The cum meter is a goddamn lie.

I stared at it for maybe five minutes just clicking between speeds, trying to figure out the logic. There is none. It fills up when it feels like it, basically. The whole thing with switching speeds to make the bar go faster? Sometimes it works, sometimes Rukia just keeps doing her thing at the same pace and the meter barely twitches. It's like the game forgets what you clicked. Then suddenly you hit the hard speed and the whole screen shakes and the meter explodes in like three seconds flat. Ichigo's face is just there, frozen in this perpetual state of mild shock that honestly fits the source material better than anything else in this whole mess.

The christmas theme is... a choice. Rukia's wearing some red thing that might be a santa outfit if you squint, but the artist clearly gave up halfway through. Her tits look like they were drawn by someone who's only ever seen breasts described in text. "Round orbs," the artist thought, "I will draw two perfect circles." And they did. The facial at the end is the real prize here, thick white ropes that just keep going, way more cum than any human body could produce. It's honestly impressive in a "I can't look away" kind of way. The animation loops are janky as hell, her body moves but her hair stays frozen like it's in a different dimension.

I spent twenty minutes trying to get the perfect screenshot angle and the game crashed. Lost all my... progress? Is it progress if you're just clicking a button to make anime characters fuck? The Bleach purists would riot if they saw this. Ichigo's bankai is nowhere to be found but his dick sure is. Priorities, I guess.

That moment when the girl wakes up, still half in her party dress, and just... offers herself. No buildup, no dating sim bullshit. The whole thing runs on this weird logic where gratitude equals immediate sexual availability, which is problematic as hell but also exactly what you're clicking for. Her eyes are that specific anime-drunk blur, hair a mess, and the first thing she does is reach for his belt.

The blowjob scene. God. They spent actual time on the cheek hollowing, the way her tongue moves when she pulls back. There's this one frame where she looks up, eyes watering slightly, and the saliva connects in this thin string that breaks when she goes back down. Technical artists would call it janky, the line work gets sloppy around the edges, but that sloppiness somehow makes it hotter. Like someone drew this one handed and didn't bother cleaning up. The pussy licking part comes after, and it's fine I guess, but you can tell where the artist's interests really were. Her reactions during oral are way more detailed than anything else. The drunk girl tag is there from the start but the game forgets about it completely after she wakes up. She goes from stumbling mess to enthusiastic porn star in zero seconds flat. A hangover? Never heard of her. The cute aesthetic clashes weirdly with how mechanical the whole thing feels. Click here, get this reaction, move to next position. No dialogue choices, no branching paths, just a sequence of escalating acts.

Wish there was some way to keep that initial drunk energy going through the whole thing. A mod that adds slurred speech bubbles or clumsy moments where she misses her aim would make it feel less like a robot with a blowjob subroutine. Or a DLC where you actually have to convince her, where the gratitude is just the opening and you need to work for the rest. As it stands, the best way to play is to slow down on purpose. Don't rush through the frames. Let each expression sit. The artist clearly had a thing for that specific moment right before she takes him deeper, and honestly, same.

Boss is in a meeting so I'm alt tabbing between spreadsheets and this judge game. You know the one. Green haired girl with glasses, courtroom setting, the whole thing is basically a minigame for getting your dick sucked under the bench. I don't know what I expected.

The glasses stay on the whole time which is important information for some of you. She's got this look like she's about to object to something but instead she's just... not objecting. At all. The humor lands somewhere between Phoenix Wright parody and straight up porn logic, like why is there a minigame for this. Why does the judge need to pass a skill check to receive head. The whole premise is so stupid I kept clicking. You're literally fulfilling some judge's dream of getting blown in his own courtroom and the green haired girl is just committed to the bit, under the table, doing the thing while presumably court is in session. Nobody notices. The anime style is rough but like, deliberately rough? Like it knows what it is and doesn't try to be more. The minigame part is simple enough that you can play it one handed which I assume is the design philosophy here.

I wish there was more to the actual trial stuff but there won't be. It's part one of something so it just kind of ends when things get going. The blowjob scene itself is the whole point and it's fine, the animation loops a bit weird but the expressions on the girl's face carry it. She's got this smug thing happening like she knows she's ruining the justice system. I forgot what I was going to say about replayability. There isn't any really unless you really like that one specific scene. The minigame doesn't change. But for what it is, a five minute browser thing you open while pretending to work, it delivers exactly the one thing it promises. Green hair. Glasses. Courtroom head. Moving on.

Right, so this is HALC Summer 2011. A slot machine. With anime bikini girls. The whole thing feels like someone found a folder of old hentai JPEGs from a long dead forum and built a gambling interface around it in Flash. Not that I'm complaining. The art is that specific early 2000s style, big eyes, shiny skin, hair colors that don't exist in nature. The casino part is just a Go button. You press it. Wheels spin. Numbers go up. You earn points. That's it. No strategy, no betting choices, just clicking. My finger got tired before my dick did, which is a weird problem to have.

The pictures unlock in pages, like a photo album. And the girls, they're all in these tiny string bikinis that look painted on. There's one with blue hair and a shell necklace that's supposed to be at the beach but the background is just a flat gradient. The explicit stuff is... fine? It's not animated, just still images. Some are more explicit than others. You get a close up of a wet pussy, then the next unlock is just a girl holding a beach ball. The pacing is all over the place. I spent twenty minutes grinding points for a picture of a girl's armpit. Not even a sexy armpit, just... an armpit. I don't know what I expected.

The sound is a crime. It's this looping summer jingle that burrows into your brain. I can still hear it. The casino chimes when you win points are way too loud compared to everything else. There's no volume slider. Of course there isn't. The whole thing is held together with hope and probably some stolen code. But I kept clicking. I don't know why. Maybe it's the simplicity. No complex systems, no dating sim dialogue trees, just monkey brain see number go up, monkey brain see titty. It's almost meditative if you mute the tab. Which you should. Immediately.

The whole thing runs on a loop that feels like someone left a hentai gif on repeat and forgot about it. She just keeps going. Same rhythm, same wet sounds, same glasses that never quite fog up properly which is honestly a missed opportunity. I spent way too long fixated on that. Like, you've got this whole facial cumshot mechanic where you can just keep clicking to add more, layer after layer, and the glasses stay perfectly clear. Physics don't work that way. I've seen enough to know.

The library setting is barely there. A couple books in the background that you stop noticing after thirty seconds because all the action is just this one repeating oral scene. She's got that dead eyed anime expression that some people are really into, the kind where she looks vaguely inconvenienced by the whole thing. You control the speed I guess? It's not really clear if your clicking matters or if the animation just does its thing regardless. The cum button is right there though, big and obvious, and you can press it as many times as you want. No cooldown. No refractory period. Just infinite ropes across her face while she keeps those glasses on like nothing's happening.

The sound design is what gets me. There's this one particular squelch that loops slightly off beat from the animation and once you notice it you can't unhear it. Drove me absolutely insane. But I kept clicking. That's the weird part about games this simple, they bypass your brain entirely and go straight to something more primitive. No story, no dialogue, no variation in the blowjob animation whatsoever. Just glasses girl, big dick, cum button, repeat. The facial expressions never change even after you've absolutely plastered her. Somewhere in the middle of my third reload I realized I was critiquing the texture resolution of the background bookshelves and had to question my life choices.

The sound of a zipper going down in this one. Not the actual metal teeth, I mean the wet, sticky separation of fabric that's been soaked through. That's the whole audio landscape of AneJiru Juice. Everything is liquid. Everything is thick. There's a moment where the guy pulls out and the sound effect they used is this gloppy, suction heavy pop that I've literally never heard in any other hentai. It sounds like pulling a boot out of deep mud. I rewound that part maybe six times. The bathroom setting is a gift for sound design because every surface is hard tile, so every drip, every splash, every wet slap against skin has this sharp, bright reverb tail. The echo makes it feel more obscene somehow, like you're in a public place.

The voice acting is... there. The girl's moans are fine, standard pitch shifted anime fare, but they get completely buried in the mix under this constant, low frequency hum of what I can only describe as a plumbing problem. Maybe it's supposed to be the bath filling up? It drones on and it drove me nuts. I kept checking if my subwoofer was broken. It's not. It's the game. Or movie. Whatever this is. The cumshot sound is the star here, and they know it. It's not a single burst, it's a layered sequence of heavy glugs and splatters, like someone upended a full water balloon. The sheer volume of it, the way the sound just keeps going, is almost comical. Almost. But then you hear the final trickle hitting the floor and it circles back to being genuinely effective.

The visuals are unpolished in a way that feels less like an artistic choice and more like a rushed deadline. The animation loops are choppy. But the sound design is where the real perversion lives. The wet friction sounds during the grinding scenes are so exaggerated, so squelchy, that they bypass your brain and go straight to a lizard part of you. It's a masterclass in making something feel messier than it is. Forget the plot about tsunami sperm. Just listen to the way a hand slides across a soapy tit. That's the whole story.

The leveling here is not XP bars or skill trees, it is the speed slider. Three notches, slow medium fast, and each one changes the animation loop enough that you feel like you are switching gears on a machine. Eva is the machine. Blonde, anime face, tits that bounce with a physics engine that is just slightly too floaty, like someone turned gravity down to 70 percent. You pick blowjob, doggystyle, or cowgirl. That is the whole menu. No story, no dialogue, no unlockable outfits. Just her, a bed, and a cumshot toggle that lets you decide when the scene ends.

The blowjob is the weakest. Her head bobs but the mouth never quite lines up with the shaft, so you get this uncanny gap where the tip should be. Doggystyle is better, the ass recoil has a nice snap to it, and the sound of skin slapping is actually layered over the loop instead of just one flat sample. Cowgirl is where the game remembers it is supposed to be a sex simulator. Her hips roll in a figure eight when you push the speed to max, and the cum option triggers a facial that lands on her cheek and drips down to her collarbone. That detail, the drip, is the only thing that feels hand animated.

I wish there was a fourth position. Or a second girl. Or even a background that was not just a gray void with a bed floating in it. But the game is called Evas, not Eva and Friends, so I guess that is the point. The cumshot in doggystyle is weird too, it just appears on her back like a sticker, no arc or buildup. For a browser game it loads fast and does not crash, which is more than I can say for half the eroge on itch.io. The speed slider is the real progression system, and once you find the rhythm that syncs with the sound loop, you stop noticing the missing frames. Then you finish, close the tab, and forget her name until next time.

The whole thing runs on pure id, like someone spilled a can of Surge into a Newgrounds flash portal and let it ferment for fifteen years. You get the IRS joke, right? I Rape j00r asS. Forkheadsteam really said we're doing this, and Lime just nodded and hit upload. The midgets in trench coats and fedoras assault you. That's the plot. That's the whole setup, and honestly, it's more coherent than half the visual novels I've localized where the translator clearly used Google Translate and prayer.

The sex kitten herself is a furry disaster with tits that defy both physics and good taste, and her entire personality is Slutty McSlut, which is literally her name. I spent a good minute just clicking through dialogue options that all lead to the same degenerate outcome. The humor lands somewhere between a 2006 forum signature and a shitpost that got way too much budget. There's a scene where she's just... there, being aggressively lewd, and the game doesn't even try to animate it smoothly. It's jerky, it's unpolished, and it's perfect. I wish the sound design had more crunch, maybe a wet slap effect or something, but it's silent as a church except for the screaming in my own head.

The bug fix note at the bottom of the description is the real chef's kiss. Some game breaking glitch got patched, which means someone actually cared enough to go back into this spaghetti code and un-fuck it. Respect. The whole thing feels like a time capsule from when hentai games were just unapologetic filth with anime faces stretched over jpeg artifacts. If you need a coherent story or, god forbid, gameplay, you're already lost. This is for the sickos who remember what the internet smelled like before everything got sanitized. The furry tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting, but the big tits tag is doing even more. I clicked through, I laughed, I felt my brain cells commit seppuku one by one. Worth it.

Kasumi from Dead or Alive, right. The one with the short brown hair and the... yeah. This isn't a game game. It's a browser thing where you click her clothes off. A dress-up in reverse. The art is that specific brand of anime where the tits have their own gravitational pull, you know the style. Her face looks a bit off though, like someone traced it from memory after a night of heavy drinking. The left eye is doing its own thing, a little adventure in facial geography.

The whole point is to get her naked and then there's this purple vibrator. It just appears. No animation of her picking it up or anything, it just materializes in the air and then you click and it's inside her. The sound effect for that is a stock squelch that I swear I've heard in a mobile game about farming. The vibrator doesn't move unless you drag it, so you're just sort of wiggling this static purple cylinder over a static pussy. The physics, if you can call it that, are non-existent. Her expression doesn't change at all, same vacant half-smile the whole time, even when you're... you know. It's like she's thinking about her grocery list. I spent a weird amount of time trying to perfectly align the vibrator, getting it just right, which is a sentence I never thought I'd type. The background is just a grey void. Nothing else. No menu, no other characters, just Kasumi and her one-eyed stare and the void. It's so stripped down it almost becomes abstract, a pure meditation on the act of clicking a thing onto another thing. The whole experience lasts maybe two minutes and then you close the tab and feel a strange, hollow nothing.