Public transport wifi is trash, Pornhub keeps buffering, so I ended up poking around this thing instead, and somehow it ate my whole commute before I even noticed. The idea is simple as fuck: you sit in this sleazy casting couch office, you’re the “professional interviewer” with a dick that thinks it’s the main character, and all these famous anime waifus walk in like they answered a shady Craigslist ad. It looks like one of those mobile VN ports you’d secretly tap through on the toilet at work, but it runs smooth in browser and doesn’t pretend to be more serious than it is. Girl shows up, you pretend to ask a few questions, then it turns straight into “how deep can she take it” faster than Instagram shows you an ad after you talk about shoes once.

The fun is how wrong it feels to see characters like Tifa or Asuna trying to play “shy actress” for two lines, then suddenly they’re on their knees, lipstick smeared, eyes rolled up in that full-on ahegao, spitting drool down your shaft while the MC keeps talking like this is some normal HR interview. One minute Kobayashi is awkward and stiff, sitting proper, skirt straight, asking if this is really “just a simple audition.” Next click, she’s bent over the arm of the couch, fat ass bouncing on your cock, glasses crooked, trying to sound professional while you pound her so hard the text box might as well just say “nnnngghhh” for three scenes. I had one run where Froppy came in super polite, stuttering a bit, tongue peeking out, and by the end I was making her swallow every last drop while she’s got cum on her cheeks, tongue out like some horny frog idol who forgot what modesty was. The oral scenes are honestly the best part. They let the camera sit a bit too long on the lips wrapped around that big dick, slurpy sound effects, stupid little bits of dialogue like “it’s bigger than I expected” that should feel cringe but I still clicked next like a clown. Vaginal stuff hits too, especially on the big tits / thick hips girls. Bulma riding you while pretending it’s “for science” made me laugh way more than it should. Her tits bouncing, her moaning into some bullshit excuse about “data collection” while your cock is basically rearranging her brain. And the MC is not subtle. There’s this one moment with Chizuru where she comes in with that rented girlfriend vibe, all polite smile and legs crossed, then the questions slowly get filthier until he’s basically asking “how many times you can cum on camera” and she just kind of gives up and spreads for him. No smooth romance buildup. Just straight to “get on the couch, open that pussy, let’s see if you can handle a creampie on first shoot.”

It’s all very obviously made to be “five minute fun” and yet I kept going through girl after girl like some horny goblin collecting skins in Genshin. The game acts like you’re running a low-budget porn studio, but there’s almost no management layer, just enough fake “casting” talk to justify why Tifa has your cock halfway down her throat. Sometimes that annoyed me. I actually wanted to pick outfits, choose lighting, fail a scene, bully them a bit more with choices. Instead it’s mostly “click line, get lewder, dick out.” But in a shitty way that also works, because when I’m half dead on the metro after work I don’t want deep strategy, I just want Asuna kneeling between my legs and calling me “director” while she drools all over my dick. I kept thinking, “ok, one more girl and I close Chrome,” then suddenly I’m watching Satsuki, who’s supposed to be this icy queen type, riding me with that smug face twisted into a full orgasm meltdown, tits bouncing like crazy, talking about how this is “only for testing.” It’s scuffed, sometimes the dialogue repeats, sometimes the transitions are janky, and at one point I got irrationally annoyed that the interview desk lamp is always tilted the same way. But when you’ve got a screen full of ahegao, cum strings on lips, big asses slapping against your hips, and a parade of famous waifus lining up to “audition” on your cock, that stupid lamp is the last thing you’re actually looking at.

Isekai Brothel feels like someone cracked open my anime watchlist, dumped it on the bed, and said, “Ok, pick who you wanna fuck first.” It’s a dating sim wrapped around a brothel idea, but not the usual boring “pick one route, marry waifu, roll credits”. Here you jump between worlds and timelines, grab girls from different series, and basically run this horny multiverse where fidelity is a suggestion, not a rule. As a poly person this hits weirdly close to my fantasy: not needing to “pick best girl”, just stacking them like a chaotic harem Jenga tower and seeing what breaks first, your dick or your free time. And yeah, it’s messy. The art style and scenes don’t always match perfectly between girls, the transitions sometimes feel like someone hit the skip button too fast, but honestly that fits the vibe. It feels like a porn stash, not a museum.

What I liked a lot is how it leans hard into the “brothel” part without pretending to be moral about it. You flirt, you pay, you fuck. Sometimes you date first, sometimes you go straight to raw dog in a rented room. One moment I was having a kinda sweet “date” with a shy girl, choosing dialog options that made her open up, and then suddenly I was balls-deep while she begged me not to pull out. The jump from wholesome to filthy is fast and I actually enjoy that whiplash. There are quick sex scenes for when you just want a 2-minute stress relief, and longer dates where you build some tension before ruining her makeup. The game throws in fetishes pretty casually, like, “Oh, you clicked this girl again? Guess we’re doing anal now” and doesn’t over-explain anything. It trusts that if you’re on an adult site and recognize half these characters, you already know what you’re here for. One tiny thing that annoyed me: sometimes dialog sounds like it was translated twice through Google, then drunk-edited, but honestly I still liked that more than fake polished porn writing that nobody talks like.

The multiverse teleport tech is a cool excuse for why everyone is in one place, but the real fun is when you start mentally mixing “lore” from different shows while you’re mid-thrust. I was fucking a certain very proud, very stacked demon girl while thinking “if her boss from that other universe walked in right now, he’d probably applaud.” Then I switched to a sweet healer-type girl and went from rough choking and hair pulling to soft missionary and kissing like some kind of emotional whiplash speedrun. The game doesn’t punish you for jumping from girl to girl; it almost encourages it, like “you liked that dommy mommy? Nice, go cuddle the awkward schoolgirl now, coward.” It’s not trying to be classy, and I appreciate that a lot. Sex here can be romantic, sure, but it can also be just sloppy blowjob in a side room while other clients are busy in the back. I kinda wish there were more scenes where the girls interact with each other and not only with you, like full-on group sessions that acknowledge relationships between them, but at the same time I like the feeling that I’m sneaking from room to room, collecting different bodies and personalities like a horny little goblin. The whole thing feels like a guilty browser tab you forget to close, which is exactly how this kind of game should feel.

A lonely, overweight, bald adult NEET lives a repetitive, empty life of endless gaming, junk food, and isolation. His only source of real emotion comes from playing online games with the only online friend he has.

One ordinary day, that online friend suddenly appears at his door! And it turns out that all this time his online friend was (grasp) a woman! It's Uzaki Hana, and she wants to hang out!​