This one feels like somebody took a giant porn folder full of every anime crush you ever had, fed it to a very horny robot, and then just let it loose in the middle of the night. It is messy, shameless fanservice in the best and worst way. You start as this generic male MC that nobody cares about, but it honestly works, because the spotlight is always on the girls. One minute you are staring at Android 18 pretending she is not seconds away from sitting on your face, next moment Tsunade is bending forward like your spine insurance is fully paid, and after that DVa is giving you this smug gamer grin you only see from sweaty tanks in Overwatch comp. Nothing really tries to be “deep”. It is like those late-night Discord calls where everybody starts posting cursed Koikatsu cards and then suddenly somebody says “wait, I can make a whole game with this” and nobody stops him. The whole thing runs on that energy.

The date sim part is kind of funny, because yeah, technically you are “dating”. You choose outfits, say the right lines, sometimes click through fake romantic setup, but everybody knows you are just trying to figure out how many scenes Mirko has and whether Rias or Nami has the better titfuck animation. And the girls are not just random OC clones either, they actually feel like somebody who watched too much anime made them on purpose. Aqua is clingy, loud, kind of dumb but insanely cute when she starts grinding on your lap like she is trying to win some idiot contest. Yoruichi keeps that smug cat energy, sits on your face like that is the most normal place in the world. Toga looks at you like a snack she is not supposed to have, then happily chokes on your cock like rules stopped existing. And then there is stuff like Vados or Kefla or Caulifla, where your brain is trying to remember power levels while your dick is just happy there is yet another big ass bouncing in your face. They even throw in weird combinations, like giving Bowsette this slow, teasing blowjob scene that lasts just long enough to make you forget you were actually trying to see the Zelda content first. By the way, whoever decided Misty and Jessie need extra focus on footjobs has some stories to explain to a therapist someday. I still appreciated it.

I really like how the pacing somehow feels both rushed and too slow. First girl I tried was Ai Hoshino, because of course I did, and the “date” was over in like two clicks and suddenly she was kneeling between my legs, lipstick smeared on my cock while she looked up with those idol eyes. Then with Hinata I had to go through this longer flirting phase, a bit of voyeur setup, peek under her clothes, touch her softly first. It felt like waiting for food that keeps smelling better while you are starving. Annoying, but in a good way. Or bad. Not sure. Anyway, everything is pure fetish salad. Oral sex scenes everywhere, big tits bouncing like they are competing with each other, asses in your face so often it starts to feel like some kind of religion. I got stuck way too long just watching a Raven scene where she rides you slow, still in half her Teen Titans vibe, moaning soft while her ass cheeks clap in that hypnotic rhythm. Meanwhile I completely forgot I had not even checked Mirko, Mina, or Nejire yet, and those are usually my first picks in any MHA fan game. Still, the weird part is how sometimes the small stuff hits the hardest. Like a moment where Komi is trying to suck you off, all shy and stiff, and the camera lingers a bit too long on the way her lips tremble around the tip. Or the way Marin Kitagawa giggles after swallowing, wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, then casually asks for “another round” like you just finished playing some gacha together on your phone. At one point my Chrome lagged for a second right when Tatsumaki started a titfuck and I legit got angry, like, that tiny freezing framed her smug face perfectly and I will never see that exact glitch again. Yeah, the game is scuffed, uneven, totally horny, and absolutely not refined. I keep alt tabbing to Telegram and back just to check something, then losing track of which girl I was “romancing” and honestly that chaotic feeling kind of fits.

Clicking around with the shoulder buttons, trying to make something happen. Interface feels like a kiosk at a dead mall, one of those photo booths nobody uses anymore. Big icons, not much to explain them. Samus is there obviously, the zero suit version, hair the color of butter left out too long. Chest so enormous I genuinely laughed the first time. Not sexily. Just... how does she stand? One button cycles animations, another changes camera angles, I think. Same system those SFM compilations on Newgrounds used back when dial-up was still a thing. You know what you're getting.

The rhythm of it though. That's what I keep coming back to. There's this one loop where she sort of bounces and looks down at you, no sound, just this hypnotic up-and-down that eventually makes you forget how unpolished everything looks. The description says this was a Patreon poll winner. Of course it was. The people have spoken and the people want unrealistic proportions getting absolutely railed. The hard sex tag earns its keep here. Several positions cycle through, repetitive but weirdly intense. Like watching a music box that fucks.

Wish there was a way to control speed, you know? Even my microwave lets me set different power levels for different foods but this thing just runs at one tempo. Also the color palette makes everything look slightly underwater. Maybe that's intentional. Maybe in space everything is blue-tinted and I'm just not aware of Metroid lore. Tried tweaking my screen settings for like ten minutes before realizing no, it's the game. My therapist would probably have thoughts about why I find the jankiness more appealing than a polished experience, something about expectations and intimacy and the raw vulnerability of unfinished creations. Or maybe she'd just tell me to stop browsing Patreon animators at 1 in the morning. Either way, does what it says it does. Not elegantly, but thoroughly.

The first thing that hits you is the sheer number of options. Penis colour choices. Not just one or two, a whole palette. It’s absurd and I spent way too long on it, cycling through hues like I was picking out paint for a bathroom. This is a Samus parody where she’s on a beach vacation, blonde and stacked, and the whole thing feels like someone’s messy sketchbook that got out of hand in the best way. The deliberate unpolished look, it’s not lazy. It’s a vibe. Like finding a crumpled hentai doujin under a park bench, but interactive.

The groping mechanic is just... there’s no tutorial, you just start pawing at her swimsuit and it reacts. You can undress her piece by piece, and the clothing doesn’t vanish, it hangs off her body in these awkward, realistic folds that make it dirtier somehow. The unli-cumshots feature is exactly what it sounds like. I triggered it during a tentacle scene, the alien appendages wrapped around her big boobs, and the screen just became a Jackson Pollock painting. There’s a costume choice that lets you swap her into different bikinis, and I got stuck on a microkini that barely contained anything, just staring at the way the pixels stretched. The colour choices extend to her outfit too, and I made her entire look an eye-searing neon pink that clashed horribly with the beach background. It was perfect.

The metroid parody angle is thin, mostly an excuse for the tentacles and the alien tag. She’s not really Samus, she’s a blonde bombshell on vacation who happens to have her name. There’s no bounty hunting. Just a lot of lying around getting molested by creatures that don’t care about your headcanon. The animation loops are janky, sometimes a tentacle will clip through her thigh and I’d wince, but then the next second her expression would shift in a way that felt genuinely lewd, not just programmed. It’s a game that knows what it is and doesn’t apologize for the rough edges. Actually, the sound design is nonexistent and that’s a crime. A game this messy needs some wet, squelching audio to sell the chaos. Without it, you’re just silently watching a disaster unfold, which is its own kind of weird meditation. I forgot what I was talking about. The beach background is static, just a flat image, and the waves never move. It’s hypnotic in a broken way.

Fucked up, horny, confusing. That's the whole vibe in three words. You got Samus Aran, right, but she's not fighting space pirates. She's getting absolutely railed by Ridley. And not in a cute way. The whole thing feels like someone took a fever dream and coded it in a weekend. The animations are janky as hell, like a Flash game from 2007 that never got finished. But somehow that adds to it? Like you're watching something you shouldn't be.

The controls are whatever. You click, things happen. Sometimes the monster's dick clips through her armor and you just have to accept it. There's this one moment where she's on her back and Ridley's tail wraps around her leg, and I swear the physics engine just gave up. But the sound design, oh man. It's just wet slaps and grunts looped badly. I had to mute it after two minutes because my neighbor's dog started barking. Not because of the noise, just bad timing.

I wish there was more buildup. You know, like a reason for the hard sex. But no, it's just instant. Samus is there, Ridley is there, and biology happens. The Legend of Krystal DNA is obvious if you've played those games. Same weird menu, same "what the fuck am I looking at" energy. I keep coming back to it though. Not because it's good. Because it's broken in a way that makes me laugh. Like a porno parody made by someone who only saw a screenshot of Metroid once. If you need polished smut, go elsewhere. If you want to feel confused and slightly ashamed, this is your jam.

I fired this up expecting, I dunno, some kind of coherent gallery mode. What I got was a fever dream where Princess Peach is getting absolutely railed by a cock the size of her forearm while Shantae just... watches from the corner, frozen mid-twerk. The whole thing runs on what feels like leftover Wii devkit spaghetti code. You don't click menus. You slam number keys like you're trying to unlock a secret fighter in Mortal Kombat. 3 is Daisy. 4 is Samus. Spacebar makes something happen, usually involving a dick appearing where there wasn't one before.

The POV angle on Peach is the real star here. Blonde hair splayed out, tits bouncing with that weird physics engine that makes everything look like it's underwater. There's a specific pose where she's bent over and you can see the exact moment the artist gave up on anatomy. Her spine does something no human spine should do. It's hot though. I hate that it's hot. The big cock tag isn't lying, it's comically oversized, like a third leg just clipping through her model. Samus's scene is bugged half the time, her arm cannon keeps phasing through her own head, but when it works? Jesus. The busty tag doing heavy lifting for Daisy, her tits have their own gravitational pull.

I wish there was a way to control the speed. You just get one animation per character and that's it. No buildup, no variation. Just instant, raw, mechanical thrusting. The arrow keys supposedly do something but I mashed them for five minutes and only managed to rotate the camera into a wall. Classic. The whole thing feels like someone ripped the models from Brawl, fed them through a blender, and sprinkled in just enough horny to make you forget the audio is completely nonexistent. Not a single moan. Just the sound of your own shame and clicking keys.

I keep coming back to how Charizard's left wing clips through the bleacher geometry about four minutes in. Not the main event, obviously. But something about that lazy rigging, that specific brand of jank, it makes the whole thing feel more honest. Like when you find an old bootleg tape and the tracking is shot to hell. Most of these browser games try to hide their seams. This one just lets Samus's pauldron float two inches off her shoulder and dares you to care.

The premise is pure schoolyard fanfic. Samus loses a Smash match and the penalty is a public claiming by Charizard. Not even a proper arena, just this weird void with an audience of silhouettes that might be Pikmin or might be blobs of corrupted texture. The dragon's cock has that ridiculous hentai proportions thing going on, veiny and throbbing, practically a third character in the scene. Samus's zero suit gets torn away in a single ripping sound effect that's way too loud compared to the muffled moaning. And then it's just... anal. Aggressive, piston-like anal while the crowd watches. No warmup. No slick foreplay. Just the arrogant dragon mounting the galaxy's greatest bounty hunter like she's a cheap toy.

Her expression is what sells it though. The artist understood what crushed pride looks like. That thousand-yard stare while she's getting her guts rearranged, bottom lip trembling between clenched teeth. There's a moment, maybe three and a half minutes deep, where a single tear rolls down her cheek and catches the nonexistent lighting. I rewound twice just to see that tear again. It's the only genuine emotion in the entire runtime.

The creampie finale feels rushed. Charizard finishes inside her with a guttural roar, seed splattering across those hexagon-patterned thighs, and Samus just... collapses. That's it. No defiant quip. No struggle. Just broken acceptance. For a scene that's supposed to be humiliating, I wish they'd let her dignity die slower. Maybe let her crawl. Maybe let her spit something venomous before the dragon's knot pops. But whatever. The cum drip physics are surprisingly decent for a game where half the textures look like they were ripped from a 2005 Flash portal.

Honestly the whole thing feels like someone took a bunch of horny Metroid fanart and smashed it together with a flash game from 2007. You got Samus, but not really Samus, more like a legally distinct blonde trooper who definitely isn't Samus Aran getting double teamed by two dinosaur monsters. The dinosaur monsters are furry in that specific way where you can tell the artist has a type, you know? Scaly but with enough mammalian features to make it weird. The whole setup is just her on her knees between these two creatures and there's a blue button you click to advance scenes.

The animation is janky as hell. Like, genuinely unpolished in a way that circles back around to being charming if you've been in these circles long enough. Each click gives you a new position or angle, and the cumshot at the end is about as subtle as a brick through a window. The handjob and blowjob segments are there but the timing feels off, like the loop doesn't quite sync with what your brain expects. I kept clicking the blue button hoping for more frames but nah, what you see is what you get. The threesome aspect is the whole point obviously, but the second monster kinda just stands there half the time like it forgot its blocking.

What bugs me is the sound design, or lack of it. Complete silence except for my own breathing which made the whole thing feel more awkward than it needed to be. I had Discord open in the background and someone's notification ping made me jump. The Legend of Krystal connection is doing a lot of heavy lifting here if you know that series, same energy, same specific flavor of monsterfucking that certain corners of the internet go feral for. Not gonna pretend this is high art but I've definitely clicked through worse at 1 AM while questioning my life choices. The blue button haunts me.

Not even sure why I clicked on that thumbnail, maybe boredom or curiosity, but this thing went way further than I expected. It’s weird how they made Samus look both powerful and humiliated at the same time - like she’s still that cold bounty hunter under all the mess, but the game keeps pushing her into situations that feel filthy in a way that’s almost hypnotic. You start thinking you’re just clicking through another cheap parody, then suddenly you’re adjusting sliders for things you didn’t think you’d ever have control over. There’s something so wrong about it, yet it’s done with a confidence that makes you forget to question it. I don’t even know if that’s good or bad.

The controls are clunky sometimes, especially when you try to switch between the toys - the physics go crazy, and I laughed instead of getting turned on. But then again, when the tentacles start moving in sync with her breathing, that laughter dies real quick. The sound design is grossly effective: too wet, too close, like someone’s recording from inside her throat. I kept muting it and unmuting again because silence felt even dirtier. The “pee” option caught me off guard; I thought it was a joke setting until I saw how detailed the animation was. Maybe too detailed. And the cake thing? I still don’t get it, but it sticks in your head like a smell you can’t wash off.

I guess what hits hardest is how the game doesn’t pretend to be anything noble. It’s pure control fantasy, ugly and honest. Sometimes she looks back at the camera and there’s this flicker - maybe shame, maybe pleasure - and I can’t tell which one turns me on more. The UI is garbage, but you end up forgetting about it, just lost in rhythm and skin and that awful metallic echo when she moans. I closed the tab, opened it again ten minutes later, and hated myself slightly less the second time.

The animation loop is basically a single pov shot, Samus on her knees, those huge tits wrapped around a cock that’s supposed to be yours. It’s not a game game, more like a fidget toy for your dick. You pick an outfit, the zero suit or the classic blue, or just go fully nude, and then you control the cumshot. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. The customization for the money shot is weirdly granular, you can drag a slider to make the ropes comically long, like physics defying anime goo, and pick where it lands. I spent an embarrassing amount of time just seeing if I could paint her entire visor white. You can.

The model for Samus is... fine. It’s unpolished in that specific Source Filmmaker way, where the skin looks a bit like shiny plastic and the hair doesn’t move right. Her expression is locked in this permanent, vacant stare that doesn’t change, which is a little off putting if you look at it too long. But the animation of the boobjob itself is smooth, a steady rhythmic motion that loops cleanly. The sound is just a wet, repetitive squelch. No voice acting, no moans, just that sound on a loop. It gets hypnotic after a minute, or maybe that’s just the blood leaving your brain.

I wish there was a button to change the pace, or maybe a different angle. Just one. Staring at the exact same frame for the whole session feels like a missed opportunity, especially for a character who’s all about scanning visors and morph balls. Where’s the creativity? You’re telling me a Chozo powered suit and the best we can do is a static camera? But I guess that’s not the point. The point is the slider that lets you absolutely drench her. It’s a one handed experience, perfect for a quick alt tab session when you’re supposed to be doing something else. Just don’t expect a deep exploration of the Metroid lore.