Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

You wake up and it’s just… wrong. Not hell, not heaven, more like the horny waiting room nobody told you about. This smug bitch in heels, Miss Fortune, sits there with that “I own your soul and your dick” vibe, talking to you like she already read your browser history twice. She explains you’re dead way too casually, then basically offers you this cursed-sex-tour through a fantasy world where goblins are everywhere and somehow everyone has ridiculous boobs and zero shame. It feels like someone mixed hentai logic with a fucked-up fairy tale and then said “yeah, that’s enough plot, now go fuck things.” The writing leans into it too. Miss Fortune teases you every time you think you’re in control, like she’s watching from some upper menu, laughing when you pick the degenerate option… which is all of them, honestly.

The actual wandering around is more fun than it should be. You walk into a tavern expecting the usual boring NPC talk and instead there’s this big-titted goblin girl leaning over the counter like she’s about to fall out of her clothes on purpose. I picked the “play it cool” dialogue, and five clicks later I’m balls deep in her, she’s riding me on a dirty table, boobs bouncing everywhere, and the game throws in a titfuck scene just because it can. No fade to black, no “are you sure”, just “you touched her, now deal with it.” Some scenes are rough in that kinky way, with ropes and collars and that bastard feeling of “I probably deserve this.” One goblin dom literally drags your character around by the leash and talks shit like she’s streaming on Twitch. It’s funny and hot and a bit stupid, but in a good way. Then sometimes the pacing is weird, like you go from filthy BDSM dungeon to awkward small-talk with some random NPC with no transition, and the horny mood falls flat for a minute. Also there was one chest in a cave I clicked three times and nothing happened and now I hate that chest forever. But then you run into some new character who calls you a “useless dead meat toy” and grinds on your face and you forget you were annoyed. It’s that kinda experience. Messy, horny as fuck, not pretending to be deep, just constantly tossing you into new goblin sex trouble while Miss Fortune smirks like she planned it from the start.

You roll into Dusuka City thinking it’s just another “smart dude goes to rich-kid academy” story, and then the game hits you with this weird mix of horny slice-of-life, lowkey superhero shit, and fucked up family tension that kinda sits in your head longer than it should. You’re the male MC, obviously, but he’s not the usual cardboard pornstar puppet, he actually feels like that guy who thinks he’s smooth because he watched too much porn, then freezes when a girl actually grabs his dick. The adoptive mom energy is heavy from the first scene, like she’s way too close, way too worried, and the camera knows exactly where her tits are at all times. She’s nervous, you’re confused, and that awkward vibe never fully goes away, even later when you’re deciding whether to grope her in the kitchen or pretend you’re a decent human. The incest tension is kind of the point, but it doesn’t jump straight to “ok we fuck now”, it teases the hell out of you first. She’ll sit too close on the couch, talk about “family” while her cleavage is trying to escape, and the game just lets you stew in it.

The academy itself is like a horny sandbox playground wrapped in a school setting, with everyone way too hot for a place that supposedly cares about education. You wander around, chase events, check your phone way too much like you’re on Instagram instead of a porn game, and slowly figure out that yeah, you’ve got powers. Not “save the world” stuff, more like “I can nudge minds and maybe get away with sliding my hand up a thigh in class” kind of powers. It’s scummy, and the game knows it, so it throws female domination at you as a counterweight. Some girls just do not give a shit about your abilities and will ride your face like you’re the one under their spell. There’s this scene with a senior chick with huge tits, where you think you’re going to control her, and she just flips it, sits on your lap, and uses your cock like a toy while telling you exactly how small you are without her. Handjob, titfuck, footjob, whatever, she cycles through it like she’s testing a feature list, and yeah, I still think about how her heel pressed on your chest while she jerked you off. Completely unnecessary, completely great.

The lesbian stuff sneaks in sideways, you’re not always the center. Two girls in a study room “helping each other relax” while you spy through a door, and you can decide if you intervene with your powers or just watch them eat each other out on the desk where midterms happen. The teasing is relentless: girls brushing against you in the hallway, random groping choices where you know you shouldn’t but you click anyway, big asses and big tits animated just enough that you think “ok, one more scene” then realize your dick’s already out. There’s a lot of dating sim flavor too, picking answers that either make the girl melt or make her step on your ego. I liked how sometimes you get rewarded for acting like a perv, and sometimes you get punished and dragged into this femdom moment where she pins you, strokes you painfully slow, and only lets you cum when she’s done using your mouth. The only thing that really pissed me off is how the phone app vibrates in-game with a tiny little icon that looks like a real notification, made me check my actual phone like an idiot every time. Never got used to it. Anyway, the game is messy, horny as hell, a bit mean, and kind of charming in that “I should not be enjoying this family situation, but here we are” way.

Your grandparents vanish off the face of the earth, everyone acts like they’re dead, and the whole town just kind of… moves on. Years later you roll back in, phone in your pocket, brain full of horny thoughts you really shouldn’t have while asking people about missing old folks. It starts quiet. A simple mobile-style interface, tapping around like you’re just checking Instagram, but each location you poke has a little secret. A window left half open. A shower running too long. A MILF neighbor “too friendly” who somehow knows way more about your grandparents than she should, but instead you’re watching her bend over, thinking with your dick and not your head. Classic.

It tries to be a mystery first, and somehow still rubs your face in sex every few minutes. You follow clues like a point and click, only instead of boring keys and doors, you catch a girl masturbating with a toy on her couch because you checked the wrong camera at the right time. Or the right camera at the wrong time, depends how moral you are, I guess. There’s this voyeur vibe everywhere: security feeds in weird places, people who “didn’t know the camera is on,” and you, the good little detective, totally not replaying the clip three times before interrogating her about where she was the night your grandparents disappeared. The game teases you constantly. Women strip to distract you mid-dialogue, big tits pushed in your face while you’re trying to remember who lied about the last time they saw grandma. You tell yourself you’re focused on the case, but the next scene is you balls deep, creampie, and then going “oh shit, what was I doing again.”

What really messed with me is that there are superpower bits thrown into this small-town detective story like it’s normal. Suddenly you’re reading micro-expressions, nudging minds, or freezing time long enough to enjoy an “accidental” upskirt that lasts way too long to be accidental. It’s half sci-fi, half horny soap opera. The pacing is kinda weird sometimes, you’ll be in a really tender romance moment with a shy girl finally taking off her clothes slow, proper teasing, then the next tap dumps you in some sandbox area where a dominant older woman drags you around by the balls and talks like she owns the whole town. And you let her. Of course you let her. There’s one scene where a so-called respectable “auntie” type corners you during an “investigation,” pushes you into a chair, rides you until you’re shaking, then tells you important story info while you’re still buried inside her. That mix of information and sex is absolutely stupid and also exactly what my brain wanted. Animation helps a lot, nothing crazy, but enough bounce and wetness that when a big ass grinds on you, it actually feels like something. The game jokes about itself too, throwing in weird humor about old people, porn logic, and how no one ever calls the police, like it knows exactly what kind of trash it is. And yeah, sometimes the dialogue hits like a bad meme from 2014, yet I kept tapping, waiting for the next time a “serious interview” turned into you on your back, MILF on top, mystery temporarily forgotten under her.