Kitty McSlut is exactly the kind of trashy cartoon porn game I pretend not to like and then end up losing whole evenings to. It feels like somebody took that secret crush on Kitty Katswell from TV, cranked every knob to “degenerate”, and then forgot to hire an editor. You start off thinking it’s just some dumb little clicker thing with a horny cat spy, and somehow you’re suddenly trying to min-max her “sluttiness” like it’s a serious RPG stat. The first time I got her to agree to that “private undercover interrogation” with the mob boss, I honestly laughed out loud, because the dialogue is this weird mix of bad puns and really filthy lines that sound like a horny 18-year-old wrote them in the notes app. And it kind of works. One second you’re picking a cute outfit, next second she’s on her knees making a “deal” so your quest doesn’t fail. I was like, alright, this escalated fast.
The whole thing moves between silly parody spy missions and just straight-up porn scenes. You get some small “adventure” bits where she has to sneak around some shady lab, talk to suspects, pretend to be all professional secret agent, and then you hit the wrong choice and suddenly she’s caught, hands tied above her, tits pushed up, “interrogated” for information she totally has but pretends she doesn’t just to drag the scene out. There was this moment in the club level where I thought “ok, it’s just dancing for intel” and then the game throws a drunk bouncer at her who only lets her through if she “shows some gratitude” behind the bar. I kinda hated how quick she agreed, then realized her “lust” stat was so high because I kept picking the lewd dialogue earlier. My fault. Or victory. Depends on the mood. The art is that old-school anime porn style, thick outlines, huge boobs, stupidly tiny waist, everything super exaggerated. Sometimes her boobs look like they exist in a different gravity field and it annoyed me, but then in the next scene they jiggle in a way that just hits right and I forget to care. Also, half the jokes are really dumb, like “pussy patrol” level dumb, yet I still snorted at them. I wish I could say I’m proud of that.
What surprised me is how it actually feels like a little sim instead of just clicking “next” until the cumshot. You have to decide if Kitty plays the loyal agent, the greedy slut taking bribes in “special favors”, or this chaotic mix where she talks like a professional in one line and then begs for cock in the next. There’s this quest where she’s supposed to get incriminating pictures of a corrupt officer, and you can either blackmail him or join the photoshoot, and if you pick the naughty route it turns into this messy threesome in the office with his assistant barging in and somehow joining five seconds later. I was on the bus with my phone, brightness way too high, and I had to pretend I was just checking Instagram while Kitty was swallowing a “peace offering”. The pacing is all over the place, some scenes drag, some scenes end right when you’re really into it, and there’s this one repeatable blowjob event in the locker room I found completely by accident just by clicking the wrong arrow and I kept going back to it like some kind of ritual. The UI is clunky, one button sits a pixel off and it bothered me more than it should, and sometimes the English in the game is actually worse than mine, but it almost adds to the cursed charm. It’s like watching a dirty cartoon your friend drew in high school that somehow evolved into a full porn sim with quests and stats and way too many scenes where the cat spy ends up covered in everything except dignity.