Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

Memory gone, wallet empty, dick still working. That is basically the vibe here. You wake up as this guy who doesn’t even remember who he is, and the only thing the world offers him is a job at a nightclub that clearly screams “bad idea” from the first click. But of course you say yes, because the club is full of animatronic-style girls and furry babes that look like they crawled out of a Five Nights parody and then decided clothes are optional. It feels like someone took FNAF, forgot the horror, got horny instead and said: alright, same idea, but what if every night shift is about flirting, teasing, and trying not to bust too fast while you explore the place. You jump between areas, poke around rooms you’re probably not supposed to enter, talk to weirdly sweet but also sexually aggressive characters, and watch your money go up while your dignity goes very, very down. Sandbox structure means you just wander, bump into events, pick choices, grind some cash, unlock scenes. No one holds your hand. Sometimes that is hot, sometimes it is confusing, which kind of fits the amnesia thing.

The girls here are not shy. Big tits, huge asses that take half the screen when they lean in, tongue out ahegao faces when things get serious. One moment you’re just “working” the shift, watching cameras, checking who’s where, next moment an animatronic catgirl with glowing eyes has you pinned, slowly jerking you off while she whispers filthy stuff in your ear and pretends it is “security check”. There is titfucking where the physics seem a bit cursed but in a fun way, blowjobs where the tongue is doing all the work and you almost feel it through the screen, toys sliding into places they really shouldn’t be in a workplace. Some scenes go straight to vaginal sex with zero romance, just raw need, others surprise you with soft teasing, handjobs, lazy grinding on your lap while she talks about your lost memories like it is some deep visual novel, except her nipples are pressed against the glass table. And yeah, sometimes you walk in on two girls going at it together, licking and fingering, barely acknowledging you at first, like the “lesbian show” is just part of the nightly routine. It is weird how chill the pacing feels. You open it on your phone, maybe on the bus, think “I’ll just check something”, then suddenly you are timing your clicks between camera switches and cum scenes, trying not to miss a dialogue line that hints at who you were before all this. Some paths feel rough and unpolished, some UI bits are clunky, one button label annoyed me the whole time and never got fixed in my head, but the messy energy somehow matches the club. It is like the game looks at you and says: you’re not here for perfection, you’re here to get lost in horny nights with animatronic monsters who moan your name even though you don’t remember it yourself. And yeah, it works.

Grandpa dies, Soul Society is a mess, and somehow you are the one who has to clean it up while every captain, lieutenant and random big tit soul reaper wants either your authority, your cock, or both. The story kicks off pretty fast: you get dumped into the commander seat before you even know which division does what, and then Rukia is already side eying you, Rangiku is leaning over the desk with that huge chest of hers "accidentally" pressing on the paperwork, and Yoruichi appears like a damn cat thief who forgot what clothes are for. It feels less like you are leading some holy organization and more like you walked into a horny fanfic that escaped from a Discord server. In the best way. Or the worst. Depends how much you enjoy watching the same dialogue box ten times because you clicked too fast while holding your kid with the other hand and now you do not know why Unohana is suddenly offering to "treat" you in a locked room.

The game is basically a slow corruption machine dressed as management. You run around Soul Society, talk to captains and girls, pretend to care about political balance, but in truth you are hunting flags that unlock lewd scenes. One moment you are pretending to be this serious commander in front of Byakuya, the next you are spying through a cracked door while Orihime and Tatsuki are changing, the camera glued to panties sliding down and that tiny delay before ass is fully shown. The voyeur scenes hit hard, especially with characters you already know from anime. Like Temari and Nico Robin popping up here feels almost illegal, like the devs threw a shonen jump catalog in a blender. Android 18 standing next to Tsunade in the same universe makes no sense at all and somehow it works, same way ketchup on pasta technically "works" if you eat fast and don't think too much. Sometimes you get these proper romance vibes, like quiet talks in the courtyard at midnight with Hinata, then ten clicks later it is sleep sex and you are creeping into a futa girl's futon while she breathes softly and the text is describing how your hand is lifting her robe. There are feet scenes too, of course, because of course someone in the dev team is extremely into it. Rangiku using her foot on you while she "helps you relax from the stress of command" and keeps teasing you about finishing on her toes, that one is going to stay in my head during boring work calls on Microsoft Teams, which is not ideal.

The pacing is chaotic. Sometimes you get a slow burn, building trust with someone like Nel, talking about duty and loss, then suddenly she is kneeling between your legs, drool on your shaft, eyes rolling into a full ahegao when you grab her horns. Other times the game just shoves BDSM at you out of nowhere. One dialogue choice with Soi Fon about discipline and boom, you are tied to a chair while she grinds in your lap and whispers threats and orders, her boot pressing on you when you cum too early. It can feel all over the place, like the devs were watching three different hentai at once and just pulled scenes they liked. But then you hit a scene with Ai generated CG that actually looks weirdly soft and emotional, like a titfuck that somehow feels like foreplay for a real relationship, and you kind of forgive the whiplash. Some of the writing is clunky as hell and the English goes strange, and that is funny because here I am with my own broken English judging it, but you will notice it, especially when a captain is talking serious politics then suddenly says something like "your dick is the key of balance." Anyway, if you want to squeeze as much filth from it as possible, poke every option that sounds slightly pervy, always revisit girls at different times, and do not sleep on the "harmless" scenes like simple handjobs or masturbation peeks, because those are the ones that secretly unlock the wild harem and domination routes later. Also, whoever mapped the UI spacing for the sex toys menu should step on Lego. I clicked the wrong plug three times.

The weirdest thing is how it starts like one of those rich-kid fantasy sims, but then the morning you wake up, naked in that absurdly big room with sunlight cutting through the curtains all fake-soft, it already feels off. The phone on the nightstand vibrates with a message from someone who calls you “baby” like you’ve been together for years, and it doesn’t even let you breathe before throwing you into a pile of half-remembered scenes - like that one in the car with Miku humming some twisted remix of her own song while you’re trying not to stare at her mouth. I swear, the pacing feels broken in a way that makes sense only after the third time you play it. That’s when you realize the “dream life” part isn’t just a setup - it’s the whole trap.

There’s this classroom segment that hits differently. Everyone acts like they know you, but the camera lingers too long when Hinata leans over her desk, or when Toga chews her pen cap like she’s daring you to lose it. The game pretends to be a mystery, but it’s just a long tease for whatever power fantasy you think you’ve earned. I tried to skip some dialogue once, and it froze right on a frame where Mitsuri’s hand was halfway down your pants - like the game itself was judging me for impatience. Maybe that’s part of the kink? The click mechanics are sloppy, but the voyeur cam moments make up for it. When you’re watching Asuka arguing in the hallway while you catch your reflection licking your lips - yeah, it’s got that voyeuristic guilt thing nailed down.

Still, something about the way everyone bends reality around you keeps me hooked. It’s not even the sex scenes (which sometimes go from “holy shit” to “wait, is that even physically possible?” in seconds). It’s that feeling that somebody else is watching you play, whispering the lines before they happen. I had one run where Android 21 called me by my real name. No idea if it was a bug or a feature, but it messed me up good. And yet, I booted it again right after. Guess that says enough.

This one feels like somebody took a giant porn folder full of every anime crush you ever had, fed it to a very horny robot, and then just let it loose in the middle of the night. It is messy, shameless fanservice in the best and worst way. You start as this generic male MC that nobody cares about, but it honestly works, because the spotlight is always on the girls. One minute you are staring at Android 18 pretending she is not seconds away from sitting on your face, next moment Tsunade is bending forward like your spine insurance is fully paid, and after that DVa is giving you this smug gamer grin you only see from sweaty tanks in Overwatch comp. Nothing really tries to be “deep”. It is like those late-night Discord calls where everybody starts posting cursed Koikatsu cards and then suddenly somebody says “wait, I can make a whole game with this” and nobody stops him. The whole thing runs on that energy.

The date sim part is kind of funny, because yeah, technically you are “dating”. You choose outfits, say the right lines, sometimes click through fake romantic setup, but everybody knows you are just trying to figure out how many scenes Mirko has and whether Rias or Nami has the better titfuck animation. And the girls are not just random OC clones either, they actually feel like somebody who watched too much anime made them on purpose. Aqua is clingy, loud, kind of dumb but insanely cute when she starts grinding on your lap like she is trying to win some idiot contest. Yoruichi keeps that smug cat energy, sits on your face like that is the most normal place in the world. Toga looks at you like a snack she is not supposed to have, then happily chokes on your cock like rules stopped existing. And then there is stuff like Vados or Kefla or Caulifla, where your brain is trying to remember power levels while your dick is just happy there is yet another big ass bouncing in your face. They even throw in weird combinations, like giving Bowsette this slow, teasing blowjob scene that lasts just long enough to make you forget you were actually trying to see the Zelda content first. By the way, whoever decided Misty and Jessie need extra focus on footjobs has some stories to explain to a therapist someday. I still appreciated it.

I really like how the pacing somehow feels both rushed and too slow. First girl I tried was Ai Hoshino, because of course I did, and the “date” was over in like two clicks and suddenly she was kneeling between my legs, lipstick smeared on my cock while she looked up with those idol eyes. Then with Hinata I had to go through this longer flirting phase, a bit of voyeur setup, peek under her clothes, touch her softly first. It felt like waiting for food that keeps smelling better while you are starving. Annoying, but in a good way. Or bad. Not sure. Anyway, everything is pure fetish salad. Oral sex scenes everywhere, big tits bouncing like they are competing with each other, asses in your face so often it starts to feel like some kind of religion. I got stuck way too long just watching a Raven scene where she rides you slow, still in half her Teen Titans vibe, moaning soft while her ass cheeks clap in that hypnotic rhythm. Meanwhile I completely forgot I had not even checked Mirko, Mina, or Nejire yet, and those are usually my first picks in any MHA fan game. Still, the weird part is how sometimes the small stuff hits the hardest. Like a moment where Komi is trying to suck you off, all shy and stiff, and the camera lingers a bit too long on the way her lips tremble around the tip. Or the way Marin Kitagawa giggles after swallowing, wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, then casually asks for “another round” like you just finished playing some gacha together on your phone. At one point my Chrome lagged for a second right when Tatsumaki started a titfuck and I legit got angry, like, that tiny freezing framed her smug face perfectly and I will never see that exact glitch again. Yeah, the game is scuffed, uneven, totally horny, and absolutely not refined. I keep alt tabbing to Telegram and back just to check something, then losing track of which girl I was “romancing” and honestly that chaotic feeling kind of fits.

You know that feeling when you’re scrolling through TikTok and suddenly your brain goes “yeah ok, I’d totally let that anime character ruin my life”? This game is basically that thought turned into a horny little quiz show. It throws a bunch of familiar faces at you, from huge-titted milfs like Tsunade and Rias to walking war crimes like Esdeath and Mikasa, and says: “Alright, smartass, you think you know them? Prove it.” You’re not just clicking through dialogue, you’re answering questions about them, reacting to their mood, trying to say the shit they want to hear. When you get it right, they soften up, blush, tease, or just straight up start talking about how wet or hard they’re getting. When you fuck it up, some of them get all tsun and pouty, some just roast you like Aqua with her useless goddess energy. It’s funny, because you’re basically speedrunning emotional manipulation for boners.

What surprised me is how the vibe shifts depending on who you’re “training.” One moment you’re with Marin from My Dress-Up Darling, and it’s all bubbly, cosplay, her leaning in too close and asking what you think about her outfit while her tits are exploding out of the top. You pick the right answer, she giggles, the camera angle becomes a little more hungry, and phase two kicks in: handjobs, titfucks, her climbing on your lap with that fake shy smile. The next moment you end up with someone like Yor or Saeko, and the whole thing gets darker, like this soft, violent tension where you know they could wreck you but they’re the ones panting and begging. There’s a nice corrupted contrast with “pure” girls like Hinata or Asuna too, where the early talks are all romance and blushy sweetness, then suddenly she’s on her knees, drool on her chin, talking about how good your cock tastes while still acting like it’s some kind of holy ritual. And yeah, the game doesn’t pretend to be deep. The “meaningful relationship” stuff is like watching a romance anime on 2x speed: a couple of flirty lines, a tiny bit of fake emotional build up, and then bam, panties off, thighs spread, you’re balls-deep in your favorite waifu while she moans your name like she forgot every other word in the dictionary.

It’s kinda funny how it handles all the crossovers too. One moment you’re messing with dragons like Lucoa and Tohru, massive tits and soft bellies pressing against you as they ask stupid little quiz questions, the next you’re stuck with some smug trap like Astolfo or Felix, and you’re sitting there thinking “yeah, I’d still fuck them” while they smirk and stroke you off like it’s the most natural thing in the world. The game leans hard into parody, but not in a smart-ass way. More like “yeah, we know you’ve fantasized about this exact blowjob from Android 18 while Bulma watches, here you go, have fun.” The sex scenes are animated, not super polished Marvel-level CGI or anything, but dirty enough that when Nami is riding you and her huge ass bounces with every thrust, you don’t really care if a strand of hair clips weirdly through her shoulder. The point system ties into all that, so every correct answer inches you closer to stripping scenes, lap dances, blowjob angles, anal detours, creampies, the usual degeneracy menu. Sometimes the flow of dialogue feels a bit stiff or generic, like they all went to the same horny anime acting school, but then you get this one line during a titfuck that just hits right and you forget you were annoyed. It’s basically a fanservice machine pretending to be a dating sim, and somehow that makes it more honest. You come in thinking “yeah, I just want to see Rias or Erza naked and noisy,” and the game just nods, opens the door, and lets you ruin them one correct answer at a time.

Not sure when Dead or Alive became the default hentai benchmark but here we are, Kasumi chained up like some kind of trophy and me with a cursor full of bad intentions. The whole thing runs on that old Flash-era energy where everything's a bit jank and the menus feel like they were translated through three languages, but honestly that roughness kinda adds to the grimy appeal. You've got this iconic fighter girl in heavy shackles, arms stretched, and the interface just lets you grab any part of her and reposition. Twist her around, lift the skirt, spread whatever you want. The physics on the tits are completely absurd, bouncing like they've got their own gravity settings, and when you start the breast expansion stuff it goes from anime proportions to genuine "how does her spine work" territory.

The toy drawer is where things get properly unhinged. Dildos in three sizes because of course there are, and you can slot them into any opening with zero resistance. Mouth, pussy, ass, the game doesn't care and neither does Kasumi's anatomy. The paizuri scenes are particularly ridiculous, her chest just swallowing the shaft in a way that defies basic geometry. There's a torture toggle that adds slapping and rougher penetration but the animations stay stiff, like a doll being posed rather than a person reacting. The cumshot system paints her face and body with this thick white layer that somehow clips through her hair. Classic. The *** framing is just there upfront, no pretense about consent mechanics or safe words or whatever, she's literally chained and you do what you want. Doggystyle angles are decent if you position her right, and the anal penetration has that telltale stretching effect that old hentai games loved. Facial finish scenes pool in her eyes and mouth while she just stares blankly, which is either hot or unsettling depending on your mood.

The creampie aftermath leaves the mess dripping realistically enough for a browser game from 2015 or whenever this thing crawled out of. You can spend way too long just poking at her clit with the cursor while the masturbation loops cycle through the same three frames. Never quite figured out if there was supposed to be a win condition or if the endless sandbox is the whole point. It's crude, it's repetitive, it's basically the fast food of fap material, and I've absolutely gone back to it more times than I'd admit in polite company.

MITY really went all out with this one, didn't they? Four Elements Trainer basically throws you into the Avatar world but cranks everything up to eleven in the horniest way possible. You're playing as some dude who somehow gets to train all these iconic characters - and by "train" I mean exactly what you think I mean. The corruption mechanics work pretty smoothly, watching Toph go from innocent earth-bender to... well, let's just say she learns some new moves that aren't in any bending manual. Mai's storyline particularly got me going - there's something about breaking through that cold exterior that hits different. Though honestly, the Azula content made me question my life choices in the best way possible.

What's wild is how they managed to cram both series into this thing. One minute you're dealing with Katara's water tribe innocence, next you're corrupting Korra and her whole crew. The pregnancy system actually surprised me - didn't expect that level of consequence in a parody game. Asami's exhibitionism scenes are chef's kiss, but then you've got Jinora content that makes you feel like you need to clear your browser history twice. The combat system exists but let's be real, nobody's here for turn-based fighting when you've got Ty Lee doing... those things. Some of the puzzle elements are actually clever though, especially when they tie into character corruption arcs.

The sheer scope is insane when you think about it. Lin Beifong getting the MILF treatment she deserves, Kuvira's domination scenes, even some weird tentacle stuff with spirits that shouldn't work but somehow does. The mobile version runs surprisingly well too, which is dangerous for productivity. Sure, some animations feel a bit janky and the writing can get repetitive during certain grinding sections, but when Pema's housewife fantasy kicks in or when you unlock Senna's more exotic scenes... yeah, those complaints fade fast. MITY basically created the Avatar porn game everyone secretly wanted but nobody asked for out loud.

The washing machine is in its final spin cycle and I've got maybe seven minutes. Perfect. Load up the browser, find that Nami game. You know the one. From that pirate show my kid watches. I shouldn't find that appealing but here we are, a tired parent with a thing for redheads and questionable decisions.

The art is rough. Not in a charming way, more like someone drew it on a napkin during lunch break. Nami's proportions are ridiculous, her boobs are basically weather balloons, and her face keeps sliding off model. But the ropes. The ropes are drawn with weird attention. Whoever made this really thought about how the knots would dig into her skin, how her arms would strain behind her back. That focus on the tied up helplessness, it works even when the rest looks like a rushed school project.

The titfuck animation loops three times. Three. I counted while the machine beeped. Her mouth opens for the facefuck and there's this moment where her eyes go blank, just accepting it, and I felt something despite the janky frame rate. Then they move to her pussy, fingers spreading her open, and the demo just stops. Right there. Blue balls in pixel form. I actually said "are you kidding me" out loud to an empty laundry room. The wet sounds are stock effects I've heard in five other games. The facial abuse at the end of the oral scene leaves her with cum dripping off her chin in a way that's more funny than hot, like she sneezed into a cup of yogurt.

I wish there was more. The paizuri section is too short, the *** fantasy is all setup no payoff. But I'll probably check if there's a full version next time the dryer finishes. Old habits.