Guy gets dumped by his own dad, basically. Father packs his shit, goes to new family, and you’re stuck with mom and sister, in that house that smells like old memories and drama. Then very fast you’re in the car, boxes in the back, driving to this “new start” that already feels like a porn setup, and of course it is. It starts kind of sad, like a family drama VN on Steam, and then slowly your brain goes, “wait, why is my mom looking that hot in that tight top?” and “why my sis bend over like that, is that really needed?” and from there it just keeps pushing that line. The thing I liked is how normal the early scenes feel: breakfast table, awkward silence, stupid small talk about nothing, phone buzzing with dad sending weird half-guilty messages. And then the camera angle goes lower, suddenly mom’s tits are doing 90% of the emotional acting, and my mouse hand is like, ok, guess we go this way now.

Sex-wise, it hits almost everything people in comments always beg for. Big asses that actually look soft, not like plastic balloons, boobs that bounce when she’s on top, long slow blowjobs with too much spit, the kind where you literally forget what the dialogue was about. The lesbian bits really surprised me, because they’re not just “oh look, two girls tongue each other for the male gaze.” There is this one scene where your sister is trying to “cheer mom up” after a fight on the phone with dad, and it starts innocent, like hugging on the couch, then suddenly there’s a hand under the shirt, nipple tease, and mom is half resisting, half grinding. I had to pause and sit there like, “ok, this is messed up” while still clicking forward like a horny idiot. And later, when the MC walks in at the wrong timing and just stands there, rock hard, they pretend not to see him for a couple seconds too long. That kind of slow, mean tease is all over the game. The adventure part is more like wandering around, checking rooms at slightly wrong times, listening at doors, picking small choices that change if mom ends the night with a glass of wine or with your dick in her mouth. Also there is this one dumb little thing: the footjob UI prompt is super tiny, like this little icon that I keep missing, and every time I want toes around my cock I click the wrong spot and open the phone menu instead. Super annoying. I will still do it again.

When it really heats up, it doesn’t shy away at all. There are proper anal scenes where you actually see her relax, then tense, then start to enjoy it, not just a quick cut and suddenly everything fits. Creampies are sticky and obvious, not “blink and you miss it.” Handjobs are not throwaway either, they go on, with slow stroking, thumb teasing the tip, her talking softly or dirty, depending on who it is. Mom’s scenes have that MILF energy, like she is trying to be strong but her body just loves the attention, especially when you sneak in with toys. There is one masturbation scene where she thinks she is alone, lying on the bed using a vibrator, biting her lip, and she keeps whispering your dad’s name at first, then it slips and she moans yours instead. I swear I had to reread the text, like, did she just do that? And yeah, she did. The group sex stuff appears later, when everybody pretends the “we are still a normal family” game is over. You get tangle of limbs, tongues, hands everywhere, a blowjob while you finger someone else, maybe a sister riding you while mom sits on your face, that kind of full chaos that feels wrong in all the right ways. I kinda wish the dad showed up physically instead of just being a voice on the phone, but at same time, his absence is what makes all this heat up, so whatever. In the end you’re just there, mouse in hand, juggling choices like “be a good son” or “cum inside mom again” while the horizon of “better life” gets very, very wet.

Guy is twenty, dick hard, spine soft. That kind of protagonist. He moves into this boring looking apartment block because his crush Aiko lives there, and he thinks it’s going to be all wholesome slice-of-life bullshit. Of course it’s not. The whole place is like a horny pressure cooker. Every floor has some secret: a girl using a vibrator a little too loudly behind a paper-thin wall, neighbors whispering about who’s getting fucked by who, that kind of vibe. It starts “pure” with him trying to confess to Aiko, stuttering like an idiot, jerking off in his room because he can hear her shower. Then she finds out about his feelings and instead of blushing she looks at him like fresh meat. That’s the switch. This is not a romance where the shy guy grows up and becomes a hero. He’s a toy, and the game really enjoys making you feel that.

Aiko is cruel in this soft, playful way that hits harder than straight-up abuse. She makes him edge while she sits on the couch texting someone else. She uses her feet on his cock and then acts bored halfway, like she’s helping a neighbor carry groceries instead of making him whine. She plays “innocent girlfriend” outside, but when the door closes she’s snapping pictures of him in panties and telling him how cute his “clit” looks. There are scenes where she pulls other girls into it, like it’s nothing. One moment she’s kissing him gentle, tongue slow, and the next she’s wiping her spit on his lips and telling another girl to “try him, he’s obedient.” Group scenes feel messy and intimate at the same time: too many hands, some teasing him, some slapping, someone pushing a toy in his ass while another girl rides his face and Aiko just watches, smiling like she’s proud and disappointed together. Sometimes she’ll let him cum inside, warm creampie and soft moan, then immediately humiliate him for how fast he finished. Other times she makes him stay a virgin in one way while turning him into a complete slut in another. You get these tiny choices about resisting or giving in, and half the time even “resist” just means you’ll break a bit later. The corruption is slow enough to feel nasty, but not slow enough that I stop yanking my dick. Honestly I ended up spending more time rerolling scenes and reloading for different reactions than actually “progressing”. It has that gacha feeling in story form, like “maybe this run she will call me good boy while stepping on my face, not just laugh.” And yeah, I got exactly that, and it still somehow wasn’t enough.

What I liked most is how the game doesn’t pretend the MC is secretly in control. He’s not. The girls treat him like a stress toy. One neighbor uses him just for masturbation practice, hands only, no kissing, like she’s learning piano. Another girl goes full lesbian in front of him, grinding on Aiko while making him watch and stroke, then casually uses his mouth like a clean-up tool. There’s anal stuff that just happens after enough teasing, no big drumroll, she just spits on a plug and pushes, tells him to relax, and if you’re like me you’re half angry, half horny, and still clicking “continue”. I kind of hate how small things feel huge: the way Aiko steps on his phone to stop him calling someone, or how she changes his clothes piece by piece until one morning he looks at himself and he’s basically her sissy pet. I wish there was more pushback, some route where he flips it on her, but there isn’t and there won’t be and honestly that makes it hotter. It keeps poking at the cheating angle too, like she might be fucking someone else when he’s not around, but you can dodge it if you want. Or not. Sometimes I let it happen just to see how she’d humiliate him afterwards. The game is clumsy in spots, dialogue weird, pacing off, a couple scenes feel like they forgot foreplay and just jumped straight to toys and screaming, but I still kept one hand on the mouse and one under the desk. I told myself I’d only play until he “wins her heart”. He never really does. He just gets addicted to her, to the collar you don’t see but definitely feel every time she smiles. And I’m still here, like an idiot gacha whale, praying for one more perfect pull where she says my name instead of his.

Ark is basically the kind of idiot king that every hentai forum thread secretly wants to be. He’s supposed to be building a “serious” power base and challenging this smug, horny demon queen called Lady Erostegia for the throne, but half the time it feels like he’s just stumbling from one set of tits to the next and somehow that counts as politics. The story pretends it’s high fantasy, with courts and schemes and all that, but then you're blackmailing a holy knight because you caught her fingering herself in a shrine, or getting a footjob in a council chamber while two nobles argue about taxes in the background. It sounds messy? It is messy. That’s the charm. Characters don’t just pop in to suck your dick and vanish, they kind of stick around, open their own side dramas, get jealous, make stupid decisions, and you realize you’re suddenly tracking who already took your virginity in which timeline like you’re doing homework on Pornhub notes. I liked that the game pretends you have moral choices while also shoving your cock into almost every scene. You can “corrupt” the sweet girls slowly, or be that bastard who uses them like tools, but honestly, even when you go for wholesome romance, you’re still probably going to end up creampie stuffing someone on a throne or sneaking into their bed for sleep sex while they mumble your name in their dreams. Totally immoral. Very nice.

What really sells it is how shameless it is about mixing goofy humor with real filth. One moment there's a milf sorceress scolding you like a teacher, next moment you have her drooling on your shaft, voice shaking as she tries to keep her “royal advisor” act together while you make her gag. The game likes to tease you a lot too. There are scenes where girls cosplay as “innocent” maidens or parody characters from other series, and if you’re a degenerate who spends too much time on certain subreddits, you’ll spot what they’re referencing and probably feel weirdly called out. Animations are not some crazy high-budget masterpiece, but they do the job really well: hips grind, toes curl around your dick in those footjob scenes, cum actually lands where it’s supposed to instead of doing that weird floaty manga thing. The voice work helps a lot. Some moans are soft and embarrassed, others are like “fuck me more, king” with that dominant tone that makes you feel like you’re the one getting conquered. There’s female domination stuff that can hit hard if you let Erostegia or one of the more twisted girls take the lead, pushing you to the bed, making you beg, riding you until you’re actually a little scared of how much they enjoy milking you dry. Or you can play it like a pure power trip and turn them into your drooling toys instead. NTR and swinging paths are there in the background like a loaded gun in the drawer: you can avoid them, but just knowing they exist gives the whole sandbox more tension. You’re fucking them, but are you sure they’re not fucking someone else behind the curtains? The game never stops reminding you that being king in a sex-obsessed court means everyone is watching, everyone is scheming, and half the time you’re too busy buried in some girl’s pussy to notice who’s spying on you from the shadows.

Shawn’s story feels like watching that nerdy guy from the phone shop finally snap and decide “ok, I want pussy and romance, not just anime and cable management.” You start as this awkward clerk who spends more time staring at big asses and big tits than actually selling shit, and slowly you figure out how to turn all that hopelessness into actual dates, groping, and a messy harem situation if you want. It’s a point and click thing, mostly, but wrapped like a mobile game where you’re always checking stats, schedules, moods, messages, and thinking “ok, who do I text for a blowjob tonight and who do I take to the park so she doesn’t hate me.” It feels a bit like Tinder combined with doing chores. Sexy chores with footjobs and titfucks at the end if you play it right.

The three main women all poke at you in different ways. Palla is this lazy moocher roommate who walks around the apartment half dressed, constantly teasing, like she knows exactly how hard your dick is when she bends over the couch. First time I got to grope her “by accident,” in the kitchen, I actually had to put the phone down for a second. She complains, pretends to be offended, but you see the romance flags going up and suddenly you’re on the bed with her giving you oral, and you’re like, yeah ok, that escalated fast. Audrey is the one who roasts you non-stop, the kind of girl that calls you a nerd in public, then lets you finger her in the cinema if you picked the right dialogue two days before. I had one scene where I messed up a choice and she just walked away, no sex, nothing, and I had to grind work again like a clown just to afford a stupid gift to fix things. Amy is even worse. Co-worker who treats you like trash, and when you finally flip the script, you can go sweet romance or full scumbag. My first run I tried to be nice, gave her presents, asked her out to cute dating spots. Second run I just went horny goblin and rushed for a bathroom blowjob at the store. Both paths feel wrong and fun in different ways.

The sandbox structure is where shit gets interesting and also a bit annoying. You wander around different locations, click stuff, run into random events, try to keep everyone happy without blowing your cover. One day you’re having tender vaginal sex with one girl on a date after building up affection, the next day you accidentally line up a booty call with another and suddenly your whole “faithful guy” image is dead. I liked how you can be a sweet romantic nerd who sends flirty texts and brings flowers, or a manipulative seducer stacking a harem where everyone is sharing your dick, or at least pretending not to care. Sometimes it feels like you’re juggling too much. Money, clothes, phones, schedules, affection, lust, jealousy. I got lost once just trying to remember who liked which gift on which day, cursed at the screen, then kept going anyway because I wanted to see that one scene where she sits on your face after a long teasing build-up. That’s the thing here. You end up doing little boring actions for the chance of a hot event where you get a footjob on the couch, or she wraps her massive tits around your shaft and you forget all the min-maxing for a minute. It’s messy, horny, sometimes romantic, sometimes just straight up scummy, and it feels exactly like a nerd’s brain trying to manage porn fantasies and actual relationships at the same time.

Your life is basically a shitty spreadsheet of coffee stains and ignored emails when she shows up. Not in a cool dramatic way either. One second you’re half-asleep at your desk, the next there’s this smug, gorgeous succubus stretching like she owns the place, tits out, tail swaying, heels on your paperwork. Calysindra feels like that one toxic situationship you know is bad for you, but the sex is ridiculous, so you keep answering their DMs anyway. Only this time, it’s your soul on the line, not just your self-respect. And yeah, the game actually leans into that. Every time you say “yes” to her, it feels a bit like you’re handing over another piece of yourself… and then she rewards you with a blowjob that makes your screen feel way too small.

What I liked is how the erotic stuff doesn’t just pop up as random cutscenes. You push her around a little, she pushes back harder. Let her ride you once while she’s whispering corrupt little promises in your ear, and suddenly she’s slipping a finger in your ass the next time, like, “Oh, you didn’t say no before, did you?” The escalation feels natural in a fucked up way. One route I played, I kept trying to act like a good guy, resisting her, pretending I’m better than this. Then I caved during this footjob scene where she has you on the floor, heels dug into your chest, toes wrapped around your cock, and she keeps asking, “You really think you’re in control here?” I swear I clicked through that scene too fast, like I was actually flustered. And then later the game quietly reminds you what you agreed to when she’s sitting in your lap, cleaning up your cum with her tongue and casually talking about claiming your soul like it’s rent money.

Sometimes the camera lingers way too long on her ass while she’s riding you, and I kinda love that, but also the UI button in the corner is one pixel off and it annoyed me every single time. You get these branches where you stop being just her toy and start pushing back for real, using this demonic blood thing that wakes up inside you. Suddenly the blowjob where she was in full control flips, and you have her on her knees, hand in her hair, fucking her throat until tears mess up her perfect makeup. She smiles through it, of course. She always does. There’s anal that actually feels earned, like you pushed the corruption far enough that her bending over the desk and begging you to “fill every hole” just makes sense now. There’s vaginal creampies where she tightens around you like she’s milking you dry on purpose, and you can either moan her name or growl in her ear and use her like a fleshlight with horns. One of my favorite bits is a small thing: she casually lifts her foot to your mouth during a normal dialogue scene, tells you to kiss it if you want her help. Nothing hardcore yet, just this soft corruption, and later that tiny choice turns into a full-on domination foot worship scene where you’re licking her soles while she fucks you from above. I still have no idea how many endings there are, I just keep chasing the ones where I either completely own her or lose myself inside her, and both feel weirdly comfortable. Anyway, the game opens in an office and I still don’t remember what the original job was. I just remember her tongue, her tail wrapping around my leg, and the way she smiles when I finally stop pretending I’m not enjoying all of it.

You wake up in this therapy center with your brain feeling like someone hit “delete” on half your save files, and the person in charge of fixing you is a woman who definitely should not be allowed to call what she does “therapy”. Miss Lust looks at your trauma like it’s a puzzle she’s horny to solve, and every “session” is basically her asking “what if we push you just a bit further?” then shoving you off the cliff instead. One moment she’s talking gently about memory blocks, the next she’s got you on your knees, collar around your neck, making you shuffle a deck of cards that decides if you’re going to get your ass stretched, your clothes taken away, or your dignity ripped apart in front of people who should not be watching but totally are. The whole card thing sounds simple until you realize it’s not about winning, it’s about how badly you’re willing to lose. You draw a card, suddenly you owe her worship, or your body gets put on display to some stranger behind a glass wall, or she turns your “normal” male protagonist into this confused pretty sissy who starts to like the high heels way too fast. And you tell yourself “this is fucked up, I’m being corrupted”, while at the same time moving the mouse to pick the filthier option because curiosity is a worse dom than Miss Lust.

The game loves to tease that maybe there is romance, maybe she actually cares, then five minutes later she’s auctioning you off for a “special session” with a futa client who treats your ass like it’s public property while Miss Lust just watches, taking notes like it’s a science project. There is this one scene where you stand naked in a corridor with nothing but a card in your hand, and the rule is that you can’t cover yourself at all while strangers pass by and comment, and one woman stops just to step on your cock with her heel, then smiles like she is tipping a waiter. Then later, Miss Lust offers you a “soft” option with cuddles and vaginal sex that almost feels tender, and the game has the nerve to make that feel more humiliating than the gangbang because suddenly you care what she thinks. There are branching paths that turn you into her obedient slave, her little toy prostituted to other patients, the secret lover she hides behind professional talk, or the broken thing that gets off on being called pathetic while licking her feet. The voyeur stuff gets wild too, like that card that forces you to watch another patient being transformed, stripped, and used by two women and one guy while you jerk under the table, trying not to get caught, and if you fail the check she drags you out by the hair and makes you finish in front of them. It is messy, horny, occasionally weirdly sweet, and then it slaps you with NTR flavor just when you start to feel safe. Honestly I wish there was one path where you just say “nope” and go to normal therapy, but also, I’d never click it.

Tiny northern village, cold air, warm mouths. That’s the vibe here. You play this city-trained chef who drops into a place that looks quiet from outside, but every person you meet is either horny, weird, or both. The “friend’s restaurant” is basically your hub of chaos. You start chopping onions and two minutes later somebody’s hand is around your cock under the prep table while you’re trying not to burn the sauce. It’s got that small-town feeling where everyone knows everyone, and everyone wants to know what’s in your pants. Half the time you’re cooking, half the time you’re wondering how the hell this tiny village ended up with so many hot moms, pushy coworkers and straight up monster babes walking around like that’s normal.

The restaurant is your excuse to bump into all of them. Milf regular who pretends she only comes for the soup, but keeps “forgetting” her panties. Coworker that gives you shit about your knife skills while very calmly pressing her foot into your crotch behind the bar, like that’s part of the job. There’s a monster girl from the edge of the village who shows up after dark, hood on, wants something “rare” and ends up with your dick in her mouth under the table while you pray nobody walks in. Scenes don’t just pop out of nowhere, they grow out of these little moments: wiping a counter together, joking about some stupid order, then suddenly she’s got you pinned against the fridge with her knee between your legs and this look like “you’re not going anywhere”. Sometimes you’re the one in control, sometimes they just use you like a toy and you kinda love it. The game leans into that mix of romance and being absolutely manhandled, with enough humor that it doesn’t feel like some edgy teen fantasy, more like a dirty sitcom that got left alone with a porn budget.

Sex itself gets pretty spicy. Proper animated stuff: slow strokes when a milf wraps her hand around you in the storeroom, sloppy spit when a girl goes down on you behind the closed kitchen door, her lipstick smearing while she tries to keep quiet and fails. Foot stuff shows up in the funniest moments, like you’re at work, having this serious talk about menu changes, and under the table she’s already nudging your cock with her toes, then sliding her sole up and down while still arguing about garnish. There’s lesbian bits too, like catching two village girls in the back after closing, one fingering the other over the sink while they think nobody sees them, then pulling you in because “we might as well use the chef too”. Masturbation scenes feel oddly personal, like the milf next door riding her own fingers while thinking about your cooking, or the monster girl in the woods grinding on your discarded jacket. Vaginal, oral, handjobs, even that scene where a woman rides your face like she owns the place and then makes you beg before she lets you fuck her. It’s all pretty raw, a bit goofy sometimes, and weirdly cozy for a game with that much spit, cum and moaning going on in a village with sheep in the background and a restaurant that absolutely would fail a health inspection if anyone saw what really happens in that kitchen.

TableTop BornStar is that kind of filth that pretends to be a respectable “board game experiment” and then just drags you into a slow, dirty corruption trip where you end up clicking “yes” to things you swore you wouldn’t. You’re this washed-up talent agent stuck in his office with an ankle bracelet, basically a horny goblin in a cheap suit, and you’ve got Mary Jane on the phone and in your cams, this adorable country girl who thinks Hollywood is about “art” and “dreams” and has no idea what cumshot even means yet. Every turn is dice and cards and little choices that feel small, like “take this photoshoot” or “meet this producer” or “try this new ‘acting exercise’ that just happens to involve a vibrator under the table”. Then ten turns later she’s doing anal for a low-budget indie “thriller” and you’re like, ok, maybe that one friendly massage suggestion was the start of a very long fall. It’s fun how the management side is just enough to feel like you’re actually running some crooked porn empire from your phone while you’re on the toilet, checking stats like “fame” and “innocence” and “kink” like it’s a spreadsheet, except the spreadsheet moans and asks if you like her new lingerie.

What really got me addicted is how the game keeps throwing you these decisions that sound sweet or romantic, then immediately gives you a way nastier branch if you’re in the mood to be a complete bastard. You can play the nice manager, hold her hand (and yeah, later, more than hand) and try to keep things “classy”, take her on slow-burn romance scenes, oral under the desk, soft cuddling after a creampie, all that fake Hollywood love story vibe. Or you can push her into exhibitionist gigs where she’s stripping in a cheap club with drunk assholes grabbing her big ass, backstage masturbation sessions just to “relax before the take”, weird board game events where a card suddenly lets you suggest a lesbian scene with her roommate and the only thing stopping you is your own conscience, which you probably left at the title screen. I had one run where she started in this cute sundress, barely kissing anyone, next thing she’s on a casting couch with three guys, toys involved, you’re watching from a camera like some happy little voyeur, and the game just shrugs like, “Hey, you rolled the card.” Then another run I tried to be more caring, focused on romance, and still somehow ended up with pregnancy drama and her asking if you’ll stay with her while she’s rubbing her belly and offering you a footjob because “you helped her so much”. Completely fucked up in the best way.

What I didn’t expect is how funny it is sometimes. There’s these stupid jokes about Hollywood, failed movies, directors who think they’re geniuses because they added one artsy black-and-white sex scene, and your character is just roasting everyone while also setting up gangbang auditions. The humor kind of hides how rough some choices are. One card event I got had Mary Jane doing a “serious” acting workshop which turns into blindfolded “trust exercises”, and the sound of the dice roll made me way more nervous than it should. Speaking of sounds, the audio is surprisingly decent: little gasps when you push her too far, slaps during spanking scenes that feel almost too real on headphones, wet sucking during oral that made me close other tabs fast so nobody hears. I wish there was a bit more variety in some moans, sometimes they loop in a way that made me think my browser bugged out, but I still kept playing, so whatever. The animated bits are short, kind of rough, but that fits the late 90s Hollywood trash vibe, like watching old bootleg porn tapes someone recorded over daytime TV. And those multiple endings sneak up on you: one time she was broken, fully corrupted and still smiling on red carpets, another time she was this successful “serious actress” who secretly sends you nudes between shoots, and I’m pretty sure there’s at least one path where you actually don’t ruin her completely, but I keep accidentally pulling cards with sex toys and group sex offers, so maybe I’m the problem, not the game.

This one feels like catching some dude’s dirty browser history and then realizing you kind of want to keep scrolling. You’re in this cramped little house vibe with a young guy who’s way too into his mom, and it doesn’t even pretend to be wholesome. It starts slow, just small stuff, watching her walk around in those tight clothes, the shirt that rides up when she reaches, boobs practically falling out. You click through his internal monologue, and he keeps telling himself it’s wrong, he’ll stop, he’ll be “normal”, all that. Then she catches him jerking off with her panties, and everything tilts. That scene is where I paused like three times just to grab GIFs, because her face slides from shock to this kind of hungry curiosity, and the animation leans in hard on that ahegao twist, tongue, eyes, the whole package.

Once that door is open, the game stops pretending it’s about “morality” and just goes into every kink it promised. There’s the slow burn romance angle where she’s stroking his hair, calling him her “good boy”, acting like she wants to protect him, and three lines later she’s on her knees, drool on his shaft, tits pressed together for a messy titfuck that ends in a creamy drip between her cleavage. And yeah, the big tits are not just background decoration, the camera keeps zooming on them, bouncing, squeezed in tight tops, nipples poking through when things get heated. You can go from soft handjob scenes on the couch, where the room is quiet and you only hear his breathing and the little wet strokes, straight to her bending over the bed for anal because she doesn’t want him to “risk” making her pregnant. That anal scene after the argument in the hallway was wild, she’s half mad, half turned on, telling him he’s a bad son while pushing her ass back on him, and then the game lingers on the creampie inside, like way longer than it needs to. Not complaining.

It’s kinda funny, sometimes it pretends like female domination is the main theme, with her ordering him to lick her feet, making him massage her legs and then sliding her toes over his dick, really slow, teasing him, talking about how boys shouldn’t touch their moms. Then suddenly he snaps and flips her on the bed and you get this rough male domination sequence where she’s begging for more, nails in his back, ahegao face in full glory, legs shaking while he pounds her. The spanking parts sit in a weird place for me: on one hand, great angles of her fat ass jiggling when he slaps it, red handprints blooming, panties pulled to the side. On the other hand, the sound effect there is just a bit off, like someone clapped in a bathroom. I kept noticing that, especially with headphones on, and then I forgot about it because she starts moaning louder and you get that slow zoom on his cock sliding inside her, wet and shiny, and yeah, brain empty again. There’s also a short masturbation scene where she thinks he’s asleep, rubbing herself on his bed, whispering his name, and that one might be my favorite, since it mixes the romance with the pure filth so well. Honestly it tries to act deep for a second with all his guilt and talk about leaving home, but it’s total bullshit in the best way, because every choice that looks “pure” still leads you into some new angle of oral, anal, or her riding him in the living room while the curtains are half open like they both want the neighbors to see.