Right, so the blonde keeps cheating. I'm not imagining it. Third round in a row she pulls the exact card she needs and gives me this little smirk, like I'm supposed to find it charming. The brunette just rolls her eyes and unbuttons her top anyway, so I guess we're all complicit in this rigged mess. The whole thing runs on some card game logic I stopped trying to understand after the tutorial popped up for the fifth time. Something about tricks and matching suits. Doesn't matter. You win a hand, they lose a piece of clothing. You lose, and... actually I don't know what happens because I haven't lost yet. The AI is either terrible or they're both throwing on purpose.
The real models thing is weirdly compelling though. Not in a "wow so realistic" way, more like watching someone's slightly awkward webcam show from 2007. The blonde's name is apparently Sasha? Or maybe that's just what the text box called her once before glitching out. She does this little shimmy when her skirt comes off that loops exactly three times, and I've memorized the exact frame where her elbow clips through her own ribcage. The brunette, whoever she is, has this deadpan expression that doesn't change whether she's fully dressed or down to her underwear. It's almost artistic. Like she's judging the entire concept of strip poker and finding it wanting.
The arcade tag is doing some heavy lifting here. There's a score counter in the corner that I think just goes up randomly. Sometimes it adds points when I haven't done anything. The card animations are so janky that half the time the queen of hearts just teleports from my hand to the discard pile with no transition. And yet I kept playing. Not because it's good, but because I wanted to see if the blonde would ever actually lose her bra without the game obviously fudging the numbers. She didn't. I'm pretty sure the deck is stacked against her specifically, which is the opposite of what you'd want in a game about stripping. Or maybe that's the point. Maybe the real striptease is watching me slowly lose my patience while two busty card sharks pretend they're not in on the joke.