A flickbook with a pulse. That's the generous read. Three scenes, just hanging there on the main screen like browser tabs you forgot to close. Click the D.Va block, get a titjob. Click another, hand stuff. The last one, the doggy. It loops. It just loops. The animation is like someone described motion to a robot that only half understood, a kind of stuttery glide that's almost hypnotic in its wrongness. The Seekers tag makes me think of the wrong game entirely, some other parody, but here it's just D.Va's mech doing nothing in the background, a static grey lump.

The titfuck scene has her on her knees and the physics are a war crime. Her chest moves like two water balloons filled with cement, a sort of determined, graceless heave. The sound is wet slaps that don't sync up, like a broken metronome. I found myself staring at her face, that blank hentai stare, and wondering if she's supposed to be into it or if the model just broke. The handjob is somehow more frantic, a blur of pixels that made me think my graphics card was artifacting. I reloaded the page. Nope, that's just the game. The cumshot is a single, decisive splat that appears and then stays, a permanent marker of your choices. You can't unsee it. You have to refresh the whole tab to clean the slate, which feels weirdly judgemental.

It's a parody, sure, but of what? Overwatch? Desire itself? The whole thing runs in browser, no fuss, and I played it on my phone while waiting for a download. The screen was too small. D.Va's head was cut off during the boobjob. I didn't scroll down. I just watched her torso do its thing and felt a strange, hollow nostalgia for those old Flash games that got taken down. This one will probably stay up forever.