Grand Butt-Sex Hotel feels like the kind of game teenage me always dreamed about finding on some shady Flash site, except now it actually runs smooth on my phone and doesn’t crash when the good part starts. You play this kinda hapless dude who walks into this fancy hotel thinking “oh cool, job, money, normal life maybe” and instead you get thrown into a place where the managers and guests are mostly tall smug futa ladies with thick thighs, huge tits and way too much money, who look at you like you’re a walking stress toy. The whole vibe is luxury mixed with porn parody, like someone mashed a five-star resort with one of those cursed hentai doujins you pretend you “found by accident”. You’re basically staff and chew-toy at the same time. One second you’re talking politely at the front desk, the next a classy futa businesswoman is pushing you against the counter and making you suck her cock while the elevator dings in the background. The game treats that as completely normal, which is honestly kinda funny and hot at same time.

What really hit my nostalgia brain is how the humor and horny stuff are glued together. The dialogue is full of dumb jokes, weird “rich people fetish” lines, and that slightly awkward English that somehow makes the dirty talk work better. There’s this scene where a petite “trap” guest shows up looking cute and shy, then calmly pulls out a suitcase full of toys and asks if you’re “hotel-certified” for anal service, like it’s spa menu item. You get the dating sim vibe, picking how polite or thirsty your responses are, and it actually changes how hard they ride you later. One futa with a giant ass teases you for being “vanilla” if you only go for oral, then drags you to her room, bends you over the bed and you feel like you’re signing a contract with your asshole. Some of the animations are nicely timed with the moans, especially the oral shots where your head is bobbing and her balls tap your chin, but then sometimes a loop will reset at a weird moment and my brain just goes “why did her hips teleport”. And the loading between scenes on mobile Chrome lagged right during a blowjob payoff, which annoyed me more than it should, but I still kept playing, because of course I did.

The hotel setting lets them throw in all kinds of guests: tall dark-skinned futa with big tits who treats you like a room amenity, some smug white CEO type who wants you on your knees under the table during “business calls”, a nerdy girl with glasses who secretly has the thickest cock and uses a vibrating toy in your ass while she scrolls on her phone, barely looking at you. There are races mixed, body types, a lot of big asses pressing you into fancy sheets. Sometimes the female domination goes pretty hard, like humiliating dirty talk while they make you lick their shaft clean after anal, and other times it’s oddly sweet, like a futa patting your head after using you and tipping you like a good bellboy. It’s funny, because the game pretends to be this outrageous fetish buffet, but the thing that stuck with me most was one quiet moment in a hallway, where you’re exhausted, cum probably still dripping somewhere, and a guest just smirks, adjusts her bulge, and tells you she booked you for “wake-up service” tomorrow. That tiny little line hit way harder in my head than half the loud scenes. Also, the hotel lobby music slaps in the weirdest way. I caught myself humming it while opening TikTok, which is completely wrong for this kind of game and now my brain is cursed forever.

Mr. SmallCockMC sounds like a joke name a drunk Discord server would come up with, but here it actually fits the whole vibe of the game weirdly well. You drop into this world as this average dude with a not-so-average problem in his pants, married to a wife who looks like she wandered out of a porn hub thumbnail: huge tits barely fitting in any of her tops, thick ass, soft belly, that kind of “I had kids but I got hotter” milf energy. And the game just leans on that. Hard. She walks around in clothes that are technically outfits but basically just invitations, and everyone around you notices way more than you do at first. Bartender staring down her cleavage, neighbor “accidentally” brushing against her ass, random guys drooling when she bends over. You’re this smaller dude trying to act normal while every scene screams “someone is going to fuck your wife.”

The fun is in how it slowly stops being just background teasing and turns into actual decisions for you. One moment you’re at a small house party, drinking beer, watching her laugh too hard at some dude’s joke. Next moment you’re in the kitchen, and she’s cornered between the fridge and this tall black guy, his hands on her hips, kissing her like he already owns that pussy. The game lets you watch, interrupt, pretend you don’t see, or, you know, lean on the doorframe like a creep while her lipstick smears on his cock when she drops to her knees. That first proper oral scene with her on the floor, gagging a bit, trying to keep eye contact with you while his dick actually fills her mouth bigger than anything you can give, hits way harder than I expected. I was sitting there with my mouse, half annoyed at the janky menu buttons, and still thinking “ok yeah, this is hot as fuck.” The UI looks like something someone set up in a weekend, but when she’s riding him on the couch, tits bouncing, your character awkwardly jerking off in the corner, you kinda forget the rough edges.

And yeah, the game is petty about size, in a funny way. Every time she pulls out another dude’s cock you almost hear the dev giggling. Thick shaft between her huge boobs while she squeezes them around him, your character looking tiny and useless. Later there’s a swap night with another couple where it goes from “sharing a few drinks” to “her moaning on top of the other husband while the wife straddles you and literally calls you cute instead of hot,” and that stings more than any stat screen. There’s even a scene with a very feminine “trap” character who looks better in stockings than your wife does, and of course your girl ends up pressed against them, kissing while you watch, then both of them grinding on some guy like they forgot you exist. Double penetration shows up too, in a way that almost feels like the game is bullying you personally: she’s pinned between two dudes, one in her pussy, one in her ass, big hands on her waist, and you’re the one holding a camera so they can “remember the night.” It’s kind of messed up, kind of hilarious, kind of hot. Like watching a long Pornhub playlist that accidentally got plot and humiliation mixed in. The art is still rough in spots, some faces look off, and sometimes the pacing feels like edging that goes too long, but when she’s standing half naked on a balcony letting some stranger grope her tits while traffic passes below, you forget all of that and just think “yeah, this guy really is Mr. SmallCock.”