The village is burning, everybody screams about prophecy and clan wars, and you’re just there with your dick in your hand, realizing your family was hiding the wildest shit from you for generations. That is basically the feeling here. One second you are this “normal guy,” next second some ancient enemy shows up, kidnaps half the ninja world, and you find out that the only way to fix anything is to run around a big messy sandbox full of horny kunoichi who all, for some reason, need your cock more than therapy. It starts almost like a joke. You meet Hinata and she is shy, gentle, blushing, doing that soft eye thing while hinting that she is ready to “help” with your training. Two scenes later you’re getting your soul sucked out by her in a storage room while her husband is technically part of the plot somewhere out there. The game just goes “yeah, that’s a problem, but also look at her lips” and honestly I respect that.

What really hits is how it mixes this “hero must save everyone” story with the dirtiest family and village drama. You jump from Milf Tsunade grinding on you in some half-serious “medical exam,” to Sarada pretending she only wants to learn combat, then suddenly she is on her knees, drooling on your shaft in an alley while you keep checking if anyone is watching. The voyeur thing keeps coming back in small ways, like catching Temari touching herself through her shorts when she thinks no one is around, or spying on Mikoto in the bath, water sliding off her tits while she stares into distance like she already knows she is going to end up bent over for you anyway. Then the game hits you with loli stuff like Himawari or Hanabi looking way too eager to prove themselves and you sit there thinking, “ok, I am going to hell,” but you keep clicking. There is this one route where you corrupt a virgin girl so slowly, with teasing, little gropes, “accidental” touches during combat training, that by the time you finally go deep inside her she is begging you to breed her like you did to her mom. It is wrong on like ten levels and still hot as fuck.

The whole thing is also weirdly funny. Half the time it feels like a parody of the original series, like when Anko turns a serious mission briefing into a blowjob under the table, or when Karin keeps pretending she cares about “bloodlines” right before letting you rail her raw, talking about making the strongest baby while you are already cumming in her. One moment you’re involved in this heavy clan plot, with enemies, old grudges, revenge, and in the next scene Chocho jumps on you, riding you like some cheap motel toy, saying she deserves “main heroine” treatment. There is cheating everywhere, husbands and dads in danger while their wives and daughters moan your name. Sakura choking on your cock, Kurenai acting like a proper teacher until she spreads her legs and asks you to fill her just so she can “understand the corruption.” The game never really pretends to be moral. It just lets you stack a full harem of milfs, teens, lolis, Uzumaki redheads, Uchiha princesses, the whole village basically, and slowly turn them into your personal breeding toys, one by one, with vaginal, anal, oral, messy cumshots, pregnancy talk, the whole package. Every route feels like another bad ending for them and a secret happy ending for you, and if that sentence makes you smile even a little, yeah, this thing is made exactly for you.

You’re this freshly graduated hero kid at U.A., but it doesn’t feel like shiny heroic future at all. It feels like hanging backstage in a strip club dressing room, still in costume, still sweating glitter, but the show’s over and now all the real shit happens. Principal gives you this “secret mission” and smiles like a manager who knows damn well you’re going to break every rule he just pretended to explain. Your quirk is stupid strong, perfect for fighting villains… or for peeking, teasing, touching where you really, absolutely, totally shouldn’t.

The whole thing plays like a messy dating sim and a sandbox had a baby with a horny fanfic. One moment you’re walking around the school corridors, same old U.A. uniforms and doors and boring hero talk. Next thing, you’re alone on a training field with Ochaco, she’s stretching, her shirt riding up, and the camera just loves her tits and that ass. She’s talking about becoming a pro hero, and in my head I’m already planning a burlesque routine: pink lights, zero gravity pasties, her floating slowly out of her clothes while the crowd loses its mind. The game lets you be polite and romantic, or you just… lean in, test the waters, “accidentally” brush against her curves and see how far your quirk and a bit of groping can go before she blushes or snaps.

Then there’s Jiro, and I swear I misremembered her name twice while playing, I kept calling her “Kyomi” in my notes. She’s this cool, low-key girl, headphones, attitude, but the way the scenes are drawn, you can’t miss how soft she looks under the punk vibe. I had this idea in my head of a slow striptease to bass-heavy rock, her jack plugs trailing down like suspenders, but the game goes instead for something more intimate. Tiny room, lights low, her teasing you with that deadpan sarcasm while your hands travel way too far under her clothes. It’s not subtle. Nothing here is subtle. And still, sometimes the pacing drags, like when you’re trying to find the right place to click in the sandbox and you just want to skip straight to Midnight bending over a desk in that skin-tight latex, giving “teacher-student conference” a whole different meaning. I swear I spent longer looking for one dialogue trigger than I ever spent rehearsing a fan dance.

Mirko is a whole different beast. Literally. I see her and my brain goes “this is not a hero, this is a headliner in a rabbit-themed cabaret.” Those muscles, those thighs, those ears, that attitude. In my routine version she’d stomp on stage, grab a chair, sit on it backwards and grind on it like it owed her rent. In the game, when you finally get a private moment with her, the vibe is wild and physical. She teases you, calls you out, gets in your face. You try to keep it romantic and the script almost lets you… then the art just zooms straight into her big tits and tight ass and suddenly romance is wrestling. I loved it and still kinda hated how fast things escalated, but anyway. Rumi doesn’t do half-measures.

The voyeurism angle sneaks up on you. First it’s “oops, you walked past the changing room at the wrong time”, then later you’re lingering on windows, peeping at shower steam and silhouettes, heartbeat racing like you’re doing something very illegal. And you are, to be honest. Some scenes feel like you’re the pervy stagehand watching from behind the curtains while the girls change costumes, not knowing you’re there. As a dancer, I got this weird guilty thrill, because it really captures that feeling of eyes on skin, of power in being looked at… even if here the player is the one stealing the look. There is romance, cute moments, walking through the school talking about futures and dreams, and somehow five minutes later your hands are full of big tits or you’re pressing some flustered, wide-eyed girl against the wall and whispering what you want to do to her.

The art is pure 2D fan-fantasy, not “professional anime studio” level but dirty enough to feel fun. Sometimes a pose looks a little off and I laughed, then two clicks later I’m staring at Mirko’s sweaty abs like I never saw abs before. The game lets you flirt, grope, push your luck, and your quirk becomes this excuse for every bad thought you ever had while watching the show. Is it refined? No. Parts feel awkward, some dialogues made me roll my eyes, and I still don’t know why one scene with Kendo broke on me and sent me back to the hallway like I’d been kicked out of the club for touching the dancer. But then I see Midnight leaning over, breasts about to spill, playful smile promising trouble, and suddenly I forgive a lot. Not everything. But a lot.

Bolsdip sounds like the kind of town where nothing happens, but then you walk around for five minutes and suddenly you are watching your hot neighbor masturbate through a half open curtain and pretending this is “part of the investigation”. You play this young detective who comes back home carrying big city attitude, small town trauma, and a dick that keeps voting against professional ethics. On the surface it is this classic mystery thing: weird disappearances, rumors about supernatural shit, people keeping secrets. But the game quietly keeps shifting everything into sex. Every clue, every locked door, every awkward chat in the college hallway somehow slides toward blackmail, seduction, or some fucked up mix of both where you are not sure if you are saving them or corrupting them further. It feels less like solving cases and more like peeling clothes off reality, one layer at a time.

The way it plays is relaxed and a bit messy in a good way. You click around town, poke at objects, wait for certain times of day, and different scenes unlock depending on what you already screwed up or screwed. One run I spent ages orbiting the local professor, this classy-looking woman who talks like she teaches ethics but dresses like she cosplays her own students’ fantasies. Conversation with her starts academic, about motives and perception and all that, then suddenly she is pressing you against her office desk, whispering about “research” while her hand slides down your pants. It’s not just “sex scene, reward, next”. She keeps referencing previous choices, teasing you for hesitating when she first offered to “help you relax”, and if you push back she flips into this cool femdom mode, sitting on her chair and making you kneel between her legs while she explains moral philosophy like it’s foreplay. I wish the transitions between normal talk and horny talk were less abrupt sometimes, but at the same time that abruptness kind of feels right, like how real desire cuts into small talk without asking.

Next door is the milf who looks way too perfect for this shitty little town. She bakes, she smiles, she leans over in yoga pants in a way that absolutely counts as exhibitionism. She acts all caring, nostalgic about when you were younger, but the camera angle really cares only about her tits and her ass. You end up in these situations where you “help” her carry boxes, fix some minor thing in her house, and the reward rapidly goes from a hug to her guiding your head between her legs on the living room couch while some boring TV show is on in the background. There is this one scene where she pretends to be half asleep on the sofa and you are standing there, watching her nipples harden under the shirt, and the game lets you choose whether to be a good guy or quietly slide your hand under the fabric. It feels dirty in a very aware way, like the game is staring right into that part of your brain that always wonders what you would really do if nobody judged you. And then, when you think you have the pattern, the game throws that hidden baocat thing at you, so suddenly you are clicking around locations looking for a ridiculous little mascot that unlocks some extra lewd toy or secret animation. It is silly, breaks the mood, makes you grin, and somehow also makes the next blowjob scene feel more earned, because you hunted a stupid cat for it. The whole thing ends up like a horny detective diary: a slow burn of mysteries, voyeur moments, guilt-flavored orgasms, and the constant sense that Bolsdip itself is getting wetter and weirder the deeper you push.

First time I opened it, I thought the colors looked a bit too clean, like candy wrappers in a porn set. But then she turned her head - Alya - and her eyes had this lazy way of tracking you, half bored, half aware you’re staring at her chest. It’s supposed to be parody, right? But it feels like the people who made it both love and mock what they’re copying. The male lead moves like he’s unsure if he deserves to be there, which somehow makes the whole thing dirtier. There’s something wildly unbalanced about how quick it switches from sweet talk to her mouth sliding down him. No fade-outs, no convenient camera cut. It just lingers. Too long maybe. Or not long enough.

The dating sim mechanics are barely pretending to matter. Tap, choose, get flustered text messages, and suddenly you’re deep in a warm rhythm that feels too personal for something you’re doing on your phone. I caught myself thinking about her hair texture mid-scene - like, how soft would it actually be after? That’s the kind of stupid detail that shouldn’t matter, but it’s there. She teases constantly, calling him “senpai” in a voice that sounds more drunk than shy. The transitions between affection and filth are messy, which I kind of adore. You can tell the animators didn’t care about polishing it smooth; they wanted it to *feel* like it could go wrong at any moment. When she presses against him, breasts heavy and animated with this exaggerated bounce, I almost laugh. Then I don’t.

There’s a scene (pretty sure it’s optional) where she insists on finishing him while keeping eye contact, and it’s uncomfortable and hot in a way only parody can be. The game pretends to be romantic, but the romance cracks open fast once things start moving under the sheets. Maybe that’s the point - pretend sweetness wrapped around shameless fucking. You could call it satire. But I’d rather call it honest.