The train compartment is way too clean. That’s what I kept thinking. You got this guy Danny, fresh off quitting his dildo-peddling gig, heading to LA with a guitar and a dream, and the train looks like it was sterilized by monks. Sydnee is there though, and she’s got these massive, soft looking tits practically spilling out of her top, so I guess I can forgive the unrealistic hygiene standards of public transport. The whole thing is a reaction game, which I didn’t fully grasp until I lost the first time because I was staring at her chest instead of clicking the stupid icon that popped up. Classic.

The humor is dumb in a way that got a genuine snort out of me. Danny’s internal monologue reads like a horny teenager who just discovered hair metal, and the situations escalate from “accidental brush of the hand” to “somehow she’s drunk and you’re playing a weird mini-game to keep her from falling over” in about thirty seconds. The drunk mechanic is where it gets messy, literally. You’re trying to balance this tipsy bombshell while also trying to get your hand up her skirt, and the timing is unforgiving. I failed that part like four times. The sound effects are just a loop of train tracks and a weird squelch when you succeed, which is… a choice. It made me laugh but also kind of took me out of it? I don’t know. The voice acting, if you can call the grunts and moans that, is hilariously over the top. Sydnee sounds less like a real woman and more like a parody of a porn star, which I think is the point.

There’s a moment where you have to choose between playing her a song on your guitar or offering her a drink. I picked the guitar, obviously, because I’m not a total animal. The game glitched for a second and the guitar just floated in mid-air while Danny’s hands did the animation. I couldn’t stop laughing. For an unpolished mess, it’s got a weird charm. The xxx adventure part delivers exactly what it promises, no more, no less. Just don’t expect the trip to make any logical sense. One minute you’re talking about LA, the next you’re balls deep because you successfully clicked a circle. That’s the game. That’s the whole game.