This thing feels like somebody took a horny fever dream from Twitter, mixed it with an old Flash porn game, then actually remembered to add menus and sliders. You start as this clueless “master” dumped into a sticky pink dungeon that looks like a cosplay backstage after a con went really wrong. The nekogirl maid they give you at the start is cute in that manufactured PinkTea way, with big wet eyes and ears that twitch every time you click something. The first time I opened the options I laughed because the game clearly wants you to go straight for punishing her and breaking her in, but the menu is hiding way more important stuff than the story does. Little toggles for text speed, basic volume, some half-assed subtitle style, but nothing for colorblind people, no font scaling, no proper key remapping. I played on a Chromebook at work with one earbud and had to squint at the dialogue while she was literally begging to be fed cum like it was the only food in the world.

The actual scenes are filthy in a fun trashy way. They lean hard into “maid as property” and “pet girl to be trained” so if you like that whole sex slave training fantasy, yeah, it goes there. There is this feeding system where you don’t just fuck her, you keep giving her “treats” and “meals” that are basically different ways to pour fluids into her. Sometimes she’s on her knees in that tight maid dress, holding the tray, drool on her chin, ears shaking while you decide if you wanna be nice or just grab her hair and use her mouth like a warm onahole. Other times you cage her in a dungeon cell, chain on her neck, and she leans against the bars, nipples poking through the frilly fabric, asking if she was a good cat and if you’ll let her lick you clean. The first orgasm scene where she squirts while still trying to say “Welcome home, Master” felt almost too on the nose, but I still replayed it three times. Somehow the camera focus is fine, the sound is dirty enough, but then you hit an interface wall: you can’t resize the text box, the font is thin and low contrast on some backgrounds, and keyboard controls get ignored in some menus like the dev got bored mid-feature and went back to drawing tits.

I tested it with NVDA on Windows and Chrome’s built-in screen reader on Android, and it’s rough. The buttons are mostly unlabeled for assistive tech, so the whole “training schedule” screen is just a bunch of “button, button, button” when you tab through. Try setting up a sequence of punishments and rewards when you can’t even tell which button starts the blowjob scene and which one opens the goddamn gallery. Also you can’t navigate scenes properly with only keyboard, since some choices only react to mouse hover and not focus, which is ridiculous in a game where half the fun is choosing how hard to push your neko maid. There is no way to change text size for people with low vision, no high contrast option, and the UI uses pastel on pastel like it wants to be cute more than readable. That said, I still lost track of time watching the scene where she’s on all fours, tail plug in, maid skirt flipped up, you grab her hips and hammer her while she meows through the gag, and I forgot I was annoyed at the lack of remap options. I keep wishing there was a simple “accessibility” tab with bigger fonts, strong outlines, proper labels, but I know it will probably never show up in a porn dungeon where the priority is making the neko girl choke on cum instead of letting more people actually play it.

Can’t lie, I clicked expecting another copy-paste anime mashup with the usual stiff models and dead-eyed moans, but this one hits different. There’s a sadness under all that skin, like someone coded their fantasies too carefully, you know? I found myself staring at Raven’s face - Batman’s Raven - and thinking, “she shouldn’t be looking at me like that,” while still dragging her into position anyway. Unreal how fast guilt turns into hunger when the animation breathes just right. And maybe it’s because of the Illusion engine doing its sneaky physics thing, or maybe because the transitions are almost clumsy, like real people fumbling with clothes and patience. It’s messy, which makes it hot.

The scenes jump from universes without pretending to make sense. One second I’m in some broken-down Capsule Corp lab, Bulma smirking like she *planned* to get caught; next, Yoruichi’s toes press against my chest, laughing, telling me to look up. I did. Of course I did. The voyeur mode feels wrong in the best possible way - it doesn’t even give you fake morality options, just lets you watch. But then again, maybe that’s lazy design. Or genius. Hard to tell when your brain’s half-melted. The weird part? The sound mix changes depending on position, so D.Va sounds distant if she turns away. I swear no one ever gets audio that intimate, not even those overpriced VR patches on Steam.

Anyway, I could say it’s perfect, but I won’t. Some things twitch too mechanically - the faces sometimes freeze mid-expression, like they remember they’re code. Yet that’s also the charm. You see the seams, and you keep touching them. Like rubbing a wound for pleasure. Half the cast shouldn’t exist in the same space - Orihime beside Tifa beside Samus - but here they crowd my screen like they’ve been waiting forever. Maybe that’s why it works: it’s absurd, obscene, familiar, and somehow lonelier than expected. I closed the browser and immediately reopened it. Couldn’t help it.

Con Quest feels like somebody got horny at Comic-Con, opened RPG Maker, and just refused to stop until every girl in a Pokémon outfit was getting railed. In a good way. You walk around this nerd convention, not to catch monsters, but to hunt down girls in cheap, tight cosplay that looks like it came from AliExpress and then got “modified” with scissors and zero shame. They’ve got the Pikachu chick whose ears keep wobbling while she’s getting fucked, the grumpy Gardevoir girl who pretends she’s above it all but spreads fast as soon as you push the right dialog options, and a ridiculous amount of bad puns about balls, trainers and catching them all. Sometimes it lands, sometimes it’s like watching your drunk uncle discover hentai on TikTok. Still, I laughed. Then I got hard. Not always in that order.

The flow is simple: explore the convention floor, poke at everything like a horny raccoon, talk to cosplayers, pick the lewder dialog, and trigger scenes. There’s that one moment where you finally talk your way backstage, past the fake “staff only” sign, and find a girl in a half-finished Eevee outfit, ears on, top off, still holding a hot glue gun while you bend her over a pile of foam props. Completely unsafe, 10/10. Another time I burned a whole coffee break just trying every dumb answer in one dialog tree to see which one would push the “Misty-but-not-Misty” girl from rolling her eyes to literally riding your face behind a merch table full of body pillows. The game sometimes pretends it’s a serious little quest with items and mini-challenges, then instantly switches to “okay, now fuck her on the floor between two trash bins.” That chaos made it feel like an actual con, to be honest. You run in circles, get lost, end up in the weirdest places, and suddenly there’s a half-naked furry Pikachu grinding on your lap like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Sex scenes go hard on the cosplay angle. Costumes stay on just enough to be stupid hot: tail getting grabbed, ears getting pulled, fake paws on your chest, panty lines under ripped bodysuits. There’s one where the girl’s wearing a super tight yellow suit and you only pull it down to her waist, so her tits bounce out while the hood still has the goofy little face on it. It looks silly and filthy at the same time, like a hentai parody you’re slightly ashamed to enjoy but you still do. Some animations loop a bit clunky in spots and the moans sometimes sound like they were recorded in someone’s bathroom on an old phone, but honestly that kind of fits the whole dirty-fan-project vibe. I was more annoyed that sometimes I clicked too fast, skipped a line of dialog I actually wanted to read, and there’s no quick, clean way to step back one sentence. Also there is one NPC who looks like she would 100% fuck you behind the fake cardboard Poké-center booth and she never does, and I’m still mad about that. The mix of convention humor, shameless cosplay kink, and “gotta catch every slutty costume” energy made it feel like wandering through a horny, corrupted Nintendo fan meetup where nobody cares about the panels, only about who’s getting pounded in which costume next.

It’s weird how this game feels like two different fever dreams stitched together with duct tape and a dirty laugh track. One minute you’re dealing with a spoiled princess who thinks she’s too good for your commands, next you’re in a dusty classroom trying to make a witch blush while pretending you’re not the worst kind of pervert. The whole thing runs like someone dumped Aladdin and Harry Potter fanfics into a blender, hit “liquify,” then forgot to clean the blades. I mean that as a compliment. Mostly. There’s something strangely addictive about watching these characters slide from pride to obedience, like watching a tower of cards collapse in slow motion while you whisper filth into the wind.

And yeah, the art - old-school 2D, a bit grainy at the edges - somehow makes it hotter. You notice every smirk, every drop of sweat, every time the princess rolls her eyes before giving in. The witch, though… she’s the real trip. The game makes her crack little by little, until she’s doing things she’d hex you for even thinking about. There’s this one scene with a mirror spell - don’t even ask, it’s messy, beautiful, wrong, and perfect all at once. I wish the sound effects weren’t so cheap, though. Like, if I wanted to hear the same “slap” noise on loop, I’d just open TikTok. But then again, maybe that janky sound is part of the charm. Makes it feel dirtier, less polished, more like something you shouldn’t be caught playing but can’t stop anyway.

Also, whoever added the management bits deserves both a medal and a slap. You’re juggling gold, obedience, lust - whatever - and it feels like running a brothel disguised as a school. Which… is exactly what it is, I guess? The tentacle stuff sneaks up on you too, not even kidding. One second you’re giving a lecture, next thing you know, it’s hentai biology class. Half the time I’m disgusted, half the time I’m grinning like an idiot. That’s the magic here: it’s trashy, shameless, and somehow still clever enough to make you question who’s really being trained. Spoiler - it’s probably you.