This thing starts like some drunk tabletop campaign that got horny and never sobered up. Three cranky old spellcasters arguing in a tower about how huge the boobs should be on their “perfect” warrior, casting spells like kids tweaking sliders in a character creator, then years go by, everyone dies except one guy, and suddenly he’s stuck going to war with the walking, bouncing disaster they made together. And she really is a disaster in the best way: big armor that pretends to cover her, tits shoved up like they’re trying to escape the breastplate, thighs that look like they could crush demons or just sit on your face by accident. Half the time she looks like a holy knight, the other half like someone ripped pages from a dirty mage’s notebook and glued them onto a medieval codex.

The coolest part for me is when the fights stop feeling like simple fantasy “hit the goblin” stuff and turn into awkward flirting with extra steps. He throws spells, she charges in, something explodes, suddenly her clothes are shredded and he’s trying very hard to keep chanting while her nipples are basically waving hi to the entire battlefield. There’s this one sequence where they go into some ruined chapel, and the last surviving mage is trying to act serious, “battle, duty, honor” and all that, and she’s just leaning on her sword, sweat running between her breasts in slow drops, asking in this casual way if he “adjusted her stamina parameter back then for long sessions.” Completely normal sentence, absolutely filthy out of context. And the game knows it. It zooms in, lingers, makes him choke on his spell words, like the UI itself is horny and trolling you.

I kind of hate how clunky some bits feel in between all that. Dialogue jumps, some scenes cut like the dev sneezed on the keyboard and pressed skip, and there’s this one transition where it looks like she teleports across a room just so the camera can shove her ass in your face. It annoyed me for one second, then I caught myself staring at the jiggle and forgot what I was annoyed about. That happens a lot. I complain, then she does this slow armor removal, layer by layer, like she’s peeling herself out of a holy cosplay, and everything in my brain just goes quiet except “oh, fuck.” The last mage is the worst liar, by the way. He keeps talking about “strategy” and “tactics” while clearly ogling his own creation, and the game makes you sit right there inside his head as he tries to focus on fireballs while her pussy’s practically framed by broken plate and glowing runes. It’s kind of stupid. It’s kind of hot. It feels exactly like some horny wizard spent too long alone in his tower and decided his ultimate weapon needed ridiculous curves, zero realistic armor, and a battle style that looks like an excuse to get railed between fights.

Terrorists are planning a catastrophic assault on the United States, and it’s up to you to stop them. The mastermind behind the scheme, Professor Emmett Von Braun, was abducted and forced to design a cloning apparatus for the terrorists’ evil plans. Even with the professor safely back, we face a race against time to retrieve the five essential components he created.

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This evening, your focus slipped for just a moment in the parking area. A dangerously reckless blonde beauty was driving way too fast. What happened next? She ran you over and left you stuck between life and death as a restless spirit.

Tracking down that blonde’s place wasn’t hard at all, and now you’re ready to make her pay for what she did. And since it’s Halloween, the night of mischief and terror, she’s about to get a taste of her own medicine.

Now, as an ethereal presence, you can manipulate her world in ways she’ll find terrifying and thrilling. Slip through walls, appear and disappear at will, and drive her wild with fear and desire.

Why limit yourself to just haunting?. Turn your ghostly presence into an intoxicating force that pulls her deeper into your realm.

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Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.