Game hits you in the face right away with Nel’s tits just kind of… there, wobbling in the dialogue box while she talks about totally normal stuff like “energy extraction” that is obviously just milking your cock. It pretends to be a normal visual novel for maybe two clicks, then the grind loop shows up and suddenly you’re timing clicks and watching a little bar fill up while Rukia moans in that fake “I hate this” voice that sounds more like she’s begging for another round. I tried to play it serious at first, reading the lines, then Orihime pops up with her boobs barely contained and the game basically goes “yeah ok, we all know why you’re here.”

Story is some half-broken parody of Bleach where you’re this random soul reaper dude who somehow has every girl’s attention and everyone is really confused about “spiritual pressure” but what they really mean is cum. You go from area to area, clicking on little icons, collecting points, unlocking scenes like it’s some gacha game where the only SSR is “Yoruichi on all fours with a tail plug.” The best bit is how lazy and honest it feels. Backgrounds are simple, UI feels like it was thrown together during a boring weekend, and then suddenly you hit a full CG where Rangiku’s huge ass is filling the whole screen and the game goes from “haha parody” to “ok I’m jerking to this for real.” I kept alt-tabbing between the game and Discord and somehow lost track of the plot like three times, but it doesn’t even matter, because every choice basically leads to more sucking, riding, or milking anyway.

There is this one tiny, stupid thing I can’t stop thinking about: the way Nel’s boobs squash slightly when she leans on the imaginary table in front of the textbox. They’re huge, obviously, anime giant, but the artist added this tiny fold where they touch, and it broke my brain for a second. Meanwhile Rukia is in the same scene, proportioned totally different, smaller chest but still not exactly “small,” and the script pretends like she’s flat. It’s hilarious. Half the time the dialogue feels like someone was writing while watching clips on another monitor, you get lines like “I’ll never accept this crude training!” and literally one box later she’s riding you, drool on her chin, nipples hard, asking for “more of that spiritual juice.” There’s a grind for “affection” that just means you click the same spot until a meter hits a number, then you get Yoruichi pinning you, purple hair all over the place, tits bouncing as she milks you dry like some smug cat goddess. It’s trashy, inconsistent, kind of buggy, I clicked through one box and skipped a blowjob line that probably was important but whatever, and I still kept going just to see how far they’d push Orihime’s curves before it turned into pure hentai nonsense. Spoiler: it hits that point fast and never looks back.

This whole thing feels like someone took every anime waifu you've ever crushed on and threw them into a blender with gacha mechanics. Pocket Waifu's got everyone - Megumin doing her explosion thing, Lucoa being all thicc dragon energy, even Tatsumaki looking perpetually annoyed while somehow being incredibly fuckable. The clicking gets mindless fast but honestly? That's kinda the point. You're not here for complex gameplay, you're here because seeing Rias Gremory in progressively skimpier outfits while numbers go up hits some primal part of your brain that retail therapy usually handles.

The progression system is whatever - click, level up, unlock scene, repeat. But fuck me the variety is impressive in a chaotic way. One minute you're getting a titjob from Lucy Heartfilia, next you're balls deep in some Nikke girl whose name I can't pronounce. The animations aren't groundbreaking but they get the job done, especially when Erza's doing that thing with her tongue or when Hinata finally stops being shy and goes full slut mode. Rosa from Pokemon looking absolutely stacked was not something I expected but here we are. The costumes unlock pretty regularly which keeps things fresh - nothing beats seeing Darkness in a maid outfit begging for it.

What's wild is how they managed to cram so many different series together without it feeling completely schizophrenic. Though honestly the Kobayashi dragon maids feel a bit out of place next to the more explicitly sexual characters, but whatever, Ilulu's tits make up for any tonal inconsistencies. The anal scenes with Sakura Matou hit different when you're three hours deep into idle clicking. Sometimes I forget I'm supposed to be managing resources and just end up staring at Yor Forger's ass physics for way too long. The mobile interface works fine but occasionally the click detection gets wonky during the more intense scenes which is annoying when you're trying to... multitask.

Isekai Brothel feels like someone cracked open my anime watchlist, dumped it on the bed, and said, “Ok, pick who you wanna fuck first.” It’s a dating sim wrapped around a brothel idea, but not the usual boring “pick one route, marry waifu, roll credits”. Here you jump between worlds and timelines, grab girls from different series, and basically run this horny multiverse where fidelity is a suggestion, not a rule. As a poly person this hits weirdly close to my fantasy: not needing to “pick best girl”, just stacking them like a chaotic harem Jenga tower and seeing what breaks first, your dick or your free time. And yeah, it’s messy. The art style and scenes don’t always match perfectly between girls, the transitions sometimes feel like someone hit the skip button too fast, but honestly that fits the vibe. It feels like a porn stash, not a museum.

What I liked a lot is how it leans hard into the “brothel” part without pretending to be moral about it. You flirt, you pay, you fuck. Sometimes you date first, sometimes you go straight to raw dog in a rented room. One moment I was having a kinda sweet “date” with a shy girl, choosing dialog options that made her open up, and then suddenly I was balls-deep while she begged me not to pull out. The jump from wholesome to filthy is fast and I actually enjoy that whiplash. There are quick sex scenes for when you just want a 2-minute stress relief, and longer dates where you build some tension before ruining her makeup. The game throws in fetishes pretty casually, like, “Oh, you clicked this girl again? Guess we’re doing anal now” and doesn’t over-explain anything. It trusts that if you’re on an adult site and recognize half these characters, you already know what you’re here for. One tiny thing that annoyed me: sometimes dialog sounds like it was translated twice through Google, then drunk-edited, but honestly I still liked that more than fake polished porn writing that nobody talks like.

The multiverse teleport tech is a cool excuse for why everyone is in one place, but the real fun is when you start mentally mixing “lore” from different shows while you’re mid-thrust. I was fucking a certain very proud, very stacked demon girl while thinking “if her boss from that other universe walked in right now, he’d probably applaud.” Then I switched to a sweet healer-type girl and went from rough choking and hair pulling to soft missionary and kissing like some kind of emotional whiplash speedrun. The game doesn’t punish you for jumping from girl to girl; it almost encourages it, like “you liked that dommy mommy? Nice, go cuddle the awkward schoolgirl now, coward.” It’s not trying to be classy, and I appreciate that a lot. Sex here can be romantic, sure, but it can also be just sloppy blowjob in a side room while other clients are busy in the back. I kinda wish there were more scenes where the girls interact with each other and not only with you, like full-on group sessions that acknowledge relationships between them, but at the same time I like the feeling that I’m sneaking from room to room, collecting different bodies and personalities like a horny little goblin. The whole thing feels like a guilty browser tab you forget to close, which is exactly how this kind of game should feel.

First time I launched *House of Shinobi*, I kinda laughed because the main menu music tried *so hard* to sound grand and brooding that it looped in this weird offbeat way - almost like the composer’s laptop was overheating. But then something strange happened. I got pulled in. The way the game paces itself - slow, quiet scenes between sudden bursts of raw, filthy intensity - reminds me of watching late-night anime on a borrowed DVD player when the volume button didn’t work and you had to ride the tension between “God, this is hot” and “Please don't let anyone walk in.” That feeling’s still there, buried under all the messy UI. I swear I stared at the save screen for full five minutes wondering which thumbnail was my actual progress. But that’s kind of the point: it’s accidental intimacy mixed with clunky obsession.

When the game goes erotic, it doesn’t hold back. The moans aren’t cleanly recorded; they’re layered like someone mixed them through an old cassette filter, and somehow it fits better than most ‘HD’ adult games. The scenes with Tsunade and Hinata hit different moods - one warm and messy, the other oddly gentle, like you’re being dared to keep eye contact. It’s not just pixel art but deliberate rhythm: the breathing, the softened thuds, the moment right before a slap lands. Even the humiliation stuff - which I usually skip - felt written by someone who hates and loves their characters at once. That inner contradiction, man… it gets under your skin.

The funny part? Every now and then, the sandbox sections drag you into managing chores or wandering alleyways, like filler episodes in the middle of chaos. I both hated and loved it. It kinda reminded me of grinding in *Honey Select* but with accidental moral consequences. And let’s be honest: nobody needs a moral lesson after three back-to-back creampie routes, yet when Kushina looks at you afterward and says nothing, that silence lingers. Maybe the game isn’t trying to say anything deep. Or maybe it’s mocking the idea that desire ever needed a reason. I still don’t like the font, though.