The whole thing feels like a drunken dare that got out of hand. You got Danny, this guy who quit his sex shop job to chase some rock star fantasy in LA, and the first thing that happens is he ends up in a train compartment with a woman named Sydnee. Her tits are massive, the kind of cartoonish big that makes you laugh and get hard at the same time. The art is rough, like someone sketched it on a napkin after one too many shots, but that’s the point. It’s a reaction game, so you’re just clicking through prompts, trying to keep her interested while the train rattles along.

I kept failing the minigames on purpose just to see what would happen. Sometimes she’d roll her eyes and go back to her phone, other times she’d lean in closer, her cleavage swallowing the screen. The humor is stupid in the best way. Danny’s dialogue options are so blunt they circle back to being charming. “Nice rack” is literally a choice. And she might laugh or slap you. The drunk tag is no joke, the whole thing wobbles like you’re both three beers deep, and the timing of the reactions gets sloppier the more you succeed. Or fail. I don’t know anymore.

There’s this one moment where you finally get her top off and the train hits a bump, and the animation just... glitches. Her boobs jittered for a solid five seconds. I should’ve been annoyed but I was too busy grinning. It’s a trip, not a polished XXX adventure. You’re not here for smooth loops or voice acting. You’re here to see a hot mess unfold, to prod at a fantasy that knows it’s a fantasy. The sex scene, when you get there, is a clumsy, frantic thing. Lots of jiggling, a weirdly long close up of Danny’s face looking confused. I don’t think he ever makes it to LA. I don’t think he cares. Sydnee’s final line is something about missing her stop. Perfect.

Rebecca's tits are the first thing you notice. Not because they're particularly well drawn, they're just... there. Huge, blonde, drunk off her ass on the couch. The whole setup is so bare bones it's almost charming, like someone sketched a fantasy on a napkin and decided that was enough. She fumbles with a vibrator, watches some pixelated porn on her phone, passes out. Then the thief shows up. No mask, no tension, just a guy with a dick the size of her forearm.

The game doesn't pretend to be anything else. You click, she moans, the animation loops. Her body jiggles in that weird uncanny way where the physics engine is trying its best but her tits move like water balloons filled with pudding. I spent way too long on the first scene just watching her breathe. There's something almost tender about it, which is insane to say about a game where a stranger fucks an unconscious woman. But the way her chest rises and falls, the little snore sound effect... it's weirdly peaceful. Then the thief's cock clips through her thigh and the moment's gone.

The drunk tag is doing a lot of work here. She's not just tipsy, she's completely gone, and the game leans into that helplessness without any of the guilt or consequence. It's pure id. No dialogue, no choices, just a sequence of positions that escalate until she wakes up or doesn't. I honestly can't remember if she does. The masturbation scene at the start is probably the highlight, mostly because it's the only time she's an active participant. After that she's just a body. A very jiggly, very blonde body.

I keep thinking about the vibrator. It's pink, cheap looking, and it disappears under the couch at some point. Never comes back. That bugged me more than the ethics of the whole thing.

The mouse click feels wrong. Not broken, just... cheap. Like tapping a styrofoam cup. You're this bartender, right, and there's an elf, a succubus, some blonde who's already slurring her words before you even pour anything. The whole thing runs in a browser tab, no weight to it. I kept clicking just to hear that hollow tap sound again. Weird thing to fixate on.

The game is basically a puzzle about getting these fantasy ladies hammered. You serve beers in a specific order. If you mess up the sequence, the elf gives you this look. You know the one. The "I asked for a lager and you handed me piss" face. The drunk blonde is the easiest, she'll take anything. The succubus though, she's tricky. You gotta butter her up with the right drink before she even thinks about loosening that top. There's no real strategy guide, you just fail and retry. The tactile part I can't get over is how the clothes don't just vanish. They slide off in stages, and the animation has this slight delay, like the fabric is catching on skin. It's the only part that feels like someone actually cared.

I spent way too long trying to get the elf's stockings off. The rest of the game is basically a flash animation from 2006, but that one texture on the stockings, the way they roll down, it's almost worth the zero effort put into the tavern background. The background is just a blurry jpeg of some wood planks. It never changes. The girls get wasted and naked and the bar still looks like a default wallpaper. The sound is just a loop of muffled chatter that cuts out abruptly when you win. It's jarring.

Anyway, the end state is all three of them naked and passed out. The succubus has this little snore animation. The blonde drools. It's the kind of thing you'd find on a forgotten corner of newgrounds. The whole thing is a mess but that stocking removal, man. I don't know why that's the hill I'm dying on. The game's called something like Tipsy Tavern or whatever, you'll find it if you search for elf succubus drunk bartender. Just don't expect the mouse to feel good when you click.

Right, so you get Jake, this dude at a New Year’s rave, and his wingman Calvin. The whole thing looks like someone drew it on a napkin after a few too many, deliberately unpolished, which I kinda dig for the trashy vibe. The girls are these smokin hot hentai babes with tits out to here, and there’s drugs everywhere, like pills and shit just scattered around. You click through choices to guide Jake to a babe and, y’know, fuck her brains out. The humor is stupid but it lands, like the wingman’s advice is “Rave with Calvin” and there’s this one girl holding a bottle who looks like she’s already decided tonight’s a bad idea.

The visual artistry here is pure caveman horny, lines are messy, colors are garish neon puke, but somehow that makes the erotic parts hit different? Like when you finally get to the sex scene, it’s this raw, scribbled hentai panel that’s more about the energy than being pretty. The janky design actually amps up the sleazy party feel, like you’re peeking at someone’s dirty sketchbook. But then the pacing is like a microwave burrito, hot and fast then suddenly cold. One minute you’re picking which pill to pop, next you’re balls deep with no buildup. I wanted more of that drunk, messy seduction, the stupid back and forth, but it just jumps to the finish.

Speaking of, there’s this one bit where you choose the girl on the left, the one with the bottle, and Jake just blurts out some line about her ass. It’s so dumb but I laughed, then immediately the sex is over. What the hell? I wanted to see more of that awkward party chaos, people spilling drinks, Calvin being a degenerate. The booty call mechanic is basically just “pick a chick, get laid,” no real dating or seduction, which for a New Year’s thing feels like a missed orgy. Calvin’s “;) 5d1f63d0dd320c20ea07679075fc822d17917361205680743700259591488” what even is that, some code? Maybe it’s an inside joke for hentai fans, but it just made me stare at the screen like I missed a memo. Anyway, the whole thing is a quick, filthy laugh, just don’t expect any depth beyond the next rave pill.