The cafe minigame is broken. Not in a crash to desktop way, but the coffee cup just sort of hovers near Mellisa’s mouth and then the blonde’s massive tits clip through the table. I spent way too long trying to get the pickup dialogue right, picking options that sounded like something a real person might say on a first date from an adult site. Tom, the guy you play, met her online and now he’s in this car, engine off, trying not to screw up. The whole thing has this grimy, unpolished texture that somehow makes the eventual blowjob in the vehicle feel more earned. Less like a porn clip, more like a memory you shouldn’t have.

The art is where things get weird in a way I can’t stop thinking about. Mellisa’s design is pure, absurd exaggeration. Her tits are so big they practically have their own gravitational pull, and the cumshot animation later on is less a splatter and more a declaration of intent. But her face, during the cafe bit, holds this blank expression that reads as either profound boredom or eldritch patience. Like she’s an ancient entity humoring a mortal’s clumsy ritual. I wish the minigame had more failure states that led to her just walking away. That won’t happen. The whole thing is a straight line to the car, to her mouth, to the finish.

Reminds me of that other dating sim, the one with the succubus who runs a bakery. That game had polish and a coherent color palette. This one has a raw, almost outsider-art quality. The first date setup is so mundane, a cafe, a car, a bad pickup line, that it loops back around to feeling cosmic. A shoggoth wearing a push up bra. The big boobs aren’t just a tag, they’re a central character, and the game knows you’re here for them. It doesn’t pretend otherwise. The lack of pretense is its only real strength. I just wish the coffee cup didn’t float.

Like someone took an amateur Blender animation from a decade ago and decided the jank was part of the charm. The teacher’s chest moves with a physics engine that seems personally offended by gravity, just two massive counterweights swinging with the slightest head turn. There’s a moment where she leans over a desk and one breast clips right through her blouse, the fabric stretching like taffy before the game remembers cloth is supposed to be a separate object. I laughed. Not in a mean way, either. It’s the kind of broken that makes you lean forward instead of clicking away.

The audio is a mess. The squelching sounds are mixed way too hot, like someone recorded stirring mac and cheese with a contact mic, and the student’s one repeated voice clip, a flat “Miss, yes,” cycles every eight seconds. But here’s the thing. The actual creampie scene? The way the cumshot animation just sort of sputters out, three globs that land with the weight of wet cement, then the dribble just... keeps going for an awkward ten seconds while the loop resets. I rewound it. I’m not proud. What does that say about me that this unpolished nonsense works better than the slick, over-produced renders that try too hard?

There’s no story framework. You’re just in the classroom. The loading screen is literally a black screen with the word “second” in the corner, a callback to that sequel blurb. No menus, no settings. Just this one long looping scene where you can click to change camera angles to three fixed positions, each one somehow framing the action worse than the last. My favorite is the overhead shot where the student’s head disappears through the teacher’s stomach, a bizarre Cronenberg moment in the middle of what’s supposed to be a straightforward creampie delivery.

Wish the teacher had any facial animation beyond her eyelids snapping open and shut like a doll’s. She pulls a blank stare through the entire finale, mouth fixed in a slight smile that reads less “horny” and more “customer service.” But the subtle desk creak sound loop, buried under the mess, is weirdly effective. A tiny detail that doesn’t belong in something this rough. I’ve closed it and reopened it three times now just to see the chair clipping through the floor again. The student’s leg twitches after the pop shot, a simulation glitch where his foot vibrates for a solid five seconds. Almost hypnotic. Almost art. Don’t come here for polish. Come here for the accidental performance art of an eroge engine fighting itself.

The sound design of this, what even is this, a calculator? It's the wet slap noise. It's perfect. Just this damp, almost too loud splat that repeats and there's no music, just that noise and Liara's dead-eyed stare. She just kneels there, mouth open like a broken animatronic. Press Z, mouth opens. C, closes. X to swallow, and a little number pops up. Calories. She's counting calories from your, uh, donation. It's so profoundly stupid I couldn't look away. My phone buzzed, a Discord ping from the lads, and I ignored it to give a space fossil a protein-rich snack.

The art is deliberately crusty, like a jpeg that's been tortured through a few too many saves, and her blue skin is this flat, matte color. The whole thing feels like a deviantArt flash game from a timeline that shouldn't exist. I spent ten minutes just seeing how high the number could go. It's not sexy, it's a fidget toy for your dick. The achievements pop up with that generic, bootleg game engine sound and a little "A Nice Snack" for 50 calories? The writing's on the floor. I hate that I found that funny.

Then the shift key thing. The game is case sensitive. So you're holding Shift with one hand and trying to, you know, time the rhythm with another key, and it's the worst ergonomic nightmare since that one Guitar Hero controller. My wrist actually started to hurt. And for what? To see Liara's cheek texture clip through her own collar? There's a weird delay on the swallow command too, a tiny fraction of a second where the animation just hangs, and it throws off the whole flow. It's a broken loop of a bad idea executed with the confidence of a master chef cooking a single, disgusting dish. A pure, uncut shitpost that you can interact with. I got the "Belly Full" achievement and felt a weird sense of loss.

The click of the mouse feels cheap, almost hollow, but the scene it triggers is anything but. There's this girl, right, and the betrayal is so thick you can almost taste it, like licking a battery. Sticky and sharp. Her sister's involved, her mom, and then mom's husband, a cock so big it's practically a plot point. The first time he pushes inside her, the game describes it with a wet, sucking sound effect that's actually not terrible, a real squelch that vibrates through my shitty laptop speakers. I felt it in my teeth.

The rough sex isn't a suggestion. It's the whole damn meal. Fingers digging into hips, the slap of skin, a rhythm that's frantic and mean. There's a moment during a particularly brutal scene where the girl's face contorts, a pixelated grimace that somehow sells the pussy lick she's forced to give more than any high-def render could. It's uncomfortable. I mean, it's also hot, don't get me wrong, the way the cumshot splatters across her chest later is practically a reward for enduring the tension. But it's the little things, like how the game doesn't let you skip her trembling, that make you feel like a real piece of shit for clicking next. Which I did. Repeatedly.

The pacing is like a microwave meal. Cold in the center, molten on the edges. One minute you're in a quiet, venomous conversation, the next it's a full-blown creampie scene that feels like it arrived ten minutes early. No warning. My hand on the mouse was sweating, the plastic getting slick. I kept thinking about how the game's title is some long string of numbers and letters, completely unsearchable, which is annoying. The masturbation scenes are surprisingly tactile, the slow circles described with a focus that's missing from the rest of the clunky translation. Honestly, just embrace the filth. Click on every dialogue option that seems the most cruel, that's where the real fire is. Don't bother looking for a story that makes sense, just let the texture of the bad decisions wash over you.

The unlock tracker says there's a hidden achievement for getting all four endings but honestly who cares when the test itself is so transparent. You pick your favorite tit size, hair color, whether you want her shy or aggressive, and the game goes yeah yeah here's your dream girl. The psychology tag is doing some heavy lifting here because the questions are about as deep as a puddle. Do you prefer a girl who cooks or one who plays video games. Revolutionary stuff.

The art's got that unpolished charm where the lines are a bit wobbly and the anatomy goes weird around the shoulders but the cumshot scenes deliver what they promise. One girl has this expression during the nude reveal that's supposed to be seductive but she looks like she just remembered she left the stove on. Still fapped though. The test results page tries to psychoanalyze you based on whether you picked the redhead with big tits or the brunette with bigger tits and it's genuinely funny when it tells you you're a "romantic soul seeking deep connection" after you just speedran to the hentai gallery.

Wish there was a skip button for the personality quiz part on replays but there isn't and never will be because the whole gimmick is the test. The achievement for failing on purpose is bugged, it popped when I answered honestly which says something about my taste in 2D women I guess. The game remembers your previous choices if you replay which is a nice touch for a browser thing that probably took a weekend to code. Don't expect your real relationship preferences to be revealed here unless your type is specifically "anime girl who exists solely to validate your quiz answers." The bonus content after the test is just the same scenes with different dialogue that nobody reads.

The blonde's mouth is doing that thing where it looks like she's trying to swallow a ghost while her eyes roll back, and I'm sitting here thinking about how the pickup line I used was literally "nice weather for a breakdown." That's it. That's the whole seduction. She goes from roadside stranger to throat goat because I commented on atmospheric conditions. The cumshot lands across her face like a Jackson Pollock painting if Pollock was really into one specific shade of white and honestly, the physics of it are so absurd I laughed out loud. Not complaining. Just observing.

The game is basically a slideshow with buttons. You click, she talks, you pick a response from a wheel of vaguely horny options. Miss and she gets annoyed. Hit and suddenly her top evaporates. There's no animation to speak of, just static images that change based on your dialogue choices. The art is that specific kind of unpolished where the proportions shift between scenes like the artist was drawing from memory after a concussion. One frame her tits are manageable, next frame they're planetary bodies with their own gravitational pull. I spent way too long trying to figure out if the background car was supposed to be a sedan or some kind of melted crossover. Still don't know.

The whole thing takes place in Fucktown, which is either a real place in this universe or someone just gave up on naming conventions entirely. You're a businessman coming home from a meeting, which is the most boilerplate setup imaginable, but whatever gets you to the blowjob I guess. The speech skill mechanic is there but it's shallow enough that you can brute force every encounter by just picking whatever sounds least like a restraining order waiting to happen. There's a surprising number of scenes to unlock if you're patient enough to replay the same conversation tree six times. I kept messing up one specific branch because the "right" answer was so counterintuitive it felt like the game was gaslighting me. Maybe that's the point. Maybe I'm overthinking a game where the climax is literally just a facial.

I'm giving this thing the "Most Honest Use of a Redhead's Ass" award, no contest. The whole setup is so direct it's almost performance art. You've got Reiko, this returning character who apparently has a whole career across these games, and Minda from that elf boy franchise. Except here, nobody's saving any kingdom. The first thing that hits you is how deliberately janky the UI feels, like someone coded this in a fever dream and never looked back. Clicking through menus is like navigating a spreadsheet designed by a horny ghost.

The view switching mechanic is where it gets interesting. You can flip between angles while things are happening, which sounds basic but creates this weirdly engaging rhythm. One moment you're watching a creampie from a distance, the next you're zoomed in on the aftermath dripping out. The game doesn't even try to be polished, the animations have this stop-motion quality that somehow makes everything filthier. Like watching a flipbook someone drew during detention. The cumshot physics are completely absurd, by the way. It's like a firehose. Nobody's anatomy works that way and I can't stop thinking about it.

There's this one detail with the anal scenes where the transition between positions has a split-second glitch that makes Reiko's model do something anatomically impossible. I've spent way too long trying to reproduce it. The sound design is basically nonexistent, just these wet slapping noises that cut off abruptly. Actually, the whole audio mix is a disaster, levels all over the place. But then you get this perfect angle where her red hair is splayed out and the internal view shows exactly where everything's going, and suddenly I don't care about production values at all. The game knows what it is. A delivery system for one specific fantasy, wrapped in a Legend of Zelda skin that Nintendo would sue into oblivion if they ever found this.

I keep coming back to that one image where she's still half in uniform, skirt flipped up but the top buttoned wrong, like she couldn't even be bothered to undress properly before spreading her legs. That's the thing about this collection, it's not trying to be elegant. The censorship is gone, completely, and what's left is just raw anime cunts getting wrecked in ways that feel almost too direct. The cumshot scenes are excessive in the best way, thick ropes landing on tongues and tits and inside, the artist clearly has a thing for mess and doesn't apologize for it.

The Jaina solo set though. That's where I got stuck for way too long. She's got this expression, mouth slightly open, fingers working herself while looking right at you. The uniform is still on but barely, one stocking falling down. It's the kind of image that makes you forget you're supposed to be evaluating art quality or whatever. The anatomy is wrong in places, a leg bends weird in one of the lesbian scenes, but honestly who cares when two girls are going at each other with that much intensity. The oral shots are particularly filthy, tongues and spit and that glazed look in their eyes.

The navigation is basic, click and scroll, nothing fancy. Sometimes the images load slow but that might just be my connection. There's this weird thing where the color balance shifts between sets, some are warmer than others, and it bugs me more than it should. The solo content hits different than the paired stuff, more intimate maybe, or maybe I'm just overthinking porn again. The lesbian scenes have this raw energy that the solo stuff lacks, but then the solo images feel more personal. I don't know. You're not here for artistic consistency anyway. You're here because you want to see anime girls absolutely covered and the game delivers that without pretending to be anything else.

Always the same thing with these school games. you get the uniform, the blonde, the big tits, and then what. another visual novel where you click through dialogue for 20 minutes before seeing a nipple. this one though. this one just cuts to it. five minute quickie between classes. no pretense.

the art is rough. like someone drew it on their phone during a boring lecture. lines are shaky, proportions are weird. her left tit is noticeably bigger than the right and not in a cute stylized way. but somehow that makes it hotter? feels like finding a crumpled sketch in a locker. the blonde has this vacant expression that cycles between three frames. one of them her eyes are slightly crossed. i spent way too long staring at that. the uniform is just a suggestion really, buttons undone immediately, skirt flipped up. there's a creampie finish that's animated with like four frames and it loops awkwardly but again. the jank adds something. feels less manufactured than those hyper polished renpy games where everyone looks like a plastic doll.

mechanics are basically nonexistent. you click. things happen. anal is an option and the transition to it is so abrupt i laughed. one second you're doing standard stuff, next second she's repositioned and there's no warning or buildup. the cumshot animation is this sad little splatter effect that looks like someone threw yogurt at the screen. i've seen better effects in ms paint. but i kept replaying it. not sure why. maybe because it doesn't try to be more than what it is. a quick dirty thing you alt tab away from when someone walks by. works in browser, no fuss. the sound design is just one looping moan track that cuts off mid breath sometimes. distracting but in a way that made me check if my headphones were broken. they weren't. it's just like that.