Lockdown Incest Simulator. Yeah, that's the actual name. My leaderboard brain sees that and immediately starts calculating the degeneracy per pixel ratio. It's off the charts. You're Ian, some dude living with his mom and sisters who apparently just exist to verbally shred you. Then the state, in its infinite wisdom, decides to legalize incest right as another lockdown hits. The setup is so blunt it wraps back around to being hilarious.

The art is... look, it's deliberately rough. Like someone learned to draw yesterday and their first project was a MILF with tits bigger than her head. Mom's model has this permanent thousand-yard stare that makes every scene feel like she's dissociating, which honestly adds to the weird humiliation vibe. The sisters are these pixelated gremlins who oscillate between calling you pathetic and, well, the other thing. The sandbox structure means you just click around the house triggering events, and the "male domination" path is basically a power fantasy for people who've never had a real conversation. You can also go full femdom and become the family's little footstool. The trap tag is there too, one of the sisters isn't what you'd expect, and the game handles it with all the subtlety of a brick through a window.

The mobile port is a disaster. Buttons overlap, text runs off screen, and I swear the "masturbation" minigame is just a test of patience against unresponsive hitboxes. I spent ten minutes trying to align a single tap. Ten minutes. And the humor? It's accidental. The writing is so earnest about its absurd premise that you can't help but laugh when Mom gives a deadpan monologue about the new family laws while her character model clips through the kitchen table. I wish there was more actual sandbox, more reactivity, but it's basically a linear clicker with extra steps. The incest theme is the whole point, no dancing around it, and the game's complete lack of polish somehow makes it more memorable than half the shiny 3D titles I've ranked this month.

Man, this game hit me like a truck full of horny energy drinks. Lincoln's just trying to do some spooky ritual stuff and BAM - suddenly he's got a sex demon riding shotgun in his brain, literally sucking the life out of him unless he can get his dick wet with Leni, his ridiculously hot crush. It's like every harem anime premise rolled into one messy ball of supernatural horniness, except instead of being the chosen one with a magic sword, you're the chosen one with a magic boner that might actually kill you if you don't use it right.

The whole setup screams "I watched too much ecchi anime and decided to make it interactive" but honestly? That's not necessarily a bad thing. You've got Leni with those massive tits that defy several laws of physics, Luna rocking that punk aesthetic with an ass that could stop traffic, and Rita being the classic MILF landlord who's probably way too understanding about late rent payments. The demon possession angle gives Lincoln this weird confidence boost where he can actually talk to women without stuttering, which leads to some genuinely funny moments between all the groping and handjob scenes. The ahegao faces when things get intense are pretty well done too - not gonna lie, Luna's O-face when you're fingering her while she's trying to maintain that tough punk attitude is chef's kiss material.

What gets me though is how the game actually tries to have Lincoln worry about hurting people with his newfound powers. Like bro, you're literally possessed by a sex demon and you're concerned about emotional damage? The cognitive dissonance is real but somehow it works because it makes the whole thing feel less *** and more like "oh shit, I have supernatural charisma now but at what cost?" The point and click mechanics are straightforward enough - click on the right body parts, advance the story, try not to die from demon drain. Nothing revolutionary but it gets the job done when you're trying to navigate between Luna's sarcastic comments and Rita's motherly concern while your demon passenger is basically screaming "FUCK SOMETHING NOW OR WE DIE."

So I'm Marnie, right, and usually I'm all serious and brooding in Spikemuth, but this... thing happened. Some guy, a "hero" apparently, shows up and suddenly the whole world's logic just melts. You know that one Mewscarada who's always doing those smug little flourishes? She's on her knees in the tall grass within five minutes, making sounds I didn't think grass types could make. The animation's stiff as a board, like someone posed action figures and called it a day, but somehow that makes it dirtier. It's all glossy 3DCG with textures that look like they're from a 2007 mobile game, and the sound design is basically just one wet squelch looped forever.

But then there's this whole thing with Sonia. She's supposed to be researching, right, but she's just bent over a desk with her massive tits out while the protagonist does that thing where he just... stands there. Like a mannequin. The game has no transitions, you just click and suddenly Lopunny is doing a titfuck and the camera's having a seizure. I spent way too long watching Jessie from Team Rocket get railed against a tree while the background music was this eight-second loop of something that might've been a battle theme. It's not good, it's barely a game, but I kept clicking. The "adventure" is just a slideshow of every monster girl and MILF from the franchise getting filled with creampies, and the male protagonist never says a word. Just a blank slate with a cock.

There's a moment with Hilda doing a handjob that cuts to a voyeur scene with Misty watching from a bush, and the whole thing is so janky it loops back around to hypnotic. Like, why is Gardevoir's mouth not moving during the oral sex scene? Why does the fantasy tag even exist when it's just Pokemon but horny? I don't know. I don't care. The replay value is zero because you've seen it all in ten minutes, but I've already gone back three times. Something's wrong with me. Or the game. Both.

Thanksgiving in this game starts with a talking turkey giving you attitude and somehow ends with you getting a titjob from a sorceress milf who could probably crush your skull with her thighs. The whole thing feels like the dev woke up, opened three tabs of Disney porn, some World of Warcraft fanart, one Skullgirls subreddit thread, and said: “Yes. This. All of this.” You play as this smug, cocky magic adventurer who is supposed to help with a magical feast, but you immediately stop caring about food the moment you realize literally every woman in Enchantia has breasts that look like they were designed by a teenage boy with too much free time and a DeviantArt account. One second you are trying to collect ingredients, next second you are getting groped by a drunk fairy who thinks your dick is a magic wand and keeps “testing its charges” while you pretend to be offended and still click every dialogue option that clearly leads to handjob territory.

The cast is just pure fanservice soup and my horny brain did not complain. You bump into a draenei-style priestess with glowing eyes and a holy staff, and let me tell you, that staff is not the only thing that gets blessed. There is a milf innkeeper who has big aunt Cass energy, like if Aunt Cass and Dexters Mom had a crossover episode where the moral lesson is “learn to share your cock.” The game keeps tossing references at you: a snarky shadow girl with Midna vibes who bends over the table a lot, a pale demon nymph with skull-themed accessories that really scream Skullgirls, a ninja chick that lowkey feels like she escaped from a League of Legends splash art and said “ok, where is the nearest dick.” None of this is subtle, but subtlety is illegal here anyway. The art is animated, pretty lively, and sometimes the faces look a little cursed in motion, yet when she is riding you and her tits are bouncing in rhythm, you suddenly forgive every weird frame like a simp.

Actual gameplay is this weird mix of sandbox wandering, point and click scenes, and these goofy turn based combat bits where you either smack goblins around or get clothes torn off your party members. You cast a spell, you take a hit, her armor rips, you pretend you are trying to win but secretly take one extra turn just to see more skin. The sex scenes themselves ramp up from teasing to full filth pretty fast; one fairy spends three dialogue boxes just edging you with hand stuff and dirty talk, then suddenly she is on her knees, drooling over your shaft, and you are choosing between oral finish, titfuck, or going straight to vaginal while she uses a glowing crystal toy on herself. There is this one scene with a “helpful” older witch, total milf with thick hips, where she offers you a “fertility blessing” and it turns into anal on a wooden chair while she keeps scolding you like a strict aunt, and honestly, that did things to me I am not proud of. The only thing that annoyed me was one tiny text bubble spelling “voyerism” during a scene where you watch two monster girls go at it behind a magic mirror, and now my brain repeats that word every time I open Twitter, but whatever. By the time you are juggling fairies, demon girls, and one princess type who looks suspiciously like she escaped from a Frozen parody and wants to “warm your stuffing,” you will completely forget you were supposed to be helping with a Thanksgiving dinner at all, which, honestly, is the most realistic thing in the whole game.

This thing drops you right in the dirty backstreets of a kinda Asgar-looking slum, like someone took Midgar, squished it, and then forgot to clean the corners. You’re not playing some legendary hero on a big mission, you’re poking around alleys, clicking stuff that probably smells like piss and oil, and suddenly you bump into Tiffa in a way that feels too casual for how much skin you end up seeing later. It’s a point & click setup, so you’re not mashing buttons, you’re just slowly peeling the scene open, one click at a time, like undressing the city before you undress anyone else. Half the time you’re just moving the cursor around like, “okay, what did the dev hide here,” and then boom, it’s some horny little event that looks like an AI tried to remember what Final Fantasy 7 porn looked like on old forums.

Tiffa is kinda the star and kinda the victim of the whole vibe. She’s recognizable enough that every FF7 brain cell in your head lights up, but the art’s that AI CG mix where sometimes her face is perfect and sometimes it looks like she’s thinking of a different game entirely. The tits though, holy shit, the generator was really like “yes, this, bigger.” You wander into a narrow alley, some thug-type guy corners her, and your choices are all little nudges on how far she goes, like testing her “moral integrity” while you pretend you’re making deep ethical decisions with one hand. One path she tries to stay classy and you keep her skirt mostly down, another she’s pressed against a wall, tits out, city light catching every sweaty curve. There’s a moment where she has to walk back out to the street with her clothes all messed up and people staring. That public shame hit is kinda brutal and kinda hot, depending how cooked your brain is.

Aerith floats in and out too, not in some big holy savior way, more like the game going “yeah we know why you clicked this.” You get little scenes with her where the romance tone pretends to be soft, then the camera just forgets all modesty and starts worshipping her chest and thighs anyway. There’s one bit where you swap viewpoint, male to female, like you’re in his head, then in her head, and the whole thing gets this weird horny empathy. You’re watching her get exposed in front of strangers, but you’re also the dude half-causing it, and then the AI art is like “what if we add more shine to the nipples,” and subtlety dies on the spot. Some of the fingers look cursed if you stare too long, some backgrounds blur weird, and I swear the lighting on Tiffa’s ass changes mid-scene, but once you’re in that click-next-event rhythm, you just roll with it, like scrolling way too far down a rule34 tag and only realizing later you went past your limit three scenes ago.

It begins like one of those weird dreams you don’t want to wake up from, half sweet, half sticky. The catgirl just looks at you with those glossy eyes, her tail doing that twitchy dance, and you get this dumb grin before you even realize the story is supposed to have “plot.” I don’t even care about the government thing that’s happening in the background, it’s like watching an ad between porn clips. The real thing here is how alive she feels when she moves - there’s this jitter in her shoulders, the soft bounce that’s almost too much. Then she says something naive and horny at once, and I swear the screen feels warmer. You press one dialogue choice, and suddenly she’s straddling you, purring, her voice cracking in that half-anime, half-real way. It’s ridiculous. It’s perfect.

What’s strange is how it tries to pretend it’s wholesome one minute, then goes full filth the next. Like, she’s feeding you breakfast, you think “aww, this is cute,” and two clicks later she’s begging to be filled up like a pastry. The transitions are janky, but that’s part of the charm - like watching someone blush and stutter before making a move. Sometimes the physics go haywire and her boobs do this weird rubbery motion that’s completely unrealistic… and somehow still hot. I won’t lie, the titfuck animation caught me off guard. It’s too good. The kind of good that makes you feel guilty for liking it. I tried to tell myself I was there for the story, but when she moans with that little ahegao face, my brain just shuts off.

There’s this one scene - she’s wearing cosplay because you “asked her nicely” (the game’s words, not mine) - and the camera lingers in a way that feels almost accidental, like the devs didn’t mean to make it that intimate. It’s raw, messy, full of breathing sounds that don’t line up perfectly with the motion. That’s the thing though, it feels human. Imperfect, horny, a bit awkward. Like the game knows exactly what you’re doing while you play, and it’s winking at you for it.

Right, so the loading screen is literally just a jpeg of Kitty Pryde with her tits out. Not even a good jpeg, looks like it was compressed by a potato. And I'm sitting there thinking, okay, this is the level we're at. The whole thing runs in a browser and feels like a Flash game that escaped from 2006. You click around a barely drawn mansion, and the first "puzzle" is just clicking on Jean Grey's ass until a bar fills up. I spent way too long on that. Not because it was hard, but because the animation loop was so janky it became hypnotic. Her spine does something that physics shouldn't allow.

The premise is you're some new mutant and your power is apparently making every woman in the X-Mansion instantly DTF. It's a sandbox, so you just wander into rooms and there's Storm, looking like she's about to critique your life choices before a dialogue box pops up with "I need your... help with something." And then it's a handjob scene. The writing is this glorious trainwreck of broken English where Rogue's accent is spelled out phonetically in a way that feels like a hate crime against the state of Mississippi. There's a "corruption" mechanic that's just a number that goes up. No idea what it does. Maybe it unlocks the monster girl version of Mystique? I don't know, I got distracted by the fact that the "big ass" tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting for a character model that's just three circles.

The harem management is nonexistent. You just collect them. There's a rogue-like element? I think? Sometimes a sentinel shows up and you have to click on it, but failing just sends you back to the main menu with no punishment. The real challenge is not closing the tab when Emma Frost's dialogue starts looping. But then the Milf tag kicks in with a surprisingly detailed scene with Mystique and... look, the artist definitely had a favorite. The proportions are absurd. Like, medically concerning. And the teasing mechanic is just edging a meter. It's so on the nose it wraps back around to being art. I hate that I want to see if the redhead version of Jean Grey has different scenes. Probably not. The game is a mess. I'm going back in.

You know what actually made me laugh? The combat stances. Wonder Woman doing her arms crossed thing while the game tells me to use "dick powers." Not even joking. My phone almost went flying when I snorted.

I spent most of Tuesday avoiding work playing this on Itch.io through my phone browser, which felt appropriately grimy. The dev clearly spent all their energy on certain scenes and then just slapped the rest together. Batgirl gets this weirdly detailed corruption arc where she goes from "I'll never submit" to something involving tentacles and multiple penetration faster than my last Tinder date unmatched me. Supergirl's oral scenes have more animation frames than the entire tutorial section. Priorities, I guess.

Look I'm not gonna sit here and pretend the whole male domination power fantasy thing is revolutionary storytelling. You pick a villain dude, you fight DC heroines, you corrupt them. Rinse, repeat, add more tentacles. The teasing and humiliation mechanics are basically pressing a button and watching a bar fill up while they call you names. Sometimes the game forgets which position it showed you last and everything clips through everything else. But then that one group sex scene with the whole Justice League hits and suddenly my complaints feel petty. The creampie animations have this crude, almost spiteful energy to them, like the artist was working through something. BDSM elements show up randomly like the game remembered halfway through that people are into that. The monster encounters are just. Something. I don't know why they're there but I'm not complaining.

The groping minigame though. C'mon. At least make the hitboxes match the 2DCG art.

Game feels like it was made by a horny engineer who opened Blender, watched two YouTube tutorials, said “good enough” and then spent all the rest of the time tuning jiggle physics and blowjob angles. Honestly kind of respect that. You’re the usual clueless dude MC, but the whole thing is less about you and more about how these women basically treat you like a walking sex stress toy with a pulse and bad decision making. That “totally not a witch” girl with the gadgets? She is the real main character, no question. She smiles at you once and suddenly you’re in a basement with glowing runes, some weird device on your crotch, and her saying “just a small test” while your dick is already leaking hard enough to count as weather.

The fun part, at least for someone like me who chases every little “challenge” like a degenerate speedrunner, is how the scenes kind of escalate by accident. You start with what looks like normal teasing, hand stroking over your pants, soft gropes on her ridiculous boobs while she pretends to be shy. Then it jumps straight into “ok, now drink her milk or this machine keeps edging you” territory. The lactation stuff hits really fast and they don’t treat it like some “special fetish route”, it’s just there, casual as fuck. One moment she’s sitting on your lap, tits almost bigger than your head, sucking your tongue, and then she grabs her own nipple and shoves it into your mouth like it’s the most normal snack in the world. And because of the 3D style, the way the drops run down and smear on her skin looks filthy in a satisfying way, not “artist trying to be classy” way.

What I kept doing, like an idiot, was reloading saves to try different choices to see which ones net me more “points” in my own personal brain leaderboard. There’s a blowjob variation where she uses some gadget that shrinks you just a bit, not full ant-size, but enough that her mouth and tongue feel massive. That pseudo giantess angle slapped me harder than I expected. She presses you against her lips, you watch her tongue slide up your shaft like a wet muscle wall, and she laughs because you’re barely holding it together. It feels humiliating and hot, like you’re a toy she’s testing for durability. Of course the game pretends there’s romance behind it, little soft moments where the other girl cuddles you after you’ve just painted her face white, but honestly they both bully you in different flavors. I like it, then sometimes I hate it, then I click “next” anyway. There is this one stupid sound effect in a masturbation scene that drives me crazy every single time, like some cheap plastic noise that doesn’t match the animation at all, and I keep waiting for them to fix it, but they never do.