This Resident Evil parody throws you straight into Lady Dimitrescu's castle, and honestly? The devs knew exactly what they were doing. You're playing some poor bastard who's gotta survive Alcina's "trial" - which basically means getting dominated by a nine-foot vampire mommy and her equally stacked daughters. The turn-based combat system feels clunky at first, like they copy-pasted it from some RPG maker tutorial, but once you realize the real gameplay is about managing your stamina while getting your face buried in supernatural cleavage, it starts making sense. There's this one scene where Dimitrescu pins you against the wall and the camera angle is just... chef's kiss. The 3DCG models look decent enough, though Lady D's proportions are so exaggerated she looks like she'd topple over in real life.

Combat encounters blend into these weird BDSM scenarios where losing actually feels like winning. You'll find yourself deliberately failing just to see what creative punishment awaits. The spanking animations have more effort put into them than the actual sword fighting mechanics, which tells you where the priorities were. Sandbox elements let you explore the castle freely, groping your way through dark corridors while avoiding or seeking out the various monster girls lurking around. Some of the dialogue during sex scenes made me laugh out loud - not sure if that was intentional. The ahegao faces during climax moments are over-the-top ridiculous but somehow work within this campy horror-porn aesthetic.

What really caught me off guard was how they handled the size difference fetish stuff. Tall vs short dynamics play out in every interaction, from handjobs where your character can barely reach to titfuck scenes that look physically impossible. The harem aspect kicks in later when you're juggling multiple supernatural ladies, each with their own domination preferences. Voice acting ranges from surprisingly good to hilariously bad, but the moaning sounds authentic enough. Fair warning though - the grinding gets repetitive and some animations loop awkwardly.

Jake comes crawling back home with his life completely fucked, and the house basically looks at him like “oh, you thought you were done with us?” The place is out on the edge of nowhere, quiet in that wrong way, where the shadows feel like they’re paying attention. His “family” is there, but they’re not really how he remembers them. The milf who used to worry if he wore a scarf outside is suddenly dressing like she knows exactly how her tits bounce when she leans over his bed. The cute sister-type who used to steal his hoodies now “forgets” to wear pants in the hallway. Everybody’s acting normal and absolutely not normal at the same time. They smile too long. They touch him too casually. They say things that sound caring and then twist right at the end and feel like a threat. Or a promise. Hard to tell with a hard-on.

What makes it hit different is how the erotic stuff is tangled into the horror, not on top of it. One moment Jake is staring at a door that keeps closing itself, hearing breathing on the other side. The next he’s in the bathroom, and the milf is in there already, towel slipping, water dripping down those ridiculous heavy tits, and she just watches him watch her. No “oops, I didn’t hear you come in.” Just silent eye contact and the smallest smirk, like she’s waiting for him to break first. Then later you find out she’s hiding something way worse than a horny mood. A phone he didn’t know she had. Recordings she shouldn’t have. Angry texts from some unknown number that knows exactly where he sleeps and who he’s been touching. There’s blackmail threads crawling through the whole house, everybody has dirt on everybody, and the game likes to tease you with “ok, you can say no here” right when your cock is already screaming yes. And if you push into the more fucked up paths, the netorare and corruption bits hit pretty heavy. Watching the girl you’ve been quietly obsessing over get bent open by something not exactly human, eyes rolled back in full ahegao while you’re forced to watch or even help, is the kind of scene that stays in your head when you’re trying to scroll Twitter later and pretend you’re normal. Some of the supernatural stuff really leans into that: hands that look like yours touching her first, voices in her ear that sound like you telling her to open wider, a futanari “relative” that suddenly shows up in certain branches with a cock that absolutely ruins whoever she gets her hands on. There is one scene where you’re sneaking through the hall at night and catch the milf on all fours in front of a door that should be locked, getting railed by something you can barely see, and when she looks back, her face is half hers, half something else, drool and tears and total sex-drunk ahegao, and she still whispers your name instead of the monster’s. That shit is messed up and hot at the same time, which feels illegal but here we are.

What I kinda love and kinda hate is how petty some of the choices feel. You’re thinking “ok, I’m going to solve this paranormal mystery” and then the game hits you with “do you peek at her showering again or not?” and it actually matters. You ignore her once and later she is cold as ice, you peek too often and the whole vibe becomes exhibitionist on purpose, like she starts leaving doors open just to see how far she can break you. There are lesbian scenes that show up only if you screw up a relationship so badly that the girls stop giving themselves to you and start fucking each other instead, and it lands more like a punishment than a reward. Kind of hurts in that good ntr way, like the game is laughing in your face, telling you “yeah, you had your chance.” The blackmail routes get properly nasty: one of my favorite messed up bits was finding a hidden folder on a laptop, opening a video and realizing it’s your girl being fucked while she keeps saying she’s only doing this so “he doesn’t leak the stuff about you.” Not sure if it’s more horny or humiliating, but I clicked replay like five times anyway. And then some endings flip everything, turning you from scared loser to the actual corrupt thing lurking in the house, twisting the women, parading them half-naked in the living room while anyone or anything can watch. I kept telling myself “ok, that’s too far” while still picking the dirtiest choice every time. My only real complaint is stupid: sometimes a text box covers the exact part of the animation I’m staring at, and it pisses me off more than the ghost stuff. I adjust the window, I click ahead too fast, I miss a line, then I have to backscroll like an idiot. Still, when the game hits one of those perfect horror-sex combos, like hearing scratching on the walls while the milf rides you so hard her tits slap against her chest and the light flickers and something is definitely watching from the corner, all that annoyance just sort of melts into “ok, one more scene, then I stop.” Which is a lie, obviously.

Xweb looks like something a horny creep coded after binging too much Black Mirror and porn parody anime, and honestly that’s the charm. You’re this “Secret User” in a sketchy underground app where strangers send you messed up requests, and you answer them by typing out custom commands, like you’re tech support for perverts and psychos. One guy wants his cheating wife exposed, another wants to stalk an idol with ridiculous tits, someone else is begging you to fix a cursed sex tape that literally kills people who watch it. The UI keeps pinging your phone like Telegram plus OnlyFans plus something that really should get your device seized at airport security. Between answering clients, the story cuts to animated scenes where your choices clearly messed up someone’s life or turned them into your next obsessed toy. It’s not just “click to see boobs” either; the conversations are surprisingly long and filthy, with the girls oversharing way too fast, sending pics that get more hardcore the more you push them. One moment a shy student is asking if it’s wrong to fantasize about her professor, next moment she’s sending you a video of her riding a dildo in the dim light, her huge tits bouncing like it’s a cheap camshow and she keeps whispering your username like it’s sacred. There’s real horny energy in how the text, the voices, and the little animations sync up, even if sometimes the English sounds like Google Translate having a stroke.

Sex-wise the game goes hard into the whole “harem in a horror movie” mood. You’ve got multiple girls orbiting around this Xweb nonsense, each one with their own flavor of messed up. The soft-spoken one with the big ass who “accidentally” leaves her camera on while she changes. The cosplayer with huge boobs who keeps sending you low-angle shots, then later ends up in a corrupted stream where something in the background is not human. Scenes can flip from erotic to creepy without warning. One minute she’s on all fours, moaning while you pound her pussy in some cheap motel with neon light flashing through the window, the next minute the video glitches and her face distorts for a second, like something from a cursed tape, before snapping back while she’s still begging you not to stop. It’s weirdly hot. The vaginal sex is animated in that simple 2D style where everything is about the rhythm: her ass slamming back into your hips, the wet sounds cranked up way too loud, cum filling her and then dripping down her thighs in looping shots that are almost hypnotic. You can tell where the artist spent all the effort: tits and asses wobble, nipples get hard, her expression changes with each thrust, and sometimes it looks a bit off perspective-wise but that just kind of adds to the dirty feel, like you shouldn’t even be watching this. The parody side quietly sneaks in when you recognize archetypes from big anime and mainstream games, but warped, like a “totally not that famous witch girl” with a hat way too big and cleavage even bigger, or a “not that survival horror cop chick at all” who somehow ends up tied to a chair, riding your cock for her life while something claws at the door. Xweb mixes shit that shouldn’t go together: tech support, time travel talk, a hitman looking for you in the real world, and somehow you still end up focusing on one thing: whose tight little virtual hole are you filling next while the entire world apparently goes to hell around you.

There’s this messed up thing that happens when a horror game is actually horny. Your brain keeps trying to decide if it should be scared or turned on, and this thing leans hard into that confusion. You’re stuck in this old college building that feels like that one abandoned wing every campus has, the one people swear is locked “for renovation” since forever. Lights flicker, the hallways go on way too long, doors loop you back around, all that classic paranormal bullshit. Except here, in the middle of all the creepy silence and bloody scribbles on the walls, you’re also constantly running into this ghost woman who looks like she crawled out of a nightmare and a porn shoot at the same time. Long hair, eyes that look like she wants to eat your soul, tits that absolutely do not follow physics, and an ass that makes you forget there’s literal gore on the floor. Half the game you’re thinking “I should run,” and the other half you’re lowkey hoping she catches you again.

The weirdest part is how the “saving yourself” thing sorta becomes optional in your head. You wander the campus trying doors, checking classrooms, hiding, finding notes that make the story darker every time, with little splashes of graphic violence that are just blunt, not artistic. No fancy cutaways, just “oh shit, yeah, that guy is very dead.” Then, in the next scene, you’re pushed into some supernatural sex encounter that feels way too intimate for how monstrous she is. One moment she’s pinning the male protagonist to a desk, grinding on him with those big soft tits bouncing in your face while she rides him like she wants to break his hips, the next moment the lights cut and you hear something wet and not at all sexy somewhere down the corridor. The game keeps letting you think with your dick and punishing you for it, but also rewarding you, which makes zero sense and somehow works. There are scenes where she phases through the wall in front of you, body half transparent, nipples fully not, walks in that slow, predatory way, and you can literally feel your brain going “this is a bad idea” while your hand is already on the mouse or, well, not on the mouse anymore. You get those paranormal moments where she twists her neck at a wrong angle, or her mouth stretches too wide, and then right after she’s riding you slow, whispering shit in your ear you don’t understand, squeezing you inside her like she’s trying to keep you there forever. By the time you realize the campus itself feels alive and fucked up, and maybe you actually do have some weird powers going on, you’ve already decided that if you’re trapped in an endless loop, there are worse ways to spend it than being hunted, scared, and nailed senseless by one obsessive monster girl ghost with a perfect ass and a death problem.