I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

Angst feels like watching a couple in their thirties crack open their marriage with a crowbar instead of a key, and then somehow still trying to make it romantic. You’re in Miles’ head most of the time, which is both hot and kind of pathetic in a good way. He has this fantasy of other guys fucking his wife, Claire, and the game doesn’t waste much time before that stops being just dirty talk. What caught me is how normal they look and act at first. They sit on the couch, talk about work, kiss like they’ve done it a thousand times, and then suddenly he’s asking her if she ever thinks about other men. That whole scene at the kitchen table where she keeps tracing circles on her coffee mug while he tries to say the word “sharing” without choking on it, that one stuck. He’s turned on and scared at the same time, and the game lets you sit in that mess for a while before any dick comes out. Although when the first blowjob scene hits, it really hits. The camera is way too close on her lips wrapping around him, spit shining his shaft, and the little eye contact she sneaks up at him feels way more intimate than the later porn-y stuff with other guys.

The sex with other men doesn’t come across as some wild party at first, it feels awkward and wrong and hot, in that order. There’s one scene where Claire is on her knees in front of another guy in a hotel room, and Miles is pretending he just wants to watch, but the game keeps cutting to his clenched jaw more than her sucking. You get these dialogue choices where you can push her to go further or pull back, and they’re just a few words, but they completely flip the vibe. When you tell her “Open wider, show him what you can do,” and she looks unsure for half a second then takes him deeper, gagging a bit, you feel powerful and like a total piece of shit at the same time. Later there’s a creampie where she’s riding this dude, moaning his name, and Miles is stuck on a chair like a side character in his own marriage. The moment he realizes the guy is about to cum inside her and he doesn’t stop it felt nasty in a way porn usually skips. The hot part is her hips grinding down, taking every drop. The fucked up part is the silence afterward, when she’s lying there with his cum leaking out and you can tell both of them are trying to pretend this is fine. It’s not even about the swinging or whatever at that point, it’s about that tiny look she gives him like “Did I go too far?” and he still says “You were amazing.” I’m not even sure I liked it, but I couldn’t look away.

Everything in this game feels like it started as a joke in a Discord call and then somehow turned into a full porn project. You’re this laid back dude who clearly does not deserve the women around him, wandering around a new city pretending you have a plan, while your fired corporate-queen girlfriend Mia is actually doing the real work. Officially you’re “building a business”. In practice you’re stumbling into horny situations with every insane woman that gets within arm’s reach and hoping it counts as networking. It’s like LinkedIn if LinkedIn involved a lot more spit on dicks and girls grinding on office chairs.

The whole thing leans hard into humor that’s actually funny, not that try-hard meme garbage. The MC keeps throwing stupid lines, and half the time the girls roast him so hard you almost feel bad. Mia teases you like it’s a full-time job, switches from soft caring girlfriend to “I own your dick” boss energy in one click, then pretends it never happened and asks if you’ve answered your emails. One moment she’s talking budgets, next she’s on her knees under the desk, choking a little while she tries to keep eye contact, and you’re mashing options trying not to nut too early because the animation actually sells it. The 3D scenes are pretty detailed, with a lot of focus on mouths, tongue, lips sliding over shaft, all that wet movement that makes a blowjob scene feel alive instead of just puppet-mouth on loop. They even throw in teasing stuff like slow handjobs and that infuriating “she licks the tip and stops” thing, just long enough to make you want to punch your mouse.

It’s not just one girl either. Once Jade shows up, everything goes chaotic. She’s that eyeliner demon that drinks too much and flirts like it’s a knife fight. She’ll grab your crotch in the middle of a serious talk, laugh in your face, then dare you to keep up. There’s a scene where she’s pressed against you in a cramped corner, moaning into your neck while she palms your shaft through the clothes, and Mia walks in, and instead of the usual drama, it turns into this messed up, half-jealous, half-turned-on vibe. Then later you catch Jade with another girl, hands between soft thighs, slow lazy lesbian play that is more about staring and smirking than going straight to scissoring. Lots of groping, fingers teasing over nipples, kissing, one girl grinding on the other’s thigh while you watch like an idiot. Group stuff creeps in naturally, like “oh this business meeting really did just become three mouths and a very busy dick”. Tits get a lot of attention too, with proper titfuck angles where you see your shaft disappear between slick, squeezed breasts and a tongue slipping out to catch the tip. And somewhere in between all the cumshots and quick office hookups, the game pretends you’re making real choices about “partnerships” and “strategy”, which is adorable, because everyone knows you’re just clicking through emails until the next time someone lets you lick them open on the couch.

You wake up in this place called Furryville like someone dumped you into a horny self-help book and then forgot to proofread it. Buildings look normal, people do normal jobs, but everyone’s some flavor of fluffy, scaly or with too many tails and not enough clothes. Your guy is a total mess at the start, trying to pretend he’s got his shit together while secretly jerking off in a crappy rented room and spying through half-open curtains at neighbors that really should close their blinds. One minute you’re having a cute coffee talk with a shy bunny girl who blushes so hard she can’t say “blowjob” without choking, next minute you’re pinned against a wall by a smug fox who’s blackmailing you with some very inconvenient screenshots and one hand is already sliding into your pants like this is the most casual thing in the world. The shift from wholesome “hey, maybe I can rebuild my life” to “oh, I’m getting my cock sucked in a back alley by someone with fur on their tongue” happens way faster than you expect, and somehow it doesn’t feel forced, just chaotic in a good way, like a scuffed roguelike run where the game keeps throwing weird events at you to see if you crack.

The romance stuff hits harder than it has any right to. You start out just thinking “ok fine, I’ll pick the flirty wolf bartender, clearly tagged for vanilla sex and easy creampie routes,” and then suddenly you care about his stupid drama and why he can’t say what he actually wants. Sex scenes actually react a bit to how you treated them before: act like a dick and you still get your dick wet, but the vibe is different. There’s this one scene where you’re comforting a catgirl after some heavy drama, and it starts with just holding her in bed, fully clothed, then turns into this slow, almost awkward handjob where her tail keeps twitching against your thigh. No crazy positions, no circus porn, just small touches, then she asks if it’s ok to watch you finish and suddenly you’re jerking off for her, her fingers resting at the base of your shaft as she leans closer, eyes wide, whispering that she wants to see it all on her belly. Later, with another route, that same girl is pushed into way filthier stuff if you go down the more manipulative choices, like you agreeing to be part of some blackmail arrangement and ending up fucking her from behind on a desk while the guy who set it up watches from the doorway. She’s trying not to moan too loud, you’re trying not to cum too fast, and the voyeur’s just there, breathing louder each thrust. It’s hot and also uncomfortable and somehow fits the whole “redemption but also I’m kind of trash” vibe. There’s anal, there’s messy creampies where you can actually see it dripping out while she tries to walk, there’s silly scenes like you getting a blowjob under a table during a “serious” talk, and yeah, a bunch of masturbation moments where your guy is just sad and horny, phone in hand, scrolling through chat logs with the same people you’re romancing. The writing stumbles sometimes, wording is clunky here and there, but honestly that makes it feel more real, like everyone is emotionally constipated and horny at the same time. It’s not polished, it’s not trying to be art, it’s more like a horny little world that changes just enough when you push different buttons, and half the fun is seeing which route turns into warm cuddling after sex and which one turns into “I just let a smug fox jerk me off while threatening to leak my pics, and somehow I liked it.”