The weight of the inquiry settled like a rock in my gut. Big John. His name alone conjured pictures of harsh power, a force of nature with the ability of squashing anything in its path. Knowing he threatened my family - my mother, sister, and the fragile foster kids depending on me - made my blood run cold. Did I have the guts to confront this living nightmare? Everything stacked against me seemed insurmountable. Winning meant I’d have to be clever, fearless, and wrestle with a quiet panic lurking beneath the surface. The other option - watching us all become victims to his savage cruelty - was a nightmare I refused to accept. I knew deep down that standing still was the same as losing. Everything I loved was teetering on a knife’s blade. It wasn’t about if I’d fight, but how I’d navigate the chaos and keep my family alive.