Queens nightlife, shitty subway delays, thumb going numb from swiping left, and suddenly your phone actually vibrates for something that isn’t a spam bot or your bank yelling at you. Three matches. Same day. All real faces, no “follow my OnlyFans” garbage, no stolen Instagram pics. The game drops you right in that moment where your brain goes from “whatever” to “ok, don’t fuck this up” and it stays locked in that feeling the whole time. It’s not some fantasy harem bullshit where girls fall on your dick just because you exist. You’re a guy who’s been losing on the apps, kind of tired, kind of horny, kind of lonely, scrolling at night in Queens while Netflix auto plays crap in the background. Then those three women show up like the algorithm finally felt guilty.

What I really liked is how human the dates feel when they actually start. You sit across from her, she laughs at something you didn’t even think was funny, and you’re already overthinking your next line. The game really milks that small awkward silence before a first kiss, or when you’re not sure if you should move closer on the couch. There’s a bar scene where you’re both half tipsy, and she leans in to tell you some stupid story about an ex, and the camera just lingers too long on her lips while your answers change how flirty things get. You say something a bit bold, her eyes linger on you a second longer, hand brushing your thigh like “oops” but absolutely not an accident. If you play safe, you still feel the tension, like her body is a half step ahead of her words. Third date with each woman is where the clothes finally start to lose the battle. Soft moans, a bra strap sliding down slow, fingers under a skirt while she pretends to keep talking about music. Nothing hardcore, but the game knows exactly how to make “her breath catching when your hand moves higher” feel obscene in the best way. The sex is more about how she looks at you when you unzip her than about angles and fluids, which honestly hits harder than some extreme porn stuff.

The cool thing, or maybe annoying thing, is how much the full motion scenes lock you into her vibe. When she smiles, it’s not a perfect porn star thing, it’s messy, real, like she’s actually into you and maybe a bit nervous herself. One of the dates has that cheap apartment lighting with a lamp too bright in the background, and it feels like every shitty real-life hookup, except here the girl is actually interesting and not checking her phone mid kiss. The choices you make across the three meetings slowly crank the intimacy, like going from “safe small talk at a coffee shop” to “her grinding on your lap in a dark corner where you definitely should get caught but don’t care.” Sometimes the game blue-balls you when you think you’re getting more than softcore, but that denial actually kind of works, like she’s teasing you on purpose and not giving you everything yet. In one route she keeps her panties on during the whole oral scene and you can see that wet spot growing while she bites her lip and pretends she’s still in control, which is honestly hotter than a lot of games that show everything. You’re juggling three women, three different chemistry patterns, trying not to say the same lazy line to all of them, because the writing actually calls you out if you act like a copy paste dude. You feel that little stab of guilt when you’re making out with one on her couch while remembering how another one laughed at your dumb joke the previous night. It’s a slow burn, full of kisses that go on for just a little too long, hands slipping where they shouldn’t, and the heavy question hanging in the air after date nine: who are you going to actually keep fucking, and who are you going to leave on read.

Tiny northern village, cold air, warm mouths. That’s the vibe here. You play this city-trained chef who drops into a place that looks quiet from outside, but every person you meet is either horny, weird, or both. The “friend’s restaurant” is basically your hub of chaos. You start chopping onions and two minutes later somebody’s hand is around your cock under the prep table while you’re trying not to burn the sauce. It’s got that small-town feeling where everyone knows everyone, and everyone wants to know what’s in your pants. Half the time you’re cooking, half the time you’re wondering how the hell this tiny village ended up with so many hot moms, pushy coworkers and straight up monster babes walking around like that’s normal.

The restaurant is your excuse to bump into all of them. Milf regular who pretends she only comes for the soup, but keeps “forgetting” her panties. Coworker that gives you shit about your knife skills while very calmly pressing her foot into your crotch behind the bar, like that’s part of the job. There’s a monster girl from the edge of the village who shows up after dark, hood on, wants something “rare” and ends up with your dick in her mouth under the table while you pray nobody walks in. Scenes don’t just pop out of nowhere, they grow out of these little moments: wiping a counter together, joking about some stupid order, then suddenly she’s got you pinned against the fridge with her knee between your legs and this look like “you’re not going anywhere”. Sometimes you’re the one in control, sometimes they just use you like a toy and you kinda love it. The game leans into that mix of romance and being absolutely manhandled, with enough humor that it doesn’t feel like some edgy teen fantasy, more like a dirty sitcom that got left alone with a porn budget.

Sex itself gets pretty spicy. Proper animated stuff: slow strokes when a milf wraps her hand around you in the storeroom, sloppy spit when a girl goes down on you behind the closed kitchen door, her lipstick smearing while she tries to keep quiet and fails. Foot stuff shows up in the funniest moments, like you’re at work, having this serious talk about menu changes, and under the table she’s already nudging your cock with her toes, then sliding her sole up and down while still arguing about garnish. There’s lesbian bits too, like catching two village girls in the back after closing, one fingering the other over the sink while they think nobody sees them, then pulling you in because “we might as well use the chef too”. Masturbation scenes feel oddly personal, like the milf next door riding her own fingers while thinking about your cooking, or the monster girl in the woods grinding on your discarded jacket. Vaginal, oral, handjobs, even that scene where a woman rides your face like she owns the place and then makes you beg before she lets you fuck her. It’s all pretty raw, a bit goofy sometimes, and weirdly cozy for a game with that much spit, cum and moaning going on in a village with sheep in the background and a restaurant that absolutely would fail a health inspection if anyone saw what really happens in that kitchen.

TableTop BornStar is that kind of filth that pretends to be a respectable “board game experiment” and then just drags you into a slow, dirty corruption trip where you end up clicking “yes” to things you swore you wouldn’t. You’re this washed-up talent agent stuck in his office with an ankle bracelet, basically a horny goblin in a cheap suit, and you’ve got Mary Jane on the phone and in your cams, this adorable country girl who thinks Hollywood is about “art” and “dreams” and has no idea what cumshot even means yet. Every turn is dice and cards and little choices that feel small, like “take this photoshoot” or “meet this producer” or “try this new ‘acting exercise’ that just happens to involve a vibrator under the table”. Then ten turns later she’s doing anal for a low-budget indie “thriller” and you’re like, ok, maybe that one friendly massage suggestion was the start of a very long fall. It’s fun how the management side is just enough to feel like you’re actually running some crooked porn empire from your phone while you’re on the toilet, checking stats like “fame” and “innocence” and “kink” like it’s a spreadsheet, except the spreadsheet moans and asks if you like her new lingerie.

What really got me addicted is how the game keeps throwing you these decisions that sound sweet or romantic, then immediately gives you a way nastier branch if you’re in the mood to be a complete bastard. You can play the nice manager, hold her hand (and yeah, later, more than hand) and try to keep things “classy”, take her on slow-burn romance scenes, oral under the desk, soft cuddling after a creampie, all that fake Hollywood love story vibe. Or you can push her into exhibitionist gigs where she’s stripping in a cheap club with drunk assholes grabbing her big ass, backstage masturbation sessions just to “relax before the take”, weird board game events where a card suddenly lets you suggest a lesbian scene with her roommate and the only thing stopping you is your own conscience, which you probably left at the title screen. I had one run where she started in this cute sundress, barely kissing anyone, next thing she’s on a casting couch with three guys, toys involved, you’re watching from a camera like some happy little voyeur, and the game just shrugs like, “Hey, you rolled the card.” Then another run I tried to be more caring, focused on romance, and still somehow ended up with pregnancy drama and her asking if you’ll stay with her while she’s rubbing her belly and offering you a footjob because “you helped her so much”. Completely fucked up in the best way.

What I didn’t expect is how funny it is sometimes. There’s these stupid jokes about Hollywood, failed movies, directors who think they’re geniuses because they added one artsy black-and-white sex scene, and your character is just roasting everyone while also setting up gangbang auditions. The humor kind of hides how rough some choices are. One card event I got had Mary Jane doing a “serious” acting workshop which turns into blindfolded “trust exercises”, and the sound of the dice roll made me way more nervous than it should. Speaking of sounds, the audio is surprisingly decent: little gasps when you push her too far, slaps during spanking scenes that feel almost too real on headphones, wet sucking during oral that made me close other tabs fast so nobody hears. I wish there was a bit more variety in some moans, sometimes they loop in a way that made me think my browser bugged out, but I still kept playing, so whatever. The animated bits are short, kind of rough, but that fits the late 90s Hollywood trash vibe, like watching old bootleg porn tapes someone recorded over daytime TV. And those multiple endings sneak up on you: one time she was broken, fully corrupted and still smiling on red carpets, another time she was this successful “serious actress” who secretly sends you nudes between shoots, and I’m pretty sure there’s at least one path where you actually don’t ruin her completely, but I keep accidentally pulling cards with sex toys and group sex offers, so maybe I’m the problem, not the game.

You come back to your hometown like some half-broken stray dog, pretending it’s a “fresh start” when actually it feels more like the universe dragging you back by the collar. New school, familiar streets, same old dirty brain. The game leans hard into that mix of normal teenage school life and quiet filth humming under everything. Classrooms, corridors, rooftops, locker rooms, all these places that look innocent if you squint and then you notice how the girls bend over the desks, how their skirts ride up just a bit too high, how you can “accidentally” brush against them in a crowd and they react in that way that makes you doubt if it was really an accident at all. Or maybe you know it wasn’t.

The art is actually weirdly charming. Not perfect, some faces look a bit off, some poses feel like the artist’s hand got tired halfway, but that gives it personality. The big tits are not just big; they have weight and attitude. A mature teacher leaning over you, her blouse straining, a soft bounce when she straightens, the faint line of sweat between them after standing in front of the board too long. She acts strict, but the way her eyes linger on you is not teacher-like at all. I really like how the game plays with that tension: she’s supposed to scold you for being distracted, but she is the distraction. Or maybe I just have issues, which is also possible. One moment you’re listening to some boring school drama, next moment you’re pressing a milf against the wall in an empty office and groping her ass like you own the place. The fantasy side of it slips in slowly: the “power” you get doesn’t just let you throw fireballs or something stupid, it lets you twist situations, nudge emotions, tilt the balance so that a simple look becomes an order and a shy girl suddenly stops resisting your wandering hands. That little spark where consent blurs into obedience is the whole erotic engine here, and the game knows it very well.

What kept me there longer than I want to admit was the voyeur thing. You’re in this school that pretends to be safe, and you find yourself peeking through doors, catching girls changing, noticing how they touch themselves when they think no one can see. There is a scene in the bathrooms where the sound design does more work than the visuals: you hear soft moans through a thin wall and you decide if you burst in, watch quietly, or use your little supernatural edge to push things further. I actually spent too long watching one side character who almost never speaks, just because of the way she sits by the window in class, her skirt sliding up, thigh exposed, lost in her own horny little world, now and then glancing at you like she knows you can read her thoughts. Funny thing, the romance bits sometimes feel more intimate than the outright porn. Walking home with a girl after school, your hand brushing hers over and over, her cheeks red, and then when you finally grab her wrist and pull her into a dark alley, all that slow sweetness flips into rough kissing, your fingers digging under her bra, her breath catching as you push her back against the cold brick. It’s romantic and trashy at the same time. Some routes feel like a harem slowly forming around you, every woman orbiting your power and your dick, but there are also these little quiet moments that almost make you forget you’re playing a power fantasy. Almost. Then you’re using your superhuman influence to make the proud class rep drop to her knees in a locked classroom, tears in her eyes, lipstick smeared, and all that “fresh start” bullshit proves itself to be exactly what it always was: an excuse to fuck your way through your past. Honestly, the save menu design irritates me more than any moral issue, but that’s another story.