Brickhouse Betty goes noir and honestly it's like watching a cheap porno flicker on a broken projector. Black and white, grainy, no polish at all. Slappy kidnaps Betty, wants her dead, whatever. Tarzan shows up because of course he does, swinging in like he owns the place. The whole setup is dumb as rocks but that's the charm, right? Wrong. The charm dies fast when you realize the gameplay is just clicking through static screens waiting for the next badly drawn tit to pop out.

The humor is there, I'll give it that. Slappy's dialogue made me snort once, like a real snort, not the fake kind. But then Tarzan fucks Betty as a reward and it's so mechanical you'd think they animated it with a flipbook made by a bored teenager. The pussy close-up is there, juicy enough I guess, but the noir filter makes everything look like a crime scene photo. Maybe that's the point? A dead hooker aesthetic for your dick. I don't know.

One thing that bugged me, and I can't let it go, is the sound. There's this slappy noise every time Slappy appears, like a wet hand on a thigh, and it loops weird. No music, just that. And the adventure tag is a lie, there's no exploring, just a straight line to the sex scene. I kept waiting for a twist, like Betty turning the tables or Tarzan being a hallucination, but nope. Just Tarzan's dumb loincloth and Betty's tits in grayscale. The whole thing feels like a joke I'm not in on, and I'm the punchline for playing it. Still, for a quick wank it does the job if you're into that old-timey smut vibe. Just don't expect anything beyond a five minute slideshow with a cumshot at the end.