Arcadia looks cute for like two seconds, then the game grabs you by the dick and just doesn’t let go. You open it on your phone “just to check it” while scrolling Twitter or Telegram, and suddenly you’re in this twisted fantasy version of pony land where everyone forgot what clothes are and what “subtle” means. It’s that kind of parody where you can tell the dev actually watched way too much My Little Pony, then asked “ok but what if all of them just wanted to fuck the human guy nonstop”. The male protagonist drops into this fantasy world, pretending to be confused, but honestly he adapts to the constant tits and wet thighs faster than I do when switching from Reddit to Pornhub. The tone is weirdly playful: one scene you’re joking with a smug unicorn, the next you’ve got her pressed against a crystal wall with your cock in her mouth while she still tries to cast spells and fails because you keep making her gag. The writing sometimes feels like horny fanfic you read on some shady Discord, and that kinda works.

At first you just think “ok, pony girls with big tits, I get it”, but the game keeps layering more on top. Some are more human with pony vibes, others are clearly monster girls with hooves, tails, ears, that whole furry tempt-you thing. One unicorn girl starts shy, blushing while you tease her nipples, and three scenes later she’s begging you to fill her up and whining when you pull out instead of creampying her. There’s one milk-obsessed mare that had me laughing because her whole personality is basically “touch my tits or leave”, and she literally floods your chest with warm milk during a titfuck while she grinds on your thigh. The harem vibe sneaks in slowly; you realize you’re not picking one waifu, you’re just collecting them like horny Pokémon. You end up with a room full of horny mares, some fully human-looking with just ears and tail, some very much monster girls, and they all decide group sex is the natural way to “strengthen harmony”. You know, harmony by putting your dick in three mouths and a tight ass in the same evening. There’s a scene where two girls argue which hole you should use first, and the “solution” becomes you fucking one from behind, anal, while the other sits on your face and moans into the pillow. Somewhere in there they talk about friendship but honestly I wasn’t reading the text at that point.

What really got me is how casual the lesbian stuff is. The girls don’t wait for you; they lick each other, share your cum like it’s a game, suck off your shaft together and then make out with your load still in their mouths. One pegasus girl pins the unicorn down, spreads her legs, starts licking her pussy, then looks back at you like “well, are you joining or just watching like a creep?” You slide in behind and suddenly it’s this three-way where you’re slamming into the pegasus while she eats the unicorn out, and you can see her tongue still moving even when she’s whining from how hard you’re pounding her. Anal happens almost too fast, like you blink and a pony girl that was shy in the previous scene is now begging for you to “use her back door” while her friend plays with the cum dripping from her pussy. Some of the transformations are lowkey freaky in a hot way: a sweet mare gets corrupted into something darker, more monster-like, and the next time you see her she rides you hard with glowing eyes and lactation going crazy, milk splashing on your stomach while she grinds your dick into her soaked slit. It’s messy, over the top, sometimes stupid, and honestly that’s the charm. The game doesn’t pretend to be classy. It just drops you into a horny pony fantasy world, shoves huge tits in your face, and lets you fuck everything that moves, usually twice, sometimes while it’s changing shape around your cock.

Keiichi feels like that dude who sits alone in the corner of a beach bar, pretending he’s “just enjoying the view” while his entire life is quietly catching fire. The game throws you right into his vacation, into this fake-relaxing tropical vibe where the air smells like sunscreen and cheap cocktails, and suddenly every girl you meet has a body that makes you forget what you were going to say. It looks like some light romantic thing at first, all smiles at the hotel café, sand stuck between toes, sun on brown skin, but it doesn’t stay soft. One moment you’re sharing iced coffee with a curvy Brazilian waitress, watching her ass sway when she leans over to clean a table, and the next she’s teasing you under the counter with her foot, pressing her soft sole against your crotch while she keeps talking like nothing’s happening. She laughs when you spill your drink, by the way. Total bully energy, and I kind of hated it and loved it.

The whole story is written like this messy diary he’s keeping on his phone, like when you open Google Docs at night and write stuff you’d never send to anyone. Some scenes are sweet in a painful way. You’re on the beach at sunset with this latina girl who pretends she just wants to talk about “future plans” and family drama, but the camera just sits way too long on her tits pushed up in that bikini, on tan thighs crossed in the sand. She puts her feet in your lap, wriggling her toes like it’s nothing, and casually asks if you’ve ever had your dick sucked on an empty shore. Cue choice screen: be a gentleman, or let her slowly slide down, her lips wrapping around you while waves crash in the background. You can pick if he’s loyal or just a horny idiot, but no matter what you choose, you still feel like a creep checking all the routes. There’s a party scene too, loud music, glow sticks, everyone half-drunk, her lipstick smeared as she pushes you into a dark corner near the pool and takes you in her mouth, choking and giggling, then asking if you’d still call her in the morning. You probably won’t.

The game keeps throwing women at you like you’re the last man on earth. Big tits bouncing in tight tops at the hotel café, big asses in tiny shorts walking ahead of you on the boardwalk, different skin tones, different attitudes. One is shy and romantic, blushing when your hand brushes her ankle, then later she’s the one giving you a slow, almost worshipful footjob on the bed, her painted toes gripping your shaft while she whispers that she wants to belong to you. Another girl flirts with your friends, flirts with everyone actually, and if you follow the wrong choices she heads off with some other guy, and the game just lets you sit in that sick netorare feeling, reading Keiichi’s jealous diary entry where he pretends it doesn’t bother him. Sometimes the choices feel fake, like they clearly want you to go for the full harem route, with all of them orbiting around your dick on this “vacation that changes everything”, but then there are these tiny moments where someone refuses you, or talks about old wounds, and suddenly your porn game turns into late-night emotional torture. Still, every time I told myself I’d stick to one wholesome romance, I ended up at another beach party, staring at bouncing tits in a wet bikini top, toes sliding along my shaft under the table, and clicking the most trash option available without even pretending to be a good guy.

Game looks almost too simple when you first open it. Guy walks around, girls lose things, you help, then things get very naked very fast. That is basically the whole idea, and it somehow works way better than it sounds. It feels like those lazy mobile gacha games you open while waiting for bus, except instead of pulling anime swords you end up balls deep in a stacked redhead on the couch. There is something kind of funny about how normal the start of each scene is. “Hey, I lost this, can you help?” and five clicks later your cock is in her throat and her mascara is crying more than she is. The game does not even pretend to be classy, and I kind of respect that. You want big tits? They are big. You want big asses? The camera absolutely knows. There are a lot of shots where the dev just parked the view directly on the ass like a worship altar, with those slow animations when you slide in her pussy and her cheeks jiggle for a second too long. Mobile controls are actually decent. Thumb on the screen, tap choices, tap again to switch from blowjob to titfuck to just grab her hair and fuck her mouth harder. No long tutorial, you just learn by doing, which is accurate for sex and also for porn games, I guess. One little thing that annoyed me: sometimes the text boxes block the good part of the action and you have to tap them away in a hurry, and I keep misclicking the wrong dialogue option because my hand is already busy, you know. But then the next scene starts with her sitting on your lap, bouncing, boobs slapping against her chest with those wet sounds, and I forget what I was angry about. Typical.

The harem stuff comes in slowly. At first it feels like just random girls who misplace their things, then you realize the game wants you to collect them like horny Pokémon. One moment you are helping a shy girl find her “lost” notebook, next moment she is bent over a table, panties around her ankle, and your dick is sliding between her folds in that looped animation that never quite syncs with the moans, which somehow makes it hotter, like a cheap porn loop you keep replaying. Later you have two or three of them hung around you like you are the last dick on Earth. There is one scene where you finish in her mouth, she swallows, and the other girl just turns around and offers her ass without a word, and the game lets you just ram it in. Anal here is not subtle at all; it is very “shove first, questions later”. I was expecting more pussy focus, but some of the anal angles are honestly the best ones, especially when her ass is so big it almost hides your entire body. And the cumshots, holy shit. You can finish in, on tits, on face, sometimes all three if you replay, and the animation actually changes instead of just recoloring the same splash. There is this one titfuck where her boobs squeeze together and the cum squirts straight up her neck and chin, and it looked way better than it had any right to in a horny little mobile game like this. Story is trash in a charming way, dialogue swings between goofy and “did an actual human write this at 4% battery”. But I kept tapping, unlocked more girls, more holes, more ridiculous scenes where everyone somehow lost something again. It feels dirty in that specific browser-in-incognito way, and yeah, I’m already pretending I never played it while secretly planning which girl to knock up next time I open it.

Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.