This thing calls itself “Life is Vanilla” but it’s really that messy, horny, half-true story everyone swears they’ll never tell in public, then dumps in a group chat after three beers. You’re in control of this awkward 18-year-old guy who talks big, watches way too much porn on his phone, and still loses eye contact whenever a girl actually pulls her top halfway up. It has that vibe of early uni convention season, where you’re juggling class, cheap weed, cosplay plans and wondering how the hell other people are already fucking in bathroom stalls while you’re arguing about Marvel canon. The tone jumps a lot: one moment it’s goofy jokes and dumb memes, then suddenly you’re watching your character get his first handjob in a cramped room and the camera just stays there, way too intimate, like you accidentally opened someone’s private Snapchat. It’s all 3D styled in a way that sometimes looks hot as hell and sometimes looks like everyone got slightly too much botox, but somehow that kinda fits the awkward sex energy. And yes, there is a lot of focus on big tits and big asses, not “tasteful” or subtle, more like the game knows exactly why most people click it.

What actually works for me is how it treats virginity and cheating in the same universe without pretending to be moral about it. Early on you’re still a clueless virgin who freaks out when a girl starts slow teasing, grinding on your lap while still fully dressed, just her shirt riding up and your brain short-circuits. Then later, you’re in these situations where some girl who absolutely should not be touching you is doing it anyway, like a “I have a boyfriend but he’s boring” type, sliding her hand into your pants while she keeps talking about totally normal stuff so no one notices. The game doesn’t pause to judge her, it just lets you enjoy the fucked up thrill. There is a scene in a shared apartment kitchen that really stuck with me, the kind of fake-casual exhibitionism where she “accidentally” bends over a bit too far, no panties, pretending to search a lower cabinet while the MC is desperately hiding his boner behind a cereal box. It makes group sex later on feel like a natural train wreck of all the small bad decisions. Of course there’s oral, creampies, clothes coming off in the worst possible order, that thing where a girl spits on your cock first and smiles like she just discovered a cheat code. Weirdly, the only thing that really annoyed me was one shirt texture on a side girl’s outfit that looked cheap as hell. I kept staring at it every time she stripped, which is the most unsexy complaint to have, but it just pulled me out of it and then I’d forget what line I was even reading in the scene. Anyway, it all plays like someone’s overconfident memory of their youth, mixed with shit that obviously didn’t happen, and that chaotic mix is kind of the whole charm, even when it’s trying way too hard and somehow not trying at all at the same time.

Guy gets flattened by discount Truck-kun, respawns in horny Narnia, and the first thing the gods hand him is not wisdom or justice, it’s a cock and plot armor. That’s basically the energy here. You start as this broke college grad who literally failed at life, then wake up in Evenralm where everyone has either massive tits, a perfect ass, pointy ears, horns, or some combo of all three, and nobody owns a bra that actually fits. The world looks like one of those fantasy gacha ads where you pretend you’re there for “story” while one-handed scrolling on your phone. Except here you’re the main character, not the guy who dies in the prologue to motivate someone else. You walk into a random village and every girl talks to you like you’re the only male protagonist on the server. Which, to be fair, you kinda are.

It sells itself as Harem King journey, but the real plot is “how many girls can I accidentally seduce while pretending I’m saving the world from the Demon Lord”. You go from “I can’t pay rent” to “I guess I have to share a campfire with elf mage with big tits and dragon girl with stupidly big ass, oh no, what a tragedy”. Routes feel like scuffed dating sim logic: give wrong answer, girl still blushes, give right answer, she blushes harder and suddenly you’re getting a blowjob behind a tavern after some “training” quest. The animated scenes are the kind where the dev definitely paused a lot of JAV to get angles right. Mouths actually move on oral scenes, hips grind properly during vaginal, thighs jiggle in that “the physics are almost too honest” way. Sometimes the MC talks in the middle of sex and you’re like “shut up dude, nobody came here for your motivational speech”, but then the camera pulls in on an elf riding you like she’s trying to erase your spine and your brain forgives everything again. There’s this one camp scene where half your party is asleep and one of the girls sneaks into your bed, climbs on top, and the only sound is her wet squelch and those tiny gasps, and I swear the text box could have been blank and it still would work. The funny part is I kept telling myself “I’ll just check one more event” and three boss fights later I’m min-maxing affection points like some horny accountant. If you want the good stuff, be weirdly nice in dialog, always pick the slightly pervy joke, and never skip “optional” side quests, because that’s where the thickest scenes hide. Treat every fetch quest like foreplay and every camp chat like a chance to unlock another girl sitting on your face. Do that and the game basically rewards you for being a patient little degenerate.

Boon feels like somebody took all the usual straight dude fantasy crap, tossed it in the trash, then said “nah, let’s make this horny and weird and actually about these two messed up cuties.” You’re basically hanging out inside the head of this male protagonist while his life gets hijacked by a tall trans woman with big everything and a femboy who looks like he escaped from a sissy subreddit. It’s a kinetic novel, so you’re not babysitting choices every two seconds, you’re just dragged along while this “special relationship” between them gets more twisted, hotter, and kind of sweet in a fucked up way. One moment it’s teasing, next moment there’s her hand on his throat and he’s on his knees, then you’re like “wait, did he just moan at being called a good girl?” and yeah, he did.

The scenes ramp up in a way that feels less like porn logic and more like a slow, horny car crash you can’t look away from. You’ve got this big ass, big tits trans dommy who clearly knows she owns the room, and she treats him like a toy she’s training. There’s sissification stuff where he’s getting pushed into panties, make-up, all that humiliating “you’re my cute little thing” talk, and the game doesn’t flinch. She’ll edge him for ages, ride his face, make him choke on her, call him pretty while she’s wrecking his ass, and he’s stuck halfway between “I’m a man” and “please ruin me, mommy.” At some point there’s anal where he’s trying to pretend he’s not loving it and failing hard, and the writing actually sells it. It’s not just “he moans again, wow, so hot,” you get the dirty details, the shame, the way he gets turned on by being powerless. There’s futa-on-male, trap-on-male, some incest flavor lurking around the edges they don’t scream about but it’s there enough to make you feel slightly wrong for liking it. I opened this in another tab while Spotify was playing and legitimately forgot my emails for a while, which is wild because half of the time the characters are just talking and it’s still hotter than half of Pornhub.

What surprised me is how the 3D style actually helps the vibe instead of killing it like in those dead-eyed Unity sex “games.” The bodies look like they belong in this filthy little universe: thick thighs, round asses, tits that practically announce themselves, and the femboy is perfectly in that uncanny spot where you’re not sure if you want to bully him, fuck him, or both. Oral scenes especially hit hard, you can almost feel the spit and the gagging when she pushes too deep. There’s one moment where she shoves him against something, whispers something brutally degrading in his ear, and he just melts, and you’re sitting there thinking “yeah ok I get it now.” And because it’s split into episodes, you get these little arcs where a new kink creeps in, like the teasing moves into harder femdom, or the relationship between the two “subs” shifts from awkward to “I’ll suck you off because she told me to and I secretly love it.” The pacing is all over the place sometimes, like it lingers on stuff that doesn’t matter and rushes stuff that’s insanely hot, but somehow that makes it feel more like you’re watching someone’s fucked up fantasy play out than some polished porn machine. I still hate how one specific sound effect keeps repeating in the background at weird times and it annoyed the hell out of me, but I kept clicking anyway because I wanted to see how far she’d push them in the next scene.

Lena looks like the kind of girl who should be in some boring office job, not standing half naked in a sweat-soaked ring with some psycho redhead trying to choke her out while the crowd yells for more tits. That clash is what makes this game hit different. You don’t start as some overpowered porn goddess, you start as a broke girl stuck in a shit city, dragged into sexfights because her idiot dad couldn’t stay away from cards. New Ipswich feels like one of those places from a trashy crime anime that never got a second season: neon, sleaze, and everyone pretending this is “just business” while they bet on who gets fucked on the mat. The whole sexfighting thing sounds silly on paper, then you’re in your first real match, Lena’s breathing heavy, sweat on her skin, the other girl grabbing her hair, and suddenly the humiliation hits harder than the punches. Either you dominate, or you get used. It’s that simple and that messed up.

The fights are not just button mashing. You switch from strikes and holds into sex moves so fast it feels illegal. One second you’re working a clinch, next second the crowd is chanting for Lena to “open up” and you actually consider it because if she goes full tease, she can flip the mental game. Let an enemy strip her top off in front of the audience and the shame drains her focus, but if you time it right and Lena turns it around, pins the girl, crotch grinding on her face, forcing her to lick while the camera zooms in on every wet detail, suddenly she’s the one owning the exhibition. I had this one match where I played it “nice” for too long, tried to win clean with jabs and throws, and the rival just snapped, mounted Lena, shoved fingers in her, rode her to a sloppy creampie in front of everyone and then walked off like she just claimed a trophy. I actually paused and stared at the screen like: “ok, that escalated.” It’s rude in a good way. Or a bad way. Depends how broken you are.

What caught me off guard is how the game leans into both sides of domination without pretending they are equal. Sometimes Lena is on top, literally sitting on a girl’s face, grabbing her hair, forcing her to eat her out while flashing her big tits to the crowd like she owns the whole damn city. Sometimes it flips and a bigger fighter or some smug guy just treats her like a toy, using her throat, pushing past her limits, making her cum against her will, then leaving her on the sticky canvas with that dazed, fucked-out look. The humiliation is not soft either. They taunt, spit, pull her legs open, finish inside her while the gamblers laugh, and the game just quietly nudges you like: “hey, she still has debts to pay.” It even has these quiet moments in the locker room after, where Lena is leaning against the wall, thighs still trembling, and you’re picking what she does next, who she confronts, whether she chases power or just survives. It almost feels romantic sometimes when she faces another girl who clearly wants her as much as she wants to win, tongue tangled with knuckles, lesbian heat right in the middle of a dirty brawl. Then some asshole promoter reminds you she’s just another body to bet on and the mood dies. That’s kind of the charm though: nothing is clean here. Sex is a weapon, a punishment, a reward, and half the time Lena’s not sure which one she’s holding.