Being a horny Marine officer never looked this pathetic and this fun at the same time. You start as this hotshot captain who thinks he’s going to bag the Straw Hats and come back a hero, and instead you get fucked over by reality and bureaucracy. Your “glorious mission” turns into running stupid errands, chasing rumors, and getting used as a toy by a bunch of dangerous women with ridiculous tits and way too much power over your career. It plays like a mix of trainer and puzzle with turn based scraps thrown in, but nothing is ever explained cleanly, you just sort of stumble into scenes and accidentally click the option that makes Tashigi sit on your face or Hina lock you up and use you as stress relief. The story pretends to be about duty and honor, but every dialog choice boils down to “do you want to grope her soft or rough” or “take it in the mouth first or fuck her right away”. It’s very honest about what it wants from you: you are here to mess up, get humiliated, and still somehow end up with a harem of women who should absolutely arrest you.

The unpolished part hits first in the UI. On mobile it feels like it was designed while drunk on cheap rum. Buttons are too small on some menus, then huge for no reason on others. On Chrome it runs okay, on Firefox I had a scene with Miss Valentine stuttering between frames while she rides the protagonist, like the game couldn’t handle the amount of ass. Animations are simple but they put the emphasis where it matters: big tits bouncing when you choose the “continue thrusting” option in a creampie scene, ass jiggle when you push for anal even after the warning. There is this one stealthy mission with Paula where you are supposed to be serious, gather info, report back and all that, and instead I spent ten minutes clicking random hotspots just to trigger the teasing event where she presses her boobs against you and pretends she’s “checking for concealed weapons”. The text leans hard into dirty talk, especially in oral scenes; mikita going sloppy with spit running down her chin looks cheap, but the timing of the ahegao faces is weirdly good, like the dev was laser focused on that one thing and then forgot to fix typos everywhere else.

Turn based combat is almost a joke here. You queue the usual actions, but the real goal is to unlock more lewd outcomes instead of “winning” like normal RPGs. Lose a fight to Little Sadi and she doesn’t just beat you; she toys with you, chokes you a bit, mixes pain and pleasure, calls you a dog, then the game acts like this is just a minor penalty. The sandbox structure lets you wander, but it’s not really open, more like a horny maze. You visit places hoping for something epic and sometimes all you get is a short teasing grope in a hallway. Then another time a nothing-looking choice suddenly leads to Poison Spider Zala pinning you down and riding you until you blow inside her and the screen flashes with that messy little creampie loop. Performance wise, it’s rough but workable; there are random micro-freezes on my aging Android when three girls are on screen in a harem scene, and I had one case where the dialog box just gave up in the middle of a blowjob line, but honestly, the scuffed edges kind of match the vibe. You are a fallen Marine captain chasing asses and failing upwards; of course the game feels a bit broken.

You start as this smug bastard who already turned Tsunade into his personal toy some years ago, and the game just treats that like normal Tuesday. No big drama, just “yeah, she’s mine now, what’s next.” That already tells you the tone. You’re not here to be a hero. You’re basically weaponizing mind control to build your own village with a harem of kunoichi from everywhere, and the story is very honest about it. The vibe is closer to some fucked-up fan doujin than a “proper” visual novel, which I liked way more than I should. It looks simple at first, just text and 2D scenes, but the scenes are animated enough that when Hinata drops to her knees and you order her to “prove loyalty with her mouth,” it actually hits. There’s this one early scene where you test your improved technique on Kurenai, and you see that moment her eyes glaze over, her whole serious-jonin act just melts, and you can push her from “I’ll never obey you” to “should I use my tits or my tongue first, Master?” with like two choices. It’s wrong, it’s hot, and then it’s somehow even more wrong.

The funny thing is, the corruption is not even subtle. You charm, you push, then you flip the mental switch and suddenly someone like Temari, who normally would snap your neck, is awkwardly trying to give you a footjob because you told her this is “Sand Village protocol.” She complains, you tease, a bit of groping, and then the animation kicks in and she’s rubbing your dick with her toes while her face is this perfect mix of pissed and turned on. I kinda loved that. And then I hated how sometimes the pacing just dies between scenes for no reason. You get a brutal gangbang-style group sex setup with Mei and Samui on their knees, Tsunade in the back stroking you with her tits, creampie after creampie, and then the next bit of story is just walls of text about politics, like I didn’t just watch the Mizukage drooling on a cock that is technically controlling her brain. The game likes to drop you from intense anal with Ino straight into talky exposition about “support from other villages” and I kept wanting to yell at my phone. Yes, I’m on a bus, yes, I’m reading about Sakura getting her virginity stolen in a storage room behind Ichiraku, I have no shame, but at least keep the horny flow going, you know?

What I keep coming back to is how it handles power. It’s not romantic at all. You’re the guy who already broke Tsunade and now treats her like living proof that your technique works. At one point you use her as a demonstration, ordering her to lick Ayame clean after you finish inside her, like you’re showing off a trained pet. It’s fucked, but the game doesn’t pretend otherwise. The male domination is heavy, there’s BDSM flavor, and the harem thing isn’t some fluffy family vibe, it’s more like “these girls belong to my new village, and by village I mean my dick.” One moment you’re forcing Karin to ride you until she passes out, the next you’re making Hinata and Tenten play with toys on each other while you sit back and decide who gets your cum. Lesbian scenes feel like you’re watching puppets you pulled strings on, especially with the mind control touches, and I mean that as praise and also as a bit of a “Jesus Christ, dude.” There’s a corruption route where a girl who starts shy and stubborn ends up begging for anal, asking you to mark her womb, and you realize the game quietly shifted from teasing handjobs to full-on harem breeding fantasy. It pretends to be “just” a parody, but after a while, you’re in too deep to call it that with a straight face.

Love in Hyrule feels like somebody took a horny Zelda fanfic, fed it into a slightly drunk AI, then cleaned it up just enough so you can actually follow the story. You play this clueless guy who basically gets isekai’d into Hyrule and suddenly every woman with boobs bigger than common sense is very, very interested in you. Zelda, Zaphie, Kiya, Ribo… it’s a full harem setup, and the game doesn’t pretend to be subtle about it. One moment you’re “helping the princess with royal duties”, the next she’s asking you to “inspect” her new outfit while she slowly leans forward and you’re basically staring down her cleavage like a damn perv. And the game knows you’re a perv, it teases you for it, then rewards you anyway. It’s mostly a visual novel, Ren’Py style, tap-through dialogue, simple choices. You know the drill. But the AI CG and LewdSama art combo actually works better than I expected. Sometimes you get that uncanny AI face where Zelda’s eyes are like “I can see the backrooms,” but then you hit a scene where Kiya is riding you in a ruined temple, her tits bouncing, and you forget to be critical at all.

What surprised me is how much the game plays with consent while still being very explicit. A lot of adult games just jump straight to “you’re the hero, now fuck everything with a pulse.” Here you actually get moments where a girl stops and asks if you’re okay, if she can go further, if you want to watch or touch or both. There is voyeur stuff too, like spying on a bathing scene behind some rocks, and the MC actually hesitates for a second. Of course, you still end up staring at Zelda’s wet ass, but that tiny pause makes it feel different. As an AI ethics nerd, I kinda liked that they didn’t make the women mindless sex dolls, even if they’re clearly written to exist for your dick. There is this one scene with Ribo where she pretends to be completely fine with you pushing things faster, but her dialogue feels a bit off, like the game is trying to be kinky and respectful at the same time and ends up in a weird middle spot. It’s not noncon, it just feels slightly tone-deaf in the writing, like the AI couldn’t quite parse the nuance.

Anyway, if you’re expecting deep gameplay, forget it. Choices are mostly “do you flirt harder or pretend you’re innocent” and both paths still end in someone bouncing on your cock. The teasing is the real point: a lot of slow undressing, camera angles that stay on thighs and underboob while the text keeps poking at your patience. I actually laughed when the game described Zelda’s “modest dress” while the art showed her tits barely contained and her ass pushed out like a porn thumbnail. Also, for a “mobile-friendly” thing, the text spacing sometimes goes weird and cuts a really hot line in half, and it annoyed me way more than it should, but I just kept tapping anyway. There is a whole joke about the “Legend of Zenda” at one point, and nobody corrects it, which made me think the dev did it on purpose and then I started overthinking the parody angle instead of focusing on the sex scene happening on screen. Classic brain sabotage. Anyway, the game is horny, messy in a charming way, way too obsessed with big tits and big asses, and weirdly more aware of virtual consent than a lot of “serious” stuff using AI right now, while still having you peep on girls in baths like a little creep.

Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.