Guy shows up in the capital with one braincell goal: “I want to stop jerking off alone.” That’s it. No grand plan, no deep life purpose, just horny ambition and a packed underwear situation. Then game looks at him and says “cute, but no” and throws this smoking hot mystery woman in his way who basically speedruns his whole life into a weird sex RPG. It feels like the universe matched him with a chaotic cougar dungeon master on Tinder and he clicked “accept” without reading the profile.

The funny part is how it keeps pretending to be a serious fantasy quest while you’re literally peeking through keyholes to see bored wives doing self-care with toys because their husbands are away "at war" or whatever excuse. One moment I was trying to min-max charisma to unlock some noble lady route, next moment I’m in a barn, hand halfway up some stacked farmer’s wife’s dress, trying to hit a “don’t get caught” prompt while a cow looks at me like I’m the weird one. The game loves these tiny point & click puzzles where the reward is “you get to touch her tits” instead of gold, and somehow that works. Sometimes you just click everything on the screen like a monkey until you find the one thing that lets you progress to the next sex scene. I hate that. I also did it happily for an hour straight.

It feels like someone mashed an old-school dating sim with a horny fantasy DnD campaign and then forgot to balance anything. You think you’re doing smart choices, planning routes, managing affection like some romance spreadsheet in Google Sheets, and then a random milf with her tits almost falling out just leans over a table and suddenly all your planning becomes “ok I click the lewd option, who cares about consequences.” I tried to be a gentleman at first, then the game starts throwing masturbation scenes at you where your character is literally jerking it while spying through a window, and at that point my moral high ground just packed its bags and left. The animated bits are surprisingly expressive, like, you really feel when a hand slides under cloth or when someone gets groped in a dark hallway and gasps just a bit too loud. Sometimes I wished the sandbox stuff had more teeth, more risk, more people getting actually mad at me. It probably never will, and fine, I keep touching everything anyway. The humor is stupid and horny in that “I shouldn’t laugh but I do” way, like a cursed Discord server meme with boobs. Half the time I forgot what the main quest even is, because every side path is another frustrated woman, some magical creature with nice hips, and my idiot hero thinking with his dick and still, somehow, stumbling closer to being a legend instead of a public nuisance.