The rabbit's got a dick. That's the first thing, right there on the screen, and the animation for the thrust is so janky it loops with this weird stutter that somehow makes it hotter. The whole thing looks like a lost Newgrounds flash from 2005, deliberately crusty pixels and all. You're this blue bunny, and the goal is to smack skeletons and medusa heads with a whip, classic Castlevania stuff, except when you miss a dodge, a wolfman doesn't just damage you. He bends you over a crumbling stone block. The sound effect for the lube squelch is way too loud. I had to alt-tab to check my volume mixer because I thought another tab was playing something.

The platforming is slippery as hell. The slide move, S plus down arrow, never comes out when you need it, especially in the clock tower section where the flying imps grab you from behind. Getting caught isn't a fail state, it's a transition. The scene shifts to a close-up, the rabbit's face goes from determined to that classic ahegao expression, tongue out, eyes rolling. The furry tag is no joke, the fur texture on his belly is detailed in a way the background bricks aren't. I found myself intentionally flubbing jumps just to see the badger boss's special attack. It's a blowjob scene but with this weird, aggressive pacing that feels more like a fighting game combo than a sex act.

Forgot to mention the sub-weapons. You press Space to cycle through them, holy water, an axe, but the axe throw animation is broken. It just floats there. I spent ten minutes trying to get the axe to hit a candle before realizing the real game is in getting hit. The parody elements are thin, a few remixed music chiptunes that cut out abruptly when a scene triggers. There's a moment in the library where a possessed book enemy doesn't attack, it just opens to a page with a crudely drawn knot. I don't know why that detail stuck with me. The whole thing is a mess of sharp teeth and floppy ears and I still don't know if there's an actual ending or if it just loops forever. The arcade action is just the appetizer for the defeat screens.