Game hits you right away with this weird mix of cheap humor and actually decent writing. You start as a girl witcher knockoff, more tits than armor, walking from town to town like you’re on a serious epic quest, except every second NPC basically wants to get in your pants or pay you in pussy instead of coins. It feels a bit like someone took a Witcher fanfic, ripped out half the plot, shoved in a porn comic, then accidentally left some real RPG bits in. One second you’re checking your inventory and comparing stats, next second you’re in a barn licking out some horny merchant’s wife while the game pretends this is a “choice with consequences”.

What I liked is that it doesn’t pretend to be classy. You talk to a witch in the woods, and she’s not some mysterious mentor type. She’s a disaster lesbian with a potion addiction, happy to turn you into her personal toy if you pick the wrong dialogue. There was this one scene where she “tests your loyalty” by making you kneel and eat her out while her apprentice watches, and I honestly expected fade-to-black. Nope. You get full text, way more detail than needed about tongue, fingers, that kind of thing. Reward is a spell upgrade and also she marks you so some townsfolk react differently later, which is way more attention to detail than this trashy game deserves. And yeah, sometimes the English is a bit weird, but honestly that just makes the dirty talk feel more filthy somehow.

The quests swing between serious and totally dumb. I had one “hunt the cursed beast” thing in a village that turned into catching a runaway sheep-girl who was hiding in the mill and only agrees to come back if you “calm her down” with your hands between her legs. Another job starts like a classic monster contract, tracking footprints and asking questions in tavern, then turns into a threesome with two female bandits who tie your character up on a table and take turns sitting on your face. There’s no real fade between plot and porn, it just flips suddenly, like the dev wrote a normal quest then got horny halfway. Sometimes it works, sometimes it just feels like you clicked the wrong Ren’Py project.

Sex scenes are mostly you as the active one with other women, which is nice, because half the time in these games you end up as some blank slab. Here you get proper lesbian scenes: pinning a noble’s daughter to her own bed after catching her sneaking out, fingering a scarred warrior in the bath until she’s begging, sharing a tavern wench with another witch while both of you trash talk each other. Some encounters change if you played rude earlier, like one girl spitting insults at you while still grinding on your thigh because you shook her down for money before. Annoyed me that sometimes the game teases an option, like a flirty line with a trader girl, then never lets you actually hook up with her. I kept checking the wiki and random VNDB comments on my phone because I thought I was missing a flag, but nope, that route just doesn’t exist.

It pretends to be a serious fantasy parody with all this talk about contracts, kingdoms, monster lore, and then your “epic moral decision” is basically whether you help a witch escape the city or stay and fuck the captain of the guard in her office until she can’t walk. And I’m not even complaining. Well, I am, because the UI buttons are tiny and my dumb thumb kept hitting the wrong dialogue on my tablet, and I still kinda hate that, but then it throws another wet, messy, jealous-lesbian scene at me and my brain forgets everything. At least until the next fetch quest where you run around like an unpaid intern for a horny sorceress who only sometimes pays you in orgasms.

Dirty Fantasy feels like someone took your Pornhub search history, your old Witcher saves and half of r/LeagueNSFW, threw them in a blender and said “yeah, fuck it, that’s the story now”. You play as this very self-aware male protagonist who is clearly written by someone that thinks he’s a macho god, but somehow it kind of works. One moment you’re chatting with Ciri like you’re on Telegram trying not to sound horny, next moment you’re accidentally agreeing to a threesome with Jinx and Vi and realizing you absolutely clicked through that dialogue too fast. It has this weird energy where all the girls already look at you like they’ve read your browser history and decided they’re cool with it. The world hops from Witcher-style tavern vibes to Piltover streets to some creepy tentacle dungeon that feels like somebody spent too much time on certain Doujinshi apps, but it never takes itself serious, and that’s the charm. You just bounce around, flirt, screw up, then screw, in that order or not, depending how drunk you click.

Sex scenes are the real meat here, shocker. It goes all in: vaginal, anal, oral, titfucks, toys, proper dripping creampies, soft stuff, rough stuff, and of course tentacles that show up exactly when you think “they wouldn’t actually do tentacles, right?” Ahri doing slow, teasing oral like she knows she’s the main event, Caitlyn trying to stay all proper while you rail her from behind, Katarina acting like she’s in charge right until she’s on her knees, Ciri climbing on top like this is some weird crossover mod you forgot you installed. Some scenes are straight-up group chaos, like when Jinx brings “friends” and suddenly you’re in full orgy territory, bodies everywhere, cumshots stacked on top of each other, that kind of animated loop you end up watching three times because you keep catching some new detail in the background. Animations are not perfect, sometimes a hip moves weird or a hand clips somewhere it shouldn’t, but honestly, with a dick in a mouth and a tentacle in places you’re not proud to admit you like, who’s counting pixels. The one thing that annoyed me for real is how long it sometimes takes to actually get to the next sex scene, like you’re stuck in a tease loop while the story pretends it matters. But then Ahri bites her lip, or Vi pins you to the wall, or Ciri asks if you can “go again” and suddenly you forget you were mad at all. It’s messy, horny, a bit trashy, sometimes funny on purpose, sometimes funny by accident, and feels exactly like opening three incognito tabs at once and letting them bleed into each other until it’s just you, a bunch of big tits from different universes, and zero regrets.

Ciri walking into your filthy half broken fortress, already annoyed and already hotter than your browser history, is honestly the perfect mood for this thing. You are not some noble mentor here, more like the horny landlord of Kaer Morhen trying to decide if you want a legendary monster hunter or a legendary cum dumpster, and the game just looks you in the eye and says: “make up your damn mind.” From the first training session it hits that weird mix of parody and actual Witcher nostalgia. One second you are telling her to focus on her stance and sword grip, next second you are noticing they put a lot of effort into her tits bouncing when she screws up the dodge. It’s that kind of energy. You click through what looks like a normal drill, she misses a move, you “punish” her, and the punishment is suddenly way less PG than you expected. In a good way. Or terrible way, depending how pure you lied to yourself you are.

What I liked is that it pretends to be about discipline and routine at the start. Basic fights, alchemy lessons, some spells. Ciri asking legit questions about potions and signs, trying to be serious, you answering like a half competent teacher who is also staring at her ass. Then the options creep in. Say the wrong “encouraging” line? Boom, now she thinks moaning gets her a reward. Make her drink a slightly “experimental” potion? There goes her self control, and suddenly practice swings become grinding on your leg while she tries to explain it is just to “feel the balance of the blade.” The game keeps tossing you choices that feel harmless at first and then five scenes later you realize you built a complete slut and it was absolutely your fault. Or you tried to be nice and strict and it still turned horny, because it is that kind of parody where the universe itself is perverted. Also, the little details are messed up in a fun way. The crack in the wall of her room that you barely notice then ends up in a scene. The empty training yard that somehow turns into the stage for a public “motivation” lesson. Even the money grind to fix bits of the fortress turns out to just unlock new ways to humiliate or empower her, depending which flavor of degenerate you picked that day. It really feels like a long, cursed Tinder date with destiny itself, where every “sure, why not” option bang you in the face three scenes later, and Ciri either stands on the ruins as a badass witcher or kneels in them with her mouth open, because of every tiny horny decision you pretended was “just to see what happens.”

Game feels like someone mashed up a bootleg Witcher fever dream with a horny visual novel and then forgot to polish anything, and weirdly that kinda works. You start as this exiled prince who clearly should not be in charge of a kingdom, because every decision you make is like: politics on the left, pussy on the right, and guess which one you always walk toward. The whole “return to your homeland” thing is there, but half the time I honestly forgot about the throne because I was busy watching how badly I could corrupt every girl that crossed my path. There’s this slow build where at first it pretends to be serious fantasy, talking about heirs and rivals and noble houses, and then ten minutes later you’re balls-deep in some monster girl who technically wants to kill you but also wants your seed. It shouldn’t be hot. It is.

What I really liked is how the game lets you be a sneaky little perv without actually spelling it out. You’ve got scenes where you’re clearly supposed to walk away, like “respect the privacy” and all that, and instead you just stand there and watch through a half-open door while your future concubine gets herself off thinking about you. One click turns into an entire corruption route. You promise her romance, she thinks she’s getting some fairy-tale prince, and then two scenes later you’re pinning her to the bed, hand wrapped around her throat, whispering about how she belongs in your harem and her only job is to take your cum and give you heirs. Then she actually starts talking about wanting your child, and the game doesn’t shy away from it. Thick creampie shots, her begging you not to pull out, that shaky breathing after you finish, like she knows her life just changed. It’s kind of fucked up and kind of beautiful and then kind of fucked up again.

The animated parts are the best and also the worst. Some loops are super smooth, like the way a witch rides you in this ruined chapel, her tits bouncing and your seed leaking out when she slams all the way down, and you’re like “ok nice, someone actually cared.” Then there’s another scene where your handjob reward looks like it was made in a rush between coffee breaks, her fingers clipping weirdly while you’re trying to focus on the cum shot. I’m still salty the prince walks around like he’s god’s gift, but his facial expressions in a few scenes are stiff as hell. All the “RPG” stuff is really just an excuse to send you from girl to girl, and I’m fine with that, even if sometimes the quests feel like busy work from an old mobile game. But whatever, I kept playing because that feeling when you slowly twist a pure girl into a willing broodmare, then watch her swell with your child while rivals plan to murder you in the background, hits a very specific nerve. You’re half hero, half bastard, and the game never really punishes you for choosing the darker option. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?