to her belly, eyes rolled up, while another monster lines up behind her. I laughed, got annoyed at one stupid moving platform, came twice, then shut the tab without even reaching the end. No idea if there is a real “finish” to the game. Honestly, I kinda hope there isn’t.