Thanksgiving in this game feels like somebody spiked the gravy with lust potion and forgot to tell the hostess. You’re dropped in as this cocky asshole of an adventurer who’s supposed to help with a “magical feast,” but honestly you spend more time buried between thighs than near an oven. One moment you’re picking herbs in a sparkly forest, next moment a fairy with tits bigger than her head is straddling your face, teasing you with her wings and rubbing against your nose while she pretends you’re “just helping with pollen.” Yeah, sure. The point and click stuff is actually kinda nice on mobile, just tapping around, poking things, accidentally triggering voyeur scenes because you clicked the wrong bush and now you’re spying on a milf witch masturbating with a glowing wand that hums louder the closer she gets. She keeps moaning about needing “ingredients” while she’s grinding that wand over her clit, and your dude just hides like some pervy little goblin, rock hard, not even pretending he’s there for noble reasons.

The crazy part is how they mix silly humor with really filthy content. You’re chatting with a demon girl about stuffing turkeys, and two clicks later she’s talking about stuffing your ass instead, then shoving you onto a stone table and riding you like she’s trying to break your spine. She has these slight monster girl vibes, horns and tail, curling that tail around your throat while she bounces on your cock, big ass slapping against your hips. She calls it “ritual bonding,” but it’s just her making you cum three times while you beg her to slow down. Sometimes the sandbox exploration feels a little too open and I got lost in some enchanted village, wandering around tapping random doors until I ended up peeking through a window and seeing an aunt-like milf bent over the table, giant tits hanging, getting throat-fucked by some faceless spirit. You can choose to walk away, but of course I stayed, watching, hand slowly stroking under my clothes like some horny loser. I liked that the game just lets you be that creep without judging. The turn based combat is almost a joke, half the enemies are sexy ninjas or demon maids, and half of their attacks are teasing moves. One dark ninja girl pins you down as a “stun,” sits on your chest and makes you lick her through her tight outfit until your stamina drops, then you finish the fight by using some ridiculous superpower that blasts her clothes off and leaves her kneeling, panting, begging for your “mercy.” You can deny her or pull her hair and use her mouth, and the animation when she chokes on your cock, tears in her eyes, is surprisingly hot for something that also has slapstick moments with talking turkey legs. It feels like a horny fever dream cooked by a Disney fan who watched way too much hentai, and I kind of hate how much it worked on me.

Everything starts with you being thrown into this weird parallel wizard academy where things look like Harry Potter got drunk, hooked up with some cheap hentai artist and said “yeah, that’s fine.” The old beardy professor, Doubleroar, is gone, snatched by some edgy Dark Seakers, and the Higher Administration of Magic basically says: all *** students are on hold. Which means the campus is suddenly full of girls who are old enough, horny enough, bored enough, and you end up in the director’s chair with way too much power and not enough shame. The game does not rush, it just drops you into this semi-sandbox school where every corridor, tower and hidden room has at least one “oh fuck I shouldn’t be seeing this” moment. I spent like twenty minutes just abusing the voyeur system, peeking into dorms and showers, checking stats like a pervert accountant: “ok, she likes teasing, she likes girls, she hates public stuff, got it.” Then I’d trigger some magic event and suddenly I’m watching two students grind on each other on a couch, full scissoring loop, smooth 3D animation, panties pushed aside, one of them trying to be quiet and failing.

The best parts for me are when you abuse your role as director in a playful way. You call a girl to your office because “her grades are dropping” and five dialog options later she is giving you a lapdance on that ugly armchair that looks like it came from Ikea clearance, your hand on her ass, her tits almost slipping out of the uniform. If you focus your build on domination spells, things get even dirtier. You can cast this little obedience charm and suddenly she is kneeling between your legs, licking slowly, while giving you that half-pissed, half-aroused look that says “I hate that I like this.” Then later you meet the same girl in the courtyard with one of her female friends and they start teasing each other for who sucked you better. That small continuity made me laugh, because I realized the game actually tracks that route and I tested it with a spreadsheet on my second run. There are lesbian-focused paths too, where you barely touch them, just set up situations. I had one chain where I “punished” a girl by making her take dance lessons from a more experienced student. Ten minutes later they are in the club room, grinding, one lifting the other by the leg, deep tribbing on some old sofa, kissing and moaning while you are behind a curtain like a budget perv god. You can join them or just watch and collect a new unlockable animation for the gallery. Odd thing: sometimes the pacing is weird, you do three quests and the reward is just a little groping scene, then suddenly an optional side click opens a full-blown cunnilingus animation with magic glowing around their thighs that looks way better than the “main” story scene. The humor is also all over the place. One moment you read some stupid joke about magic paperwork, the next you are tongue deep in a student’s pussy in the library, her legs on your shoulders, books flying around because of a wild enchantment, and she is trying not to scream because other students are right behind the shelves. I liked that the MC can be a smug asshole or more playful, but either way he is clearly a pervert. This is not one of those fake wholesome titles. You bully, you tease, you control schedules so a girl “accidentally” ends up in detention with a known lesbian upperclassman who proceeds to sit on her face. The animated scenes are honestly the main thing. Breasts bounce, thighs press together, asses jiggle when you spank, tongues move when they lick each other, and the camera is not shy to go close. It is crude, sometimes a bit clunky, but it feels dirty in a good way, like a porn parody that knows exactly what it is. I spent way too long trying to find all the voyeur variants for the bathrooms just to see how many oral and fingering combos they hid there. For a game that pretends to be about magic academy management, it is really about watching and guiding a bunch of horny students into every combination of licking, sucking, scissoring, grinding, stripping and fucking you can statistically map. And I did map it. Twice.

Orange Smash! feels like somebody took a lazy walk into a creepy forest, tripped over their own dick, and decided to stay there because the girl who found them was way too hot to leave. It is one of those short, horny visual novels that knows exactly what it wants to do and does not pretend to be deep, but somehow it still has little emotional stabs that catch you off guard. You meet Yuma in this empty, almost dead-looking forest, everything quiet, no people, just you, trees, and this girl with ridiculous chest physics and a smile that looks like trouble. She talks like she already knows you, touches you like you are already her toy, and the game never really explains her properly. Not in a lore way, anyway. Which is kind of nice. You just accept that this monster-looking girl with huge tits shows up, teases the fuck out of you, and that is your life now. I played it on my phone while half-lying on the couch, one hand awkwardly holding the screen, the other hand very much busy, and honestly the mobile aspect matters more than it should. It is the kind of thing you open between checking Telegram and Reddit and then suddenly you are stuck watching her slowly slide her tongue along the MC in this long oral scene that lasts just enough to make you forget you were even “playing” anything.

What I really liked is how Yuma is written like a horny gremlin instead of some perfect anime waifu. She jokes, she mocks you a bit, she knows you are staring at her boobs and she uses it. There is this moment early on where she pretends she is giving you a “reward” for surviving the forest, sits way too close, leans in so her breasts press into the MC’s chest, and just keeps talking casually about nothing important, like she is stretching out the moment on purpose. It is obvious she wants to fuck, it is obvious you want to fuck, but she keeps you right at the edge of it, brushing your thigh, whispering in your ear, her tail kind of wrapping around your leg like she is claiming you. It is slow, but in a good way. Then the actual sex scenes go the other direction, like “ok, you waited, now take everything at once.” The first time she goes down on you, she looks up with this smug face that actually made me stop tapping for a second. There is something really satisfying about how she enjoys it too, not just doing service. She drools, she laughs a bit when you twitch, she talks with her mouth still messy. Later, when she climbs on top and just sinks down, there is this quiet line she drops, something like “you are not going anywhere now,” and it hits both as horny and a little scary. In a good, “I live in your phone and own your dick now” kind of way. The creampie stuff is straight up shameless, warm and sticky and drawn with way more love than some of the backgrounds. I wish the forest had more variation, to be honest, but I kind of forgot about that once she started bouncing on top of the MC, her breasts moving like they had their own personality. It is messy, it is focused almost only on you and her, and that single track mindset actually makes it relaxing. You open game, you meet weird lewd girl, you get teased, you cum inside her, you stare at the last CG a bit too long, you close game, you think “yeah, I might open that again later” and then you go back to scrolling like nothing happened.

Stellar Dream feels like someone mashed a horny space opera with a messy dating sim and then just let it ferment. You’re the guy stuck on this huge colony ship in the middle of nowhere, supposed to be the responsible scout wrangler, but it takes about ten minutes before “mission” turns into “how many people on this ship want to use me as a toy.” In a good way. Mostly. The tone jumps from sci-fi mystery to “oops I just got a handjob in a corridor” so fast it almost feels like old-school Ren’Py stuff people passed around on shady forums. One minute you’re in a briefing talking about lost scouting parties and damaged comms, next minute your commanding officer with Milf Energy is leaning way too close, tits almost spilling out, asking why your discipline stats are higher than your charm. You try to focus on the quest log, then she quietly locks the door and pushes you into the chair and suddenly the mission is her riding you until her stockings are a mess. Of course that’s the “serious professional” route. The casual one is worse.

What really got me is how the ship starts feeling like a floating red-light district without ever actually saying it out loud. You walk into the mess hall “by accident” at the wrong rotation and it’s not just food they’re trading; some crew basically turns prostitution into a side hustle, and your stats decide if you end up paying, being paid, or getting blackmailed into free service. There’s this one scene where a big ass alien milf in a tight uniform you barely earned trust with tells you she “studied human mating rituals” and halfway through oral she just stops to ask if groping is considered a greeting on Earth. I laughed so hard my Spotify playlist looped the same track three times, but I still clicked “Yes, sure, totally normal.” The corruption stuff creeps up on you. At first you’re trying to be a noble hero, pick the “romance” options in dialogues, go for cute kisses and normal vaginal sex, and two in-game days later you’re casually asking a futa officer from engineering if she can help you “relax” before a landing because her cock bulge has been distracting you for three scenes straight. I wish they’d tone down the stat grinding, but they won’t and honestly I still kept chasing that one scene where the prim science milf pretends she hates you, then pins you to the lab table, spits on your dick and jerks you off while lecturing you on alien DNA. There is a creampie ending with her that feels almost too romantic, considering five minutes before she threatened to throw you in an airlock. And yeah, the incest subplot sneaks in like a bad idea on Telegram at midnight: you swear you’re not going to touch it, then your “close relative” shows up in a tight suit, calls you by that nickname only old fans of the dev’s previous games will recognize, hugs you a bit too long, and suddenly your moral compass goes out the window. The animation is simple but nasty in the right way, tits bouncing, drool strings during oral, cum dripping out lazily after you pull out. There’s this titfuck scene where the camera just stays too long on the slow glide of her big soft breasts around your shaft, and you forget the whole “save the scouts, secure a planet” thing exists at all. Anyway, I still don’t know why the inventory has that one useless item that never does anything and it annoys me every time I see it sitting there, but whatever. Space is horny, people are worse, and this ship is absolutely not fit for respectable colonization.

Second year at Wentford is supposed to be about skipping lectures, half‑assed lab reports and maybe getting laid at some drunk dorm party if you’re lucky. Instead, you blow up one after‑class experiment, wake up with a dick, tits, curves and a body that can’t decide if it wants to be the heroine of a romance VN or the main attraction of Pornhub’s weirdest search page. The game throws you right into that “oh shit” feeling: you’re still you, same memories, same best friend from childhood, same crushes, but now every shower, every locker room, every crowded hallway in campus hits different. People you knew look at you in a new way. Some stare. Some pretend they don’t, then you catch them in the mirror. The whole vibe is “I’m not supposed to be turned on by this” while you’re very obviously turned on by this. It’s funny too, in that stupid meme way. The script has dumb jokes about bad chemistry puns, Dragon Ball references that are slightly wrong on purpose, and horny banter that actually sounds like Discord chat, not like some old dude trying to write “modern youth”. One moment you’re trying to figure out your schedule, next moment your professor bends over the desk and your new dick has its own plans. There is this scene in the lab, where you try to hide a raging futa boner behind a clipboard while your best friend talks about reaction yields, and the animation focuses on her lips way more than on the glassware. It’s not subtle. At all.

Sex stuff ramps up slowly if you want, then suddenly you’re juggling a horny roommate with big tits who “accidentally” walks around in a crop top, a milf neighbor who brings you homemade cookies and checks your “recovery”, and a bunch of girls at campus who think you’re the coolest freak accident ever. Sometimes it’s soft and romantic, kissing in the rain near the dorms, slow handjob in the dark, quiet little I‑love‑you that feels too real. Then next route it’s you buried between a thick ass and a pillow, watching your own cock slide into someone while another girl sits on your face, and you’re like, yeah ok, this escalated. There is lesbian stuff, there is full futa on girl pounding, there is anal that starts with teasing and ends with a messy creampie where you didn’t expect it, there is even that one scene where you get a footjob on the couch while another girl pretends to watch Netflix on her phone. Animations are short loops but they hit the right spots: hips rolling, cum spurts, tongue on clit, subtle ass jiggle. I like that they show the body transformation not just as “haha now you’re hot” but as corruption too. Your choices push you toward being caring and romantic, or a voyeur creep spying through doors, or a jealous cheater who fucks someone raw then still goes home to cuddle another girl like nothing happened. The interracial stuff slips in like it’s no big deal, which I personally like, but some people might want more build‑up there. I kinda wish the school parts had more actual studying, more chemistry puzzles or something, but who am I kidding, nobody loads an eroge for balanced academia. I opened it “just to check it out” on my phone, next thing I know I’m doing route math in a Google Keep note and replaying that scene where your best friend slowly goes from shy curiosity to grinding on your lap in the dorm chair. And there was something I wanted to say about titfucking in the bathroom stall, but now I’m thinking about the corrupted version of that same girl later, when she offers herself to a whole group like it’s totally natural, and I forgot what my point was. Anyway, the game is one long, horny identity crisis with big asses, big choices and that special kind of campus chaos where every door you open might have someone masturbating behind it, including you.

Guy thinks he is in a normal sweet marriage, vanilla as hell. Morning kisses, boring selfies in the kitchen, Netflix, soft sex where you both kind of know what will happen. She blushes when you touch her, you feel proud because you keep it “pure”. That kind of vibe. Game starts very calm, like some comfy romance manga that accidentally loaded on the wrong website.

Then this stranger woman walks in and the whole thing just… tilts.

She is not subtle at all. She looks at your wife like she is already naked, but at the same time she looks at you like you are a toy she already broke in her head. I like how the game does it very quiet in the beginning. No big drama, just small scenes: a “friendly” hand on your wife’s lower back, a slightly too long eye contact when you catch her changing clothes reflected in a window, her sitting across the table and spreading her legs just a little, enough to make you wonder if you imagined it. The dev leans hard on that voyeur feeling, like you are peeking into your own life from the outside and still getting hard from it.

What got me is how the game keeps poking your idea of being a good husband. You want just normal missionary with your cute wife, lights half off, nothing extreme. She wants that too, she is shy, she trusts you, she believes you will protect her. And then the stranger starts texting. “Did you fuck her like I told you?” You start checking your phone during sex, which is honestly fucked up and also very hot in this context. There is one scene where you are inside your wife and the stranger is outside the door, talking loud on purpose so your wife hears her voice and gets nervous. You watch your wife trying to relax, trying to pretend it is fine, and you feel your dick get harder from her tension. I hated that about myself. I loved that the game made me hate that.

As a purist I came in for simple romance, kissing, some softcore cg, a bit of teasing, and I get dragged into this slow netorare spiral that feels too real. There is barely any wild kink, no whips flying around, nothing like that. It hurts more because everything looks like everyday life, just twisted. A hand on her thigh in a car. A “try this dress, I think your husband will like it” moment where the dress is too short for any normal day. A harmless “girls’ night” that suddenly has pictures from a club sent to your phone while you are home alone, jerking off to the thought that maybe someone else is touching her on the dance floor. You do not see everything directly, sometimes you only get a hint, a blurry photo, a shadow. Your brain fills the gaps and it is worse than any porn.

There is this one small thing that annoyed me: the chat sound effect is way too loud on my headphones and I keep reaching for the volume slider in Spotify instead of the browser, every damn time, and it breaks the mood for a second. Then she sends another picture of your wife’s panties pulled aside and you forget the sound again. I also kept fighting with the choices. You pick “No, I will stay loyal” and the scene still finds a way to make you complicit, like the stranger is saying “you can pretend you are resisting, but I see what you are really looking at.” It is frustrating in a good way and in a bad way. Some people will hate that, but honestly that is the point of this title. It is not here to make you a hero, it is here to push that ugly question: how much of your so-called pure love is just you wanting to own her body completely.

The sex itself is not crazy complex, mostly regular stuff, but the timing is brutal. Vaginal scenes that should feel romantic get corrupted by a door half open, a phone on the nightstand lighting up, the memory of how your wife smiled a bit too bright after spending time with the stranger. There is a moment where she says “I am yours” while you are fucking her and you remember the way the stranger’s hand rested on her hip earlier. You keep thrusting anyway. You tell yourself you are still the good guy. The game just quietly watches you lie to yourself.

You’re this fresh business school grad who thought life was going to be Excel sheets, boring clients, and maybe vanilla sex with your fiancée on weekends. Instead you end up living in her family’s house, sleeping in the same place you “politely” visited before, except now everyone watches you like they’re trying to decide if you’re future son-in-law material or just a convenient hard cock they can poke to see what happens. The game leans hard into that tension. Breakfast scenes where you’re trying to act like a decent guy while your fiancée’s mom bends over in front of you in a way no normal mom does, tight shirt, nipples almost visible, asking innocent questions while her eyes drop just a bit too low. The teasing feels personal, not cartoonish. Like, you’re on the couch pretending to care about some movie, and she brushes past you, her hand just lightly touching your thigh, then nothing. No big announcement. Just that slow “am I imagining this” build that makes the later groping feel earned and dirty as hell.

What I liked way more than I expected: the game does not treat the main guy as some porn robot who just fucks anything that breathes without thinking. He’s horny, yeah, but there are these little inner monologue moments where he hesitates before cheating on Anna, or at least tries to. There’s a scene where Anna gives you this sweet, clumsy oral while clearly still kind of a good girl, then later that same day her older relative brushes your crotch under the table like it’s nothing. The choice to push it further or pull back hits different when you know you’re about to blow a load in someone who is not your fiancée, in the same house, with her maybe walking in. When the game finally lets you go full harem brain and start juggling multiple women, the writing remembers they’re not just walking holes. Some are shy, some are bossy, some pretend they don’t want it while their bodies scream yes, which raises that whole consent question in a virtual space: are we just reenacting bad porn logic, or is the game actually checking in on what “yes” means, even if it’s pixels and code? It feels weirdly important when you’re lining up a creampie in someone who just called you “family” five minutes earlier.

The explicit stuff is not shy at all. Anal scenes show up after a good amount of teasing, not right away, usually as a “special favor” or a moment when a character is trying to prove she trusts you more than the others. Virginity is treated like a real turning point. There’s one first-time vaginal scene where the girl is clearly nervous, you can back off or keep going, and even though it’s obviously scripted, it scratches that part of the brain asking “is this still okay?” more than most porn games bother to. Oral is everywhere, from quick stress-relief blowjobs in the hallway to slow, eye contact heavy sucking that almost feels too intimate for a random click-through. The animated sex makes all this way more intense than just static CGs. When you push a character down and start groping her while she pretends to resist then melts into it, the looped motion, the slight changes in expression, they hit that line between fantasy and “wait, am I being an asshole?” which, honestly, is kind of what a lot of players come here for but never say out loud. As an ethics nerd, I kept thinking how this whole setup normalizes cheating and power imbalance, yet here I am, replaying the scene where you finish inside someone you absolutely should not be creampying, and then checking their face for regret like it matters. That’s the game’s real kink: not just fucking, but making you sit in that space where your dick and your conscience don’t fully agree, and still clicking “continue”.

Corporate drone by day, walking hard-on by night, that’s kinda the vibe here. You’re this fresh grad stuck in a bland bank job, numbers and spreadsheets and fake smiles, then you move into your fiancée Anna’s house and suddenly it’s like someone patched a porn mod into your life. Her mom? Straight-up milf energy every time she leans over the kitchen table, blouse just a little too loose, eyes staying on you a little too long. Her “aunt” who’s not really an aunt? Those long slow hugs that last one second past normal, nails scratching your neck. The teasing is constant, it’s like the game is edging you on purpose. Hand brushing your crotch “by accident”, sitting on your lap while “helping” with a laptop issue, those shower scenes where the door doesn’t close all the way and you just stand there, dick straining, deciding how far you wanna go.

Sex scenes are full animated and honestly pretty hot for something that still feels a bit janky around the edges. There’s this one early scene where you finally lose it and take a girl’s virginity on the couch, her legs shaking, your dick sliding in slow, her trying to keep quiet because people are sleeping upstairs. Camera angle from behind, her ass bouncing on your lap, little wet sounds, her hand clamped over her mouth. It starts all sweet and clumsy and then shifts into you absolutely railing her, pulling hair, fingers digging into her hips, finishing deep inside and watching that white drip out when you pull back. Game really loves its creampies, like it keeps zooming in on that mess leaking out of used holes and it never really gets old. Vaginal, anal, blowjob on the stairs where she’s trying not to choke but clearly loving it, it escalates fast once you stop pretending to be loyal.

Under all the fucking there’s a light harem thing going on, you slowly collecting girls from this “family and friends” circle, each with their own scenes, some cheating drama, plenty of groping in crowded rooms where nobody is supposed to notice. You’re meant to feel a tiny bit guilty about Anna, but the game sort of laughs at that and hands you more willing holes. Story pretends to be serious at times, with secrets and money stuff at the bank, but mostly it’s just an excuse to get you into more situations where some older woman is on her knees, lips shiny, looking up while she strokes you and asks if you’re really going to marry someone else. Plays like a porn series where you’re the main stud, choices nudging who gets your load and where, and the house slowly turns from “family home” into your personal fuck palace without anyone really saying that out loud.

The whole thing starts pretty low-key: burned-out dev guy, stolen app, goes back to his hometown because everything in the city went to shit. On paper it sounds like one of those sad grindy life sims, but in practice it turns into this messy, horny sandbox where every “normal” place from childhood suddenly has someone with ridiculous curves and questionable boundaries hanging around. It feels like the engine was made for a mid-tier mobile RPG first, then the dev just kept stacking lewd interactions on top of it until the dialogue system started creaking. Sometimes the text queues lag half a second on my phone and the girl is already moaning in the animation before the line pops up, which accidentally makes it dirtier, like you’re catching her mid-thought. On PC browser it’s smoother, Chrome handled most scenes better than Firefox for me, especially the animated stuff with group action and multiple camera moves, but you can feel the budget when several bodies and particles fill the screen and the fps briefly dies while a creampie finishes.

What really sells it is how unclean the pacing is. You might be chatting about your stolen app one moment, then you click the “wrong” response and suddenly you’re groping a stacked aunt-type character in the hallway while she half-heartedly pretends to say no, and you can either stop or double down into full-on blackmail path. The incest angle is never subtle. The game just leans into it with those “we shouldn’t do this” lines while her tits are basically trying to escape her top. There’s this backyard punishment scene where you can choose between spanking, making her suck you off under the porch light, or going straight to anal if you played your cards right earlier. The animation there is surprisingly explicit: ass jiggle, ahegao, drool, the whole porn hub starter pack, but the lighting bugs out if you rotate the camera too fast and her shadow looks like some kind of cursed mannequin. I sort of love that it’s not polished, though. Same with the footjob scene in the living room, her toes clipping slightly through the cock, but the expression on her face sells it anyway and the sound design is filthy in the best way. On my Android phone the UI buttons overlap during those closer shots, so the “back” button floats awkwardly next to her open mouth and I keep almost clicking it when I just want to watch the throat bulge during oral.

Story tries to pretend it cares about romance routes and “healing your roots”, then an hour later you’re in what is basically a small-town BDSM circuit, sharing toys between girls and acting like it’s normal neighbor stuff. One girl you meet through the app subplot starts out as a shy virgin, then you unlock a masturbation scene where you spy on her with the very tech that was stolen from you, so it has this nice voyeuristic loop: you were wronged, now you’re the creep. Later on, if you push her, she goes from handjob in your room to titfuck in the office and finally this messy vaginal scene on a desk that’s clearly not built for physics, because items vibrate slightly while you pound her. I had one group sex event in a cramped bedroom where the camera had to choose which big ass to focus on and the AI decided to zoom right into a side angle of a toy slipping in and out, ignoring the girl sucking you off at the same time. It’s chaotic and oddly hot. The RPG bits keep poking their head in too: stats gates for anal, “obedience” checks before you can cum inside for a creampie ending, little text notes about whether she stays a good girl or starts begging for more. Romance flags exist, but the game never punishes you for juggling several women, it just quietly tracks who you’ve tied up, who you’ve watched through cameras, who you’ve turned into your personal cum dump. Sometimes I wish they’d smooth the UI scaling for smaller screens or fix that annoying delay when switching from map to bedroom scenes, but also, if it ever became super clean and corporate, it would lose half of this dirty, slightly wrong charm that makes the whole hometown full of sex toys, spanking, and bad decisions feel like a broken app you keep opening anyway.