Finally someone remembered Android 18 has more than just a pretty face and those impossible blue eyes. The whole flash animation is basically a single position, her working that cock between her cheeks with this bored expression that somehow makes it hotter. Like she's doing taxes but also making you lose your mind. The assjob mechanics are simple, click to change speed or angle, but honestly I just let it loop while she grinds. Her butt gets this nice shine effect when things get going.

The breast expansion thing threw me off at first. Not my kink usually, but watching them bounce while she moves, it works in that exaggerated DBZ way. Whoever animated this understood physics or at least the physics of hentai. The guy is just a torso with a monster dick, probably meant to be Vegeta given the build but who cares really. His grunts are way too loud in the mix though, like dude we get it you're having a good time but maybe shut up so I can hear her little gasps. The sound design overall is a mess, her moans cut off weird sometimes and there's this looping squelch that gets annoying fast.

Wish there was a way to zoom in on her face when she actually smirks. That happens maybe twice in the whole animation and it's the best part, this tiny crack in the ice queen act. The loading screen takes forever too, thought my browser crashed the first time. But for what it is, a quick and dirty DBZ parody that knows exactly which assets to focus on, it delivers. Just don't expect any plot or dialogue beyond grunts. And maybe keep the volume low unless you want your neighbors thinking you're watching something with a very enthusiastic plumber.

The first time you get a fatality in this it's not a spine rip, it's a... well. Sonia's on her knees and there's this weird moment where the animation loops wrong, her hair clips through her shoulder and I laughed but also didn't close the tab. The stroke mechanic is just mouse movement, back and forth, and I don't know why they mapped it to the same sensitivity as a fighting game input because my wrist started hurting. Mortal Kombat fans will notice the costume is like the MK3 one but the blue is slightly off, more cyan, and the belt buckle is missing entirely.

The deepthroat scene unlocks after you fill some invisible meter and the sound design is just wet noises layered over the arena music. You know the one. The techno-ish track from the original movie that plays in your head when you're trying to focus on something else. I kept expecting Scorpion to show up and yell GET OVER HERE but it's just Sonia and this disembodied... thing. The cumshot physics are honestly more realistic than the blood in MK1, which is saying something because the blood in MK1 was basically red confetti.

I wish there was a block button. Not for gameplay reasons, just... sometimes you want to see what happens if you don't engage, right? But the game just waits. Patiently. The blonde hair detail is actually pretty good when it's not clipping, individual strands and everything, which makes the clipping more annoying because you can see the effort that went into the parts that work. The embarrassment meter is a lie by the way, it doesn't matter what you do, it fills at the same rate. I tested it. Three times.

I clicked the wrong tentacle like seventeen times before I figured out the rhythm. My first run was a disaster, Samus kept blasting me into pixel dust and I'm sitting there thinking, this is supposed to be the power fantasy? I'm the monster here. But no, the blonde bounty hunter in that blue suit just keeps dodging and I'm fumbling between attack and defend like some kind of idiot octopus.

The whole thing is this weird turn based chase where you're the tentacle creature trying to catch Samus Aran. You click to lash out with a tentacle, then you gotta pick which one to guard with, then hit attack again. It's clunky. Deliberately clunky maybe? The art looks like someone drew it during a lunch break, all rough lines and weird proportions, but honestly that's part of the charm. It's not trying to be polished. It's trying to be horny and it succeeds at that.

Once you finally strip her armor off piece by piece, the sex scenes unlock and they're... look, they're explicit. No fade to black nonsense. Tentacles doing what tentacles do in these games, wrapping around, exploring, the whole deal. The animations are janky but somehow that makes it hotter? Like finding a dirty sketchbook instead of a glossy magazine. I wish there was more variety in the scenes though. After the third capture it starts feeling samey and I caught myself just clicking through to see if anything new would happen. It didn't.

The chase mechanic itself is actually kind of tense once you get the timing down. There's this moment where you've got her suit damaged and you're one hit away but she's charging her cannon and you have to decide, do I attack or defend? I yelled at my screen once. Not proud of it. The game's basically a browser based Metroid parody that knows exactly what it is and doesn't apologize. Just don't expect Nintendo quality. Or any quality really. But that's not why you're here is it.

I keep thinking about the shower scene. Not because it's hot, it's actually kind of awkward, but because that's where everything starts. You wake up, head pounding, and there's a blonde just standing there in your bathroom like she owns the place. No memory of how she got there. No memory of anything really. The game doesn't explain much, just drops you into this hungover detective story where you're the mystery.

The blonde has big tits, obviously. That's not a complaint, just stating facts. What's weird is how the game treats nudity like it's no big deal. Characters just... exist without clothes sometimes. Not in a creepy way, more like the world forgot to render their outfits and nobody cares. I spent twenty minutes wandering the city trying to piece together last night, talking to girls who definitely know more than they're saying. The dialogue choices actually matter, which surprised me. Pick the wrong thing and you miss entire scenes. I had to replay a section three times because I kept pissing off this one character by being too direct. She'd just walk away and that thread was gone.

The art style is rough. Like someone drew it on their phone during lunch breaks. But somehow that makes the explicit stuff hit different? When a character finally gets naked after all that awkward conversation, it feels earned in a way that polished porn games never do. The story keeps dangling these fragments of memory, and honestly I still don't know what happened that night. Maybe I missed a key choice somewhere. The quest structure is loose, almost too loose, I wandered into areas that clearly weren't meant for early game and the difficulty just spikes without warning. But that blonde from the shower keeps showing up, and every time she does I learn something new about what I might have done. Or not done. The game loves leaving you uncertain.

Ok so you know that feeling when you open a game and the art style hits you like a truck, but not in a good way? Like someone traced over a flash animation from 2006 and then just... gave up on the faces halfway through. That's the vibe here. Princess Amalia, the blonde one from Wakfu, is just lying in bed like a lump, and her servant Evangelyne decides the best alarm clock is some hardcore cunnilingus. Fair enough, I've had worse mornings.

The tongue work starts off decent, got that wet sound and everything, but then Amalia loses control of her nature powers or whatever and summons these big green tentacles. And I mean, they just appear. No buildup, no sexy shimmer, just *bloop* there they are. One second it's a soft yuri wake-up call, the next it's a double penetration gangbang with plant monsters. The pacing is like a microwave dinner, frozen in the middle and lava on the edges. Evangelyne gets tossed around, her blonde ponytail clipping through her own shoulder the whole time, which I complained about to my cat and he didn't care either.

The cumshot at the end is ridiculous. Like a fire hydrant of goo that covers both girls completely. A facial so massive it looks like they lost a fight with a ghost. The pussy and anal action is explicit, no fade to black, which I respect. But the animation loops are so stiff. Amalia's masturbation scene before the tentacles is just the same three frames of her hand moving. I've seen more fluid motion in a flipbook drawn on a sticky note pad. Still, if you're here for lesbian cartoon debauchery with zero pretense, it delivers the sticky mess it promises. Just don't expect the characters to look like they do in the actual show. Evangelyne's face during the anal part is... a choice. A haunted choice.

The animation loop is basically a single pov shot, Samus on her knees, those huge tits wrapped around a cock that’s supposed to be yours. It’s not a game game, more like a fidget toy for your dick. You pick an outfit, the zero suit or the classic blue, or just go fully nude, and then you control the cumshot. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. The customization for the money shot is weirdly granular, you can drag a slider to make the ropes comically long, like physics defying anime goo, and pick where it lands. I spent an embarrassing amount of time just seeing if I could paint her entire visor white. You can.

The model for Samus is... fine. It’s unpolished in that specific Source Filmmaker way, where the skin looks a bit like shiny plastic and the hair doesn’t move right. Her expression is locked in this permanent, vacant stare that doesn’t change, which is a little off putting if you look at it too long. But the animation of the boobjob itself is smooth, a steady rhythmic motion that loops cleanly. The sound is just a wet, repetitive squelch. No voice acting, no moans, just that sound on a loop. It gets hypnotic after a minute, or maybe that’s just the blood leaving your brain.

I wish there was a button to change the pace, or maybe a different angle. Just one. Staring at the exact same frame for the whole session feels like a missed opportunity, especially for a character who’s all about scanning visors and morph balls. Where’s the creativity? You’re telling me a Chozo powered suit and the best we can do is a static camera? But I guess that’s not the point. The point is the slider that lets you absolutely drench her. It’s a one handed experience, perfect for a quick alt tab session when you’re supposed to be doing something else. Just don’t expect a deep exploration of the Metroid lore.

The whole thing is a slider. One slider. You push it left, you push it right, and Ino Yamanaka from Naruto is there, blonde hair and that outfit, getting fucked outdoors against some trees. The animation loops but it's tied to how fast you wiggle this switch back and forth. I spent way too long trying to find the rhythm, like when you're trying to get the perfect swirl in one of those shitty mobile cooking games but instead of frosting you're building up a pleasure meter while a stress gauge creeps up like a passive aggressive coworker.

The stress mechanic is what gets me. You have to stop moving before it hits 100% or everything resets or something, I don't know, I kept failing because I'd zone out watching the animation stutter and hitch. The game calls itself a simulator and honestly that's generous. It's more like a fidget toy with a cumshot at the end. The final animation unlocks when you fill the pleasure bar and it's fine, it's what you'd expect, big finish, the usual hentai money shot, but getting there feels like operating a manual transmission with your mouse hand cramping up.

I wish there was more to do with Ino specifically. She's just... there. No dialogue, no expressions changing, just the same loop until you hit the goal. The outdoor setting is barely a setting, some green blobs and brown shapes. For a game tagged with "fuck simulator" and "sex simulator" it's remarkably unsexy in how mechanical it feels. Like operating a pump. Which I guess is the point but still. The blonde hair physics are the most polished thing here and even that's not saying much. I kept thinking about that one flash game from 2006 where you had to click really fast to undress a character. This is that but with a slider and Naruto's mind transfer girl.

Jaina’s face is doing this thing where her eyes don’t quite track and the mascara smudges like she’s been crying but maybe that’s just the “real model” texture not loading right. Dream Job series, right, same setup, click the tasks, watch the dildo come out, except this time the pickup section is bugged and she keeps standing there in her bedroom with the same blank stare like Windows XP shutting down. I think I broke the quest progression because I touched myself during the tutorial, I dunno.

The Blonde. The Big Boobs. Listed like that, like ingredients on a cereal box that definitely isn’t nutritious. And the video clips, good lord. It’s like someone filmed a VHS tape off a 2004 flip phone and then ran it through a blender with a bag of gravel. That’s probably the aesthetic? “Deliberately unpolished” is the theme of this whole rant, and baby, this game is a whole unvarnished floor you get splinters from. You click the scene and it makes a sound like a dial-up modem being sacrificed. Haunting. Actually hotter than some triple-A erotic titles I’ve paid for but don’t tell my bank account.

Then she just, poof, glitched out of her own solo scene halfway through. Became a floating pair of tits for two seconds. GONE. I was laughing so hard I forgot how this connects to the other Dream Job games. There’s no point. No ending screen to validate my choices. Just a busted audio loop of a vibrator that sounds more like a distressed lawnmower. Who needs the pretty ones when this model looks at you with the dead-inside energy of someone who’s seen the backrooms and only charges 4.99 for the tour. Absolute madness. Five stars for giving me a weird nightmare.

The whole thing runs on a busted version of Renpy that chugs like a slideshow if you click too fast, and the translation is pure word salad. Sasuke Uchiha shows up in the first scene looking like he was drawn by three different people who never spoke to each other, his face slightly melting off his skull. The dialogue is stuff like "I will now purchase the woman flesh" which, okay, that's a vibe I guess. You're Naruto, but not the ninja, just some guy with yellow hair who decided pimping out Tsunade is a solid career move. No chakra, no rasengan, just pure degenerate economics.

The outdoor tag gets a workout because the entire first act takes place in a weirdly empty park where the grass texture is just a green smear. Tsunade's tits are the main character here, they have their own physics system that seems to operate on moon gravity. There's a moment where she bends over and one breast clips through her own ribcage and I just sat there staring at it. The milf energy is off the charts because she keeps calling Naruto a brat while he negotiates with a shadow clone of Sasuke. Not the real Sasuke, a clone, the game makes that very clear for some reason. The sex scenes are these looping three-frame animations that feel like someone animated a flipbook made of wet tissue paper. You click, she moans in text form, the screen shakes a little, and then Sasuke's dialogue box says "Satisfactory transaction." I laughed so hard I had to close the tab.

The pimp mechanic is literally just picking a price from a dropdown menu. 50 ryo, 100 ryo, 500 ryo. It doesn't matter what you pick, the scene plays out the same. Tsunade looks vaguely disappointed the entire time, which is probably the most accurate part of the parody. At one point her expression got stuck in a permanent state of mild surprise and it stayed that way through three consecutive scenes. I've seen more polish on a gas station hot dog. But the blonde hair rendering, I'll give them that, it's almost competent. Almost.