Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

First time I launched *House of Shinobi*, I kinda laughed because the main menu music tried *so hard* to sound grand and brooding that it looped in this weird offbeat way - almost like the composer’s laptop was overheating. But then something strange happened. I got pulled in. The way the game paces itself - slow, quiet scenes between sudden bursts of raw, filthy intensity - reminds me of watching late-night anime on a borrowed DVD player when the volume button didn’t work and you had to ride the tension between “God, this is hot” and “Please don't let anyone walk in.” That feeling’s still there, buried under all the messy UI. I swear I stared at the save screen for full five minutes wondering which thumbnail was my actual progress. But that’s kind of the point: it’s accidental intimacy mixed with clunky obsession.

When the game goes erotic, it doesn’t hold back. The moans aren’t cleanly recorded; they’re layered like someone mixed them through an old cassette filter, and somehow it fits better than most ‘HD’ adult games. The scenes with Tsunade and Hinata hit different moods - one warm and messy, the other oddly gentle, like you’re being dared to keep eye contact. It’s not just pixel art but deliberate rhythm: the breathing, the softened thuds, the moment right before a slap lands. Even the humiliation stuff - which I usually skip - felt written by someone who hates and loves their characters at once. That inner contradiction, man… it gets under your skin.

The funny part? Every now and then, the sandbox sections drag you into managing chores or wandering alleyways, like filler episodes in the middle of chaos. I both hated and loved it. It kinda reminded me of grinding in *Honey Select* but with accidental moral consequences. And let’s be honest: nobody needs a moral lesson after three back-to-back creampie routes, yet when Kushina looks at you afterward and says nothing, that silence lingers. Maybe the game isn’t trying to say anything deep. Or maybe it’s mocking the idea that desire ever needed a reason. I still don’t like the font, though.

Kasumi Rebirth feels like catching someone’s private mod folder that accidentally got pushed live and nobody had the heart to stop it. It’s just Kasumi, chained up, not doing the “cool ninja” thing at all, and the whole game is basically you seeing how far you can push her body before you get bored or feel weird about yourself. She hangs there in those metal restraints, soft skin, big tits squeezed by the outfit that you immediately start ripping off, because of course you do. There is no fake romance, no “story” pretending this isn’t what it is. You poke her, grab her, slide hands over her tits, pinch her nipples a bit too hard, then harder, just to see if the reaction changes. It turns into this quiet little lab experiment: what if I put fingers in her pussy first, then in her ass, then both, then ignore both and just use her tits like they are toys made of warm jelly. The game doesn’t judge. It just lets you be a freak in peace.

The main loop of Kasumi Rebirth is strangely hypnotic: click, drag, spread her legs, tilt her hips, line her up for doggystyle, then get distracted and go back to playing with her mouth. You pull her head back, slide a dildo between her lips, watch those eyes say everything without a single line of dialog. Deepthroat her with plastic, then switch holes like a bored god with too much free time. Pussy, ass, mouth, back to pussy, then push it in her asshole again just because you like the way she tightens around it. You can masturbate her slowly, tease her clit until she twitches, then ram something inside and go straight for a rough creampie like the concept of foreplay never existed. Cumshots on her face, on her breasts, slipping down her body, and at some point I tried to see if I could cover both tits perfectly and got annoyed because one drop kept sliding off the side in a stupid way that distracted me more than it should. There is also this breast expansion thing going on that feels like someone’s late-night fever dream: you start tweaking and pumping and suddenly her big tits are not just big, they are ridiculous, heavy, almost comical, but somehow it works because this game stopped pretending to be “normal” a long time ago. It is rough, it is ***-y, it is torture dressed up as “gentle play”, and yet the whole thing has this old-school Internet porn game energy that makes you keep testing one more position, one more angle, one more messy facial, just to see how far Kasumi’s body can be turned into a toy before you finally close the tab and swear you’re done with Dead or Alive girls forever.

Princess Zelda here is not the noble wise girl from the usual Nintendo stuff. She is passed out drunk on a small table like after some shitty village party, legs open, clothes still “kind of” on, and you are basically the invisible bastard deciding what happens to her. The game throws you right into it, no slow intro, just Zelda sleeping with that messy blonde hair and big tits almost falling out, and three guys already around her like hyenas. It feels like a nasty extra scene ripped out from Breath of the Wild, but more like if a horny modder went completely crazy after drinking too much. You’re poking, pulling, stripping pieces of clothing off, checking how the panties slide down her thighs, how the bra gets pushed under those tits. The sleep thing is weirdly hot and also kind of fucked up, she never wakes up, she just moans and reacts with her body. It’s like the game is saying “yeah, we know this is wrong, and you’re still clicking” and honestly, I kept clicking.

What I liked a lot is how everything is hidden behind clicks that are not explained. There is no big UI, you just tap around like some perv searching for secrets. You touch her boobs, they bounce, her nipples harden, a guy moves in closer. You rub her pussy, the panties slowly get shifted, then suddenly you’re looking at her shaved slit and already deciding if you go straight for anal first or not. That choice is funny because I kept changing my mind, going “ok pussy first, no wait, that ass is too nice, shit, go back.” There is this moment when you finally line her ass up and push in, and her sleeping face does this tiny reaction, like a half-frown, half-pleasure look, and it got me more than the full-on bukkake later. Speaking of that, the cumshots are everywhere, on her face, boobs, belly, and the game lets you overdo it until she looks like someone spilled a whole bottle of glue on her. I got annoyed that sometimes the cum doesn’t land exactly where I expected, I kept trying to cover one nipple perfectly and it always missed by like two pixels, and I still don’t know why that pissed me off so much.

Then there’s the futa thing, which is half hidden like some naughty Easter egg. You click near the bottle, suddenly Zelda has a cock, and it somehow fits her too well. Watching her sleep while her own dick is hard is a strange mix of cute and totally degenerate. I spent too long just teasing it, making it twitch while the guys still use her holes, because it felt like solving a small dirty puzzle: “how many things can be happening on this girl at the same time without the scene breaking.” When she finally shoots her load, it mixes with the other cum already on her body, and the whole screen looks like a porn painter lost control. It’s not a complicated game, it’s literally just clicking and dragging and trying different spots, but the way it’s built makes you feel like you found some forbidden Zelda cartridge under your bed when you were a teen, only this time you actually get to see her fucked unconscious and drained from both ends. I kind of hate how much I liked it.