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AI JERK OFF
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You know, sometimes I really think about how strange it is that movies for kids become places where people make the wildest adult stuff. Like with these Big Hero 6 Hentai Games, it is honestly crazy how much content there is for something that is technically Disney. But I guess Aunt Cass is the reason why most of us are here anyway, right? She has become like this internet legend for being way too hot for a cartoon aunt who just runs a cafe. I remember loading up one of these games last week and honestly the loading screen took forever which is annoying because my internet is usually okay, but when it finally started, the art style was totally different from the movie. It looked more like anime but bad anime. Still, the scenes with Cass were surprisingly good even if the dialogue made zero sense. They always make her say things nobody would ever say in real life, super desperate stuff. It makes me laugh a little bit while playing but then you get distracted by the animation which is sometimes weirdly smooth in the wrong places. I wish the creators would focus more on the actual gameplay instead of just skipping to the sex scenes so fast, but I know nobody really cares about the plot in these flash games anyway.

I played this one game where you are Hiro but older, obviously, because otherwise it is weird, and you have to fix Baymax but somehow fixing the robot leads to peeping on Honey Lemon changing clothes. It is such a stupid setup. Why is Honey Lemon always stuck in the shower or changing room in every single one of these games? The developers have no imagination sometimes. It is always the same three scenarios. But honestly, the chemistry lab level was kind of fun because you had to mix potions to make an aphrodisiac gas or something. I failed the mixing game like five times because the buttons were small and my mouse was acting up. It made me so frustrated I almost closed the tab. But then I finally got it right and the reward scene was... okay, I guess. The sound effects were too loud though. I always turn the sound off immediately because if someone walks by my room I am dead, but also the moan sounds are usually just generic stock noises that do not match the character at all. It breaks the immersion when Honey Lemon sounds like a totally different person. I really hate when they do that.

There is also this weird obsession with Gogo Tomago in the Big Hero 6 Hentai Games community. She is cool with the chewing gum and the bike, I get it, but some games make her personality so mean. Like, too mean. She steps on you and insults you for five minutes before anything sexy happens. I mean maybe some people like that, but I just want to see the action, you know? I found one game that was actually a puzzle game with Gogo where you unlock clothes by solving sliding puzzles. Sliding puzzles are the worst thing ever invented. I hate them so much. I spent twenty minutes moving one square back and forth just to see a picture I could probably just Google. But I kept playing because I have nothing better to do on a Tuesday night. It is funny how addictive bad games can be when you are horny. You tell yourself "just one more level" and suddenly it is an hour later and you are still trying to beat a high score in a porn game. It makes you feel kind of empty after. But the art in that puzzle game was actually really high quality, like professional level drawing. It is a shame they wasted it on a sliding puzzle mechanic. I wish they made it an RPG instead. An RPG where you can explore San Fransokyo would be cool, but all we get are these point and click things.

Sometimes I wonder if the people making these actually watched the movie or just saw pictures of Aunt Cass on Twitter. There was a game I played yesterday where Baymax was not even a robot, he was just a big guy in a suit. It was so lazy. And Hiro’s hair was the wrong color. Details matter, guys! If I am looking for specific characters, I want them to look like themselves. But then again, I am playing free browser games so I probably should not complain so much. It is free entertainment. The best part is usually the comments section under the game where people are fighting about which girl is best. It is always a war between Cass and Honey Lemon fans. I think the Aunt Cass fans are winning because there are just so many more games for her. It is kind of impressive how a side character took over the whole fandom. I guess being thick is the most important superpower.

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It is funny how fast the internet moves when a new character drops, but for Big Hero 6 Hentai Games, the hype never really died down even though the movie is old now. People are just obsessed with Aunt Cass. I swear, half the games on this list are just "Aunt Cass Simulator" or something like that. I played one recently where you literally just manage her cafe but the customers pay you in favors instead of money. It was surprisingly complicated. I had to manage the coffee bean inventory and everything. I came for the porn and stayed for the business management simulation, which says a lot about me I guess. The sex scenes were just static images though, which was a huge letdown. I hate when you click through five minutes of dialogue just to get a picture that doesn't even move. It feels like a waste of time. But the game had nice music. It was this smooth jazz loop that played over and over until it got stuck in my head for three days. I was humming it at the grocery store and then remembered where I heard it and felt guilty.

Speaking of guilty, the way some of these Big Hero 6 Hentai Games treat Honey Lemon is wild. She is so sweet in the movie but in these games she is always getting into trouble or getting stuck in walls. The "stuck in the wall" trope is so overused, please stop doing it. I played three games in a row where she was stuck in a window, a dryer, and a vent. Who gets stuck in a dryer? She is tall and thin, she would just crawl out! It makes no logical sense. But whatever, logic is not why we are playing these. I remember one specific game where you play as the villain, Yokai, and you use the microbots to do... lewd things. The physics on the microbots were actually programmed really well. They moved like a fluid. I spent way too long just playing with the little black robots before I even got to the girls. It is weird when the developer puts more effort into the tech demo part than the actual girls. The girls looked a bit blocky, like PS1 characters, but the bots were HD. Priorities, I guess.

Also, can we talk about Fred? Why is he in some of these? Nobody wants to see Fred. I opened a game thinking it was going to be Gogo and suddenly Fred jumps out in his monster suit. Instant close tab. Scary stuff. It ruins the mood completely. I wish there was a filter to remove him from all games forever. But sometimes you find a hidden gem that surprises you. There was a visual novel style game I found deep in the pages, probably on page 10 or something, where the writing was actually funny. Like, legitimately funny jokes about super hero tropes. I actually read the text instead of skipping it. The sex scenes were animated with Spine or something so they were really smooth, breathing and moving properly. It is rare to see that level of polish. Usually, it is just two frames swapping back and forth. That developer deserves an award or something. But then the game just ended on a cliffhanger and said "to be continued" and the last update was four years ago. That is the worst pain. Finding a good game that will never be finished.

I really dislike when the user interface covers the important parts of the image. I was playing this one where the text box was huge and opaque and it covered up Aunt Cass’s chest completely. What is the point? I tried to find a hide UI button but there wasn't one. I was clicking every key on my keyboard. Space, H, Esc, nothing worked. I just had to look at her face and imagine the rest. It was so annoying. Developers need to make the text box transparent or movable. It is basic design! But I guess they are doing this for free in their basement so I can't be too mad. The variety is good at least. You have puzzle games, RPGs, visual novels, simulators. Even if half of them are buggy messes that crash your browser, the other half keeps you busy for a while. I just hope they stop making Fred games. Seriously.
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