Feels like some cursed flash game I found in a dirty corner of Newgrounds long time ago, just this one actually knows what it wants: you’re the damn tentacle beast and Samus is the snack. No story walls, no fake morality, just straight to hunting the blonde bounty hunter through this little arena where everything is about timing and greed. First thing that surprised me: it’s basically a mini tug-of-war of “who fucks up first”, and usually it’s you. You smack her with a tentacle, strip a piece, think you’re a genius, then suddenly she blasts one of your “important” limbs because you picked the wrong one to shield and you’re sitting there like an idiot, naked in all the wrong ways. It’s stupidly simple, and also I sat staring at the screen for like ten rounds whispering “don’t dodge, don’t dodge” every time I pressed attack. And of course she dodged. Half the fun is in that tiny delay where you already clicked and can’t take it back and watch your bad decision happen in slow motion. Felt like old browser games where you learned the rules by getting punished, again and again, but this time the punishment is just “no tits for you yet”. Cruel but fair. Actually not fair, but still.

The whole stripping rhythm hits that teenage nostalgia in my head. Piece by piece you peel that iconic armor off her, and even if I already saw a thousand porn mods of her on Reddit, this one still got me because you have to earn every bit of skin. Helmet off. Shoulders gone. Chest plate cracked open. Her suit feels heavier each round, you kind of hear the old Metroid sounds in your brain while you watch her get more and more exposed. At the same time she’s not helpless at all, she’s this pissed-off anime blonde, eyes sharp, like she knows she’s in a hentai game and hates you for it, and that makes it hotter. I liked that you can’t just spam attack like a monkey. You attack, then have to choose which tentacle will block her shot. Pick wrong, she melts that limb and your whole plan dies. It’s a simple “click here, then here” loop, but once you’re close to stripping everything, your brain starts overthinking every click. My Chrome history looks shameful, my mouse hand sweaty, my other hand also busy, and somehow I still cared about not losing because defeat sends you back to the start with all the clothes on again and that actually hurts more than any bad ending. The final sex scenes you unlock are filthy in a very direct, old-school hentai way: full-on tentacle wrapping, her body twisted and pinned, face going from pissed to overwhelmed, suit just a memory, skin shining like some artist spent too many nights pausing original Metroid art for “research”. It’s rough, it’s not subtle at all, and I loved it, even though I’m absolutely going to pretend I didn’t bookmark it.