You start out as this broke nobody with a hero complex and zero social life, which is honestly way too relatable, then you go and pull the dumbest smart move ever: throw away your own life to save someone else. Good job, martyr-kun. Instead of a gravestone you get a bunch of bored goddesses looking at you like a new toy. Not even subtle about it. One of them gives you a second shot in a fantasy world and from that point it’s less “epic isekai adventure” and more “how much teasing can one guy survive before his brain melts through his dick.” The setup looks like the usual dating sim fluff, yeah, but then you notice it’s actually a sandbox, so you just wander around clicking on stuff, peeking in places you probably shouldn’t, and suddenly you’re spying through a keyhole while a girl with ridiculous tits rides a pillow and moans your name without even having met you properly. Definitely not Bioware romance pacing.

What I liked way too much is how the game keeps pretending it cares about your soul and your choices, while it actually cares about your cock stamina. One minute a “pure” virgin priestess girl is nervously holding your hand, all blushy and sweet, saying she wants to “take it slow”, and five clicks later she’s on top of you, tits bouncing in your face, trying to cram you inside raw because a goddess “blessed” her womb. There’s this scene where a haughty goddess steps on your chest, heel pressing right under your ribs, and she’s making you kiss her toes like some pathetic knight, and you’re thinking “ok, fine, femdom stuff, I’ve seen worse,” then she suddenly squeezes your shaft between her soles and gives you this lazy, slow footjob while looking bored on purpose, just to make you beg harder. The animations are actually pretty hot, which annoys me, because I wanted to laugh at it and instead I just sat there like an idiot, edging. The teasing is brutal too: one girl grinds on your lap, panties soaked, keeps doing that almost-ahegao face, then stands up right before you finish and walks away to “cool down,” leaving you with nothing but a dialogue choice that changes absolutely nothing.

Later, when the harem stuff kicks in proper, the game goes from “awkward romance” to “of course they’re all fine with sharing you, why wouldn’t they.” You get this “romantic” date in town with the shy mage, holding hands, talking about magic and feelings, then you come back to the house and the busty swordswoman is already naked, sitting on your face, telling the mage to “stop being a prude and join in.” It turns into group sex so fast the music barely changes. One is riding your mouth, the other is bouncing on your dick, and a third one is just standing there, stroking you off when they swap places, because apparently everyone learned perfect handjob technique in goddess school. There’s anal, creampies, titfucks, random masturbation scenes when you’re alone and spying on them, and yeah, you get the standard “walk into the bath at the wrong time” thing, but they don’t even bother acting mad for long. My only real complaint is stupid: there’s one scene where a girl is stripping super slowly, removing gloves, boots, all that, and she never takes off this tiny ribbon on her wrist and it drove me insane. No idea why. Maybe that’s the real domination here, they own your attention more than your character. Anyway, if you pretend you’re here for “romance” while clicking straight to the next blowjob, I won’t judge. Much.

First thing that hit me with this game is how horny the whole “board game” frame actually feels once you’re inside it. You’re not just clicking scenes, you’re basically a pawn on this smug Game Master’s table, getting moved around a dungeon that clearly cares more about tits and teasing than treasure. Every square you land on is like a dare. One moment you’re planning your next “strategic” move, the next moment a monster girl with ridiculous curves is pressing you into the wall and asking if you like your face buried in big ass or big tits first. And the game lets you lean into being a bastard dom or just… melt. It really goes hard on that push and pull between dominance and submission, you can feel it in almost every encounter. Sometimes literally, like when you choose between slapping her cheeks red or letting her ride your face while she laughs at you.

The humor is pretty trashy in the best way, like a dungeon run written by that one horny DM who never got over their monster girl folder. There’s a lot of tongue-in-cheek jokes about crit fails and “rolling for stamina” while a clingy slime girl is jerking you off in three different ways at once. I actually paused to screenshot a scene where the GM basically mocks you for picking the “wholesome” route, then immediately gives you a “bonus” in the form of a monster girl who acts shy but has hands everywhere. Handjobs are everywhere here, but they’re not just copy-paste scenes. Sometimes it’s a casual “reward” on a safe tile, sometimes it’s you pinned down with her using your cock like a joystick while you pretend you’re still in control of the fight. Vaginal stuff hits harder when you’ve actually schemed your way into it, like when you’ve been edging through groping and spanking options and finally unlock a position that feels earned, not just thrown at you.

What I didn’t expect was how much the multiple protagonist thing would mess with my brain. One run I’m this cocky male hero trying to top every monster girl into submission, another run I’m a stacked female champion getting slowly turned into the GM’s favorite toy. Swapping viewpoints changes the whole flavor of the same board, but it’s messy in a good way. You get these strategy moments where you agonize over a tile that might level your character up or might just end with you on your knees, drool on your chin, while some smug demon girl rides you and keeps “accidentally” grinding your weak spot. Sometimes the female dom stuff sneaks up on you. You think you’re the one in charge because you picked all the aggressive options, then the scene flips and suddenly you’re the one begging while she laughs, spanking you like you’re the pet. The simulator vibe shows up in how you shape your role: do you become a cruel bastard, a submissive toy, or that chaotic mix who spanks her monster girls and then gets pegged metaphorically by the GM narrative two turns later. I kinda wish the board color was different but whatever, I’m still thinking about that one scene where a monster girl sits on your lap mid “battle,” guides your hand to her ass, and the GM just writes in a rule that you lose your turn unless you make her cum. I’m not even mad. Just annoyed that the sound for one specific tile is weirdly louder than everything else and now I can’t un-hear it.

First thing that hits you in this one is how dumb the idea sounds on paper and how fast it becomes hot when you’re actually clicking through it. It’s literally rock paper scissors as foreplay. You sit there as the guy, trying to outguess two girls who clearly know exactly what they’re doing and are totally using the rules just to strip you down and mess with your head. They start looking all sweet and playful, kind of goofy even, but each win they get nudges the clothes a bit lower, one piece at a time, and you feel it in your stomach when you realise you’re losing on purpose just to see what comes off next. Or you win, and they pretend to be “embarrassed” while clearly enjoying that you’re making them show more skin. The teasing feels like one long edging session built into simple clicks.

What I like is how the girls bully you without it turning into some hardcore torture thing. It’s more like that mean classmate who knows you’re horny and just keeps poking at it. They call you out for staring at their tits, make fun of how desperate you are when you finally get them topless, and if you misplay a round and end up naked first, they absolutely do not let that go. One of them makes little comments about your dick, the other pretends to be shy while her hand is already on your thigh, and suddenly you’re the one stripped, hard, and being used as the toy. It’s not subtle. There’s hand stuff, mouths, all the usual, but the way they frame it as “you lost, so now we do whatever we want” gives the whole thing this humiliation flavor that actually lands. Interracial angle is there too, and they use that contrast visually and in how they talk, like they’re playing off each other’s bodies and personalities while you’re stuck in the middle trying not to bust too fast. Sometimes they switch to playing with each other, rubbing and kissing while you sit there useless, and I swear that fired me up way more than I expected. Watching them ignore you, touching tits and ass, licking each other while you wait like a punished dog, that hits a specific kink.

The actual clicking around is simple point and click stuff, but they hide little reactions in it that make it feel more alive than it should. You hover too long and a girl calls you a creep. You win a risky round and she shifts her weight like she knows she has to take off the next layer and is pretending to hate it. There’s a moment where one girl slides her foot along your shaft as a “punishment” for a bad move and then pulls back right before you cum, and that one scene stuck with me way more than the full-on sex later. The vaginal and oral payoffs are good, not mind blowing, but the path to get there, with the stripping and the teasing and that playful humiliation, is what actually makes it porn rather than just a nude gallery. Only thing that annoyed me is this one tiny sound effect that repeats on every RPS round, like a soft click, and now it’s burned into my brain forever. I opened Chrome for actual work and my body basically went, “oh, it’s jerk-off time again.”

Dark Dreams looks like the kind of place where a horny virgin RPG nerd would go “ok, yeah, this is where I die happy”. You start as this awkward guy finally getting into the city after busting his ass for years, and the world hits you in the face fast. Humans and these almost-human simic girls live together, and right away you feel that thing in the air: everyone’s a little too touchy, a little too curious, like the whole city is permanently on the edge of a wet dream. Simics are in trouble because they barely get male babies anymore, so suddenly your clueless, blue-balled main guy? He’s not just some random dude. He’s basically a walking fuckable resource. The game does a fun job of letting you feel that shift, too. At the start you’re this shy, “sorry, I never even had a proper handjob” type. After a while, it’s like every corner of the city has someone who wants to test how much stamina you actually have, with this weird mix of fantasy lore and “please cum in me for science”.

What I really liked is how the sandbox part doesn’t hold your hand too much. You wander the city, talk to girls, peek through wrong doors like a creep, and suddenly you’re watching someone getting her throat used in an alley, animated and messy, while your guy is hiding in the shadows jerking off, shaking like he might blow just from watching. Some events feel almost accidental, in a good way. I had one scene where I just went back to the same house at the “wrong” time and walked in on a simic girl riding some guy hard, moaning like her life depends on it. Instead of kicking you out, she locks eyes with you, tells the guy to shut up, and starts using her hand on you too, both cocks getting stroked while she keeps grinding, like she’s trying to milk two faucets at once. It’s raunchy as hell, but there’s also this weird emotional layer, because story-wise they are low-key desperate for strong males, and sex is half lust, half survival. Then later, the same girl sits you down and talks about dreams and ancient shit from Phaeton like she didn’t just have your dick in her mouth against the wall earlier. I kinda like that messy tone shift. Or maybe I don’t. Depends on mood.

Once you start making choices, the game leans hard into the “every touch means something” idea. Sleep with one girl and actually finish in her, and the game remembers. Go for masturbating alone in your small room, watching your phone glow while some simic girl sends you half-naked clips from the bath, and the story bends differently. You can go full voyeur mode, spying from staircases and balconies, staying a virgin a bit longer while you watch other people get their holes filled. Or you can just break and go straight for vaginal, anal, oral, whatever you can unlock, turning the hero from this soft boy to a confident bastard who knows exactly how deep to push. Some of the animated scenes are rough in a good way: that sloppy first blowjob where she struggles with the tip, drool all over, your guy trying not to thrust, then completely failing and shoving it down anyway, her gagging but grabbing your hips so you don’t pull out. That one stuck in my brain. And yeah, the whole “healing power of touch” thing is cheesy as fuck sometimes, but you forget about it when a simic girl is riding your cock slow, staring into your eyes, talking about saving her race while she slides down to the base and you’re torn between listening to the lore and just trying not to cum in five seconds. Oh, and the mobile side is surprisingly smooth, I played half of it on my phone in the bathroom with Chrome on, one hand playing and the other very busy, and it still ran better than some “serious” games on PC. The only thing that annoyed me is that tiny UI thing in the corner that I kept tapping by mistake, but whatever, it’s not getting fixed and I kind of hate it. Anyway, the game keeps mixing slow story scenes with explicit moments where you’re elbows-deep in someone, or she’s sitting on your face while jerking you off, and somehow that fits right in with all the talk about destroyed planets and lost civilizations. Weird combo. Works. Mostly.