The whole thing feels like a pizza that’s been left out too long, you know? Still technically edible, still got that greasy pull, but the cheese is cold and the crust has gone weirdly soft. It starts with this long, rambling movie clip, all bright colors and that specific 80s cartoon energy, and the turtles are just talking, talking, talking. The dirty language is there, sure, but it’s delivered with the pacing of a Sunday morning cartoon where nobody’s had their coffee yet. I kept waiting for the orgy to pop off and instead I’m watching a slideshow with voice acting that sounds like someone reading a grocery list in a vaguely horny tone.

Then the actual foursome scene hits and it’s a mess, a total bukkake fever dream that feels like it was animated by someone who only vaguely remembers what human bodies do. April, the redhead, is just sort of… there, a focal point for a lot of pixelated fluid. The handjob mechanics are almost non-existent, you just click and something happens, I think. I wish there was a way to control the pace, to make the cumshot feel earned instead of like a sudden weather event, but that’s clearly not what this is. It’s a single, unpolished blast of a very specific fantasy, and if you’re not already deep into the idea of the Ninja Turtles getting freaky, you’ll just be confused. Like, why is Donatello’s staff just floating there? Never mind.

I went in expecting some elaborate corruption of a childhood memory, maybe a slow descent into madness. What I got was a weirdly hypnotic loop of grunting and splattering. The replayability is zero unless you have a very particular itch that only this exact shade of green can scratch. It’s less a game and more a single, unskippable cutscene from someone’s personal id. I can’t even call it bad, it’s too singular for that. It’s like finding a weird, sticky VHS tape in a sewer grate. You watch it, you feel a bit grimy, and then you forget what you were talking about. The whole thing just ends, no climax to the pacing, just a sudden stop, like the pizza guy finally showed up.

The first click is free, they said. Fifty thousand clicks later, my wrist hurts and April O'Neil is half naked on my screen, giving me that look from the cartoon but dirtier. This is Feodosiy's unfinished alpha, a TMNT parody clicker that knows exactly what it's doing. You click on April. She loses clothes. I'm a simple man with a growing GIF collection.

Somewhere around click two hundred, I started wondering if my mouse was going to break. Then I didn't care because her bra vanished. The big tits tag isn't lying, and the redhead model hits that uncanny valley spot between nostalgic cartoon and late night browser history. You're not supposed to fall in love with a clicker game's placeholder art but here I am, screenshotting frames like they're rare pokemon cards.

I wish there were more heroines already. The description promises new April emotions, new poses, new items, other characters, but right now it's just her. You'll hit a wall eventually where the clicking feels less like progress and more like tendonitis. The undress mechanic is basic. You click, a counter goes up, and she strips in stages. No final nude state yet in this build, which honestly feels like edging without the payoff. Three screenshots I keep coming back to. First, that moment her shirt rides up just enough to see the curve underneath. Second, the expression she makes during the bra removal sequence, somewhere between surprised and inviting. Third, the idle frame after everything stops, where she just... waits. Something about that last one. It whispers "come back tomorrow" in a way that makes me angry and excited at the same time.

April O'Neil getting railed by a turtle. Not the cartoon I grew up with but honestly? The one I needed.

This thing is rough around the edges in a way that actually works for it. The art style has that deliberately sketchy quality, like someone's private notebook drawings that got out of hand. April's design leans hard into the redhead bombshell thing, freckles and all, and the parody elements are just recognizable enough to avoid copyright lawyers while still hitting that nostalgia button. The domination angle is front and center, she's not exactly calling the shots here, and the whole setup feels like a fever dream from someone who watched too much Saturday morning TV as a kid and then discovered pornhub.

The animation loops are janky but in a charming way? Like watching a flipbook made by a horny teenager. There's this one sequence where the positioning shifts and suddenly anatomy makes no sense whatsoever. I laughed. Then I kept watching. The sound design is basically nonexistent which is probably a mercy given what some of these parody games try to do with voice acting. Remember that awful Mario parody from like 2015? This avoids that disaster entirely by just... not trying.

The patreon integration is aggressive. Every few scenes there's a reminder to vote for new heroines and I'm sitting there thinking about what other childhood cartoon characters could get this treatment. Splinter? No. Please no. But also maybe? The game knows exactly what it is and doesn't pretend otherwise. It's a quick hit of wrongness that somehow feels right. The build updates are frequent enough that the creator clearly gives a shit, which is more than I can say for half the abandoned projects on itch.io.

I forgot to mention the actual gameplay. There isn't much. You click, things happen, April makes faces. That's it. That's the review.

April is a mess here, in the best and worst way possible. She is that kind of redhead you remember from the cartoon, but this time she is not running around with a mic, chasing news. She is the news. The game just throws her into this dirty little “exclusive interview” with Rocksteady and Bebop, like the channel lost its moral department a long time ago. No slow buildup, no fake romance, no cheesy “I love you, April.” It is more like: she needs a big story, they need to unload, and everybody kind of pretends this is professional. On the surface she is still the strong reporter who wants her scoop, but the way she drops on her knees tells you the story was never the point. Watching her wrap those big tits around a cock while asking “for a statement” is the kind of stupid joke that somehow works when you are already one hand in your pants.

What surprised me is how blunt the game is about power. There is this one scene where Rocksteady has her pinned between him and Bebop, and April is half moaning, half trying to play it like she is still in control, asking them questions like it is a regular interview. It looks almost sad, like she really believes she is calling the shots, while they are using her throat like a toy and just ignoring whatever she says. The threesome stuff gets rough, but not in that fake romantic porn way where everyone is magically in love and comes at the same time with perfect lighting. She gets spit on, makeup running, cock slapping across her face while she still holds the mic like a prop, and for a second it feels too real, then suddenly it turns silly again when she tries to keep her “on air” voice while giving a sloppy blowjob. I liked that, then immediately hated it, because it teases something darker and then runs back into goofy fanservice. You get this long handjob scene where she strokes one mutant while sucking the other, and the camera insists on showing her trying to smile for a camera that is not even there. They blast her with cumshots like they are jealous of each other, covering her hair, lips, tits, the mic, everything, but she still acts like she can spin this into a heroic story. She cannot. And that is why it works: there is no happy ending, just a sticky one, and the game knows she will come back for “more material” next time because that is the only way this version of April knows how to keep her job.

The animation chops along like a flipbook made by someone who just discovered the clone stamp tool. You know what you're here for. Donatello, specifically that version from the newer cartoon people keep memeing about, is going to town on what I guess is April O'Neil. She's making that face. The one where the eyes cross a little and the tongue does that weird spasm thing. The audio is a war crime, a single loop of wet slapping that desyncs halfway through, but nobody's here for the foley work.

The whole setup feels like someone ripped a character model from a Source Filmmaker session that got abandoned in 2012. His cock is this absurd pink club, no subtlety at all, just a magenta battering ram. April's just there, a prop with jiggle physics that feel like they were dialed in by someone angry. I was trying to figure out why Donnie's shell clips through her thigh in a way that makes no anatomical sense, and then the loop just restarts without warning. No climax, no transition, just a hard cut back to frame one. It's so aggressively unpolished it circles back to being mesmerizing. Like watching a gif on a forum in 2006 where you had to squint past the pixelation to see the good stuff.

Scrolling past the other TMNT parodies on the platform, this one has a specific kind of deranged energy. I wish the sound wasn't so aggressively terrible, like someone recording a leaky faucet while chewing. It won't be fixed. The whole thing exists as this artifact of pure id, a crude drawing on a bathroom stall that someone decided to animate. Forgot to mention the blowjob tag. It's there