This merchant simulator hits different when you realize the "trade goods" include way more than spices and silk. Valencia's got this weird energy where everyone's horny and politically charged at the same time - like walking into a brothel during election season. Your shopkeeper protagonist isn't just counting coins, he's navigating a web of futa merchants, trans nobles, and regular folks who all want something from his... inventory.

The political angle actually works here because selling weapons to rebels while also supplying the crown creates this constant tension that bleeds into every interaction. One minute you're haggling over sword prices with some gruff captain, next minute she's bent over your counter asking for a "personal discount." The AI-generated dialogue can be janky as hell sometimes - characters will switch from discussing trade routes to propositioning you mid-sentence like they're having a stroke. But honestly? That unpredictability keeps things interesting when you're trying to figure out which faction leader wants to fuck you versus which one wants to fuck you over.

Multiple endings mean your choices actually matter, though some paths feel rushed compared to others. The futa content is surprisingly well-integrated - not just tacked on fetish fuel but actual characters with motivations beyond having dicks. There's this one storyline with a trans guild leader that starts as pure business negotiation and evolves into something genuinely compelling, even if the sex scenes feel a bit mechanical. Valencia itself becomes almost like another character - this living, breathing city where your reputation shifts based on who you're literally and figuratively screwing. The fantasy setting lets them get away with some wild political scenarios that would be impossible in a modern context, and the 2D art style keeps everything feeling cohesive even when the writing gets messy.

Idle Waifu feels like one of those games you open in another tab “just to check something” and then suddenly your tea is cold and your dick is tired. It’s super simple on the surface, like those cheap idle clickers you play on your phone when pretending to answer Slack messages, but here the whole point is staring at horny anime girls auto-grinding their levels while you plan which outfit you wanna tear off next. The loop is dumb in a good way: numbers go up, affection goes up, clothes get shorter, animations get nastier. You don’t need a guide, you just poke around, click stuff, watch bars fill and asses jiggle. Feels almost like cheating, like the game is doing all the work and you’re just the pervert supervisor.

The real hook is how every outfit basically feels like you bought a new porn loop for that girl. One moment she’s in some half-assed “casual” clothes that already look too slutty for outside, next she’s in a micro bikini, then some cosplay that looks like they asked ChatGPT “make me a priest outfit but filthy” and just accepted the first answer. A lot of it clearly AI cooked, faces a bit too perfect, hair not completely matching, sometimes the boobs look like they could break physics, but it kinda fits the lazy horny vibe. You grind for gold, buy that new outfit, hit the scene, and suddenly she’s riding cock with 3 speeds like you’re scrolling through TikTok, except every swipe is just “faster, faster, ok now I’m actually clenching”. The speed control is funny, like watching a porn gif in VLC and mashing plus key. Slow for edging, medium for “yeah this looks like sex”, max speed for “this is a jackhammer from hell and I respect it”.

What I liked most is this trashy mix of chill and depraved. You can literally leave it on, go answer messages on WhatsApp or doomscroll Twitter, then come back and boom, enough points to unlock another outfit where she’s dripping wet and bouncing on dick like it’s a pogo stick. Sometimes the loops are a bit too short, like you’re about to cum and the animation resets, and your brain goes “bro, just five more frames please”. Some of the body types feel copy pasted too, like the AI only learned “titty big = good” and never took a day of anatomy class. But then you unlock one scene where she’s pinned, thighs shaking, tits slapping against her chest while she’s getting pounded from below, and any complaint just melts out of your head. I wish there was more “cruel” stuff, more bad endings where she clearly had enough and you still don’t stop, but that’s my broken taste speaking. Here it’s softer, more “endless horny loop” than tragic fall, yet there is still this tiny sadness when you realize you’re grinding affection with a virtual doll made by another virtual brain. Anyway. Dare to play it alone, or keep it running in a hidden tab while pretending to check your email, I’m not your dad.

Michael is that dude everybody has in the office. Quiet, smart in a boring way, always fixing printers and pretending Excel is his religion, but completely clueless when a girl even looks at him for longer than three seconds. The game throws you straight into his head while he is already stuck in this bland routine: go to work, stare at screens, go home, jerk off, repeat. No trauma, no crazy ex, just… life that slowly numbed his dick and his brain at the same time. Then Penelope shows up again in his life, childhood friend with big energy, big mouth, and yeah, big everything if you like that anime style. She bullies him into that dating app, and from there stuff goes from “haha lonely IT guy” to “why the fuck are there suddenly so many hot women orbiting this dude” real fast.

What I liked is how messy it feels in a good way. One moment you are just answering texts on the app, trying to choose between sounding like a normal adult or a total coomer, next moment the scene cuts and you are staring at an AI generated girl in lingerie, with eyes that look like she knows exactly how long you last and is judging you a bit. The art goes from soft and romantic to “okay that’s porn” with basically no warning. There is this one early scene where Michael is exhausted after work, Penelope calls him on video, flops on her bed, her shirt rides up a bit, and you are there sitting with a choice like “look away” or “keep talking like nothing happens” while the camera just lovingly focuses on her thighs. It is horny in that slow burn way, not instant gangbang explosion, more like edging with dialogue. The mystery they tease in the background is actually kind of funny because it pops up right in between fap moments, like you are in the middle of a really sweet blowjob CG and your brain suddenly goes “wait that thing the app did earlier was weird as hell”. They never fully explain it early on, just small details like wrong profile data, déjà vu in conversations, girls acting like they know you from somewhere, little uncanny stuff that crawls under the romance.

I will say, some of the AI images look hot as fuck from far away, but if you stare too long at the hands or small objects, the illusion starts falling apart. Nipples are blessed though, whoever tuned those prompts deserves a raise. Sometimes the lighting is inconsistent between shots of the same scene and it pulled me out for two seconds, then the dev throws a close up on wet lips and my brain forgets to complain. Dialogue is hit and miss: Penelope feels alive, a bit of a brat, texting like someone who lives on Reddit and TikTok at the same time, while a couple of other girls talk like ChatGPT tried to roleplay “horny anime waifu”. Not awful, just a bit stiff when everything else is trying to be sweaty and awkward and human. There was one route intro where I literally alt tabbed to Telegram mid-scene, came back, and it still felt like the same line looped again, but then it hit me with a CG of the girl bending over in an office skirt and my attention magically healed. That dumb little notification sound from the dating app also started living rent free in my skull, to the point I checked my actual phone twice. I kinda wish Penelope was more jealous and unhinged, like full “yandere but pretending to be wholesome” territory, but I know they will never push her that far and I hate that I know it. Still, when she finally drops her guard and you see her horny side peek out in text, there is this tiny flicker of “oh shit this could go very wrong in a good way”. And then you click next, waiting for either kisses or disaster. Or both.

You know that guy in the office who flirts too much, stares at tits a little too long, somehow still keeps his job because he knows where all the bodies are buried? In this game, that guy is you, and HR already gave up. You torched your old career by fucking around with the boss’s daughter and teasing half the female staff until the whole place looked like a hentai forum thread you shouldn’t scroll at work. The parent company can’t fire you without risking all their dirty secrets getting leaked, so they ship you off to a new branch and lock you into “100% remote work” like that’s going to stop your dick from ruining lives. It starts so harmless too: video calls with your new coworkers, polite emails, Slack messages that should be boring… but the corruption creeps in fast. A harmless compliment about a tight skirt. A “camera accidentally still on” moment after a shower. A late-night report where she’s wearing a blouse that really doesn’t want to stay buttoned. You’re supposed to behave. You absolutely don’t.

The fun part is how the game lets you poke at their limits. The girls all start out like normal coworkers, the kind you’d follow on Instagram and pretend you’re not zooming in on their pics. There’s the one who pretends to be a professional but is clearly thirsty for attention every time she leans too close to the webcam, boobs practically begging for an HR ticket. The boss’s daughter pops up again, and this time she’s pretending she’s “more mature now”, while stretching on camera so her big tits almost fall out of her top. Half the time you’re reading emails, the other half you’re choosing if you play it nice, act like a creep, or slowly corrupt them so they’re the ones asking you to stay in the call a little longer. There’s voyeur stuff too, but not in a subtle way. Sometimes the game throws you into these “remote access” scenes where suddenly you’re watching her in her bedroom, phone propped at a weird angle, ass filling half the screen while she thinks nobody is watching. You know that slightly messy AI generated look where the ass is too perfect and the boobs look like they cost half a salary? Yeah, that. It’s not “art”, but it hits that dirty brain spot.

What I liked is how your choices can fuck up everything without a big pop-up yelling at you. You go too hard too fast with one girl, she pulls away, suddenly your video meetings are all cold and formal, and the route quietly locks itself into the “you pushed it, now deal with it” ending. Another time, you play innocent for a while, pretending you care about her workload, and she starts teasing you herself, legs up on the desk during a call, panties clearly visible, pretending she doesn’t notice. Sometimes the endings are weirdly soft, sometimes they’re just “ok you fucked her, credits”, and sometimes the boss shows up and things get way more complicated and way more hot than they should be for an office game. Not everything looks perfect, some AI scenes have that slightly off vibe where a hand is like “what is that finger doing”, but honestly it kind of fits the dirty, not-quite-legal style of the whole story. You’re not here for gallery-level art, you’re here to be a corrupt bastard with a work laptop and too much access to horny coworkers, and the game really leans into that, then pretends it’s about “productivity”.