Gotham's rogues gallery decided to unionize, and their first collective bargaining agreement is apparently a spit roast. The whole thing feels like someone found a very specific folder on a hard drive from 2007 and decided to build a game around it. Harley's voice is all wrong, that Brooklyn squeak replaced with something that sounds like a GPS giving directions to a glory hole. Ivy's model has these dead eyes that follow you, not in a sexy way but like a taxidermy fox judging your life choices.

The threesome setup is where things get properly unhinged. Catwoman's there too, I guess, though she mostly just watches for the first half like she's waiting for a bus. The physics engine treats breasts like water balloons filled with concrete, and there's this one angle during the blowjob scene where Harley's neck does something that would kill a real person instantly. I couldn't stop clicking. The cumshot lands with all the grace of a sneeze caught on a webcam in 2005, and honestly? That's the charm. It's not trying to be pretty. It's trying to be what it is, which is a sticky keyboard and a vague sense of shame.

Poison Ivy's anal scene has this moment where the animation loops wrong and she just... vibrates. For like four seconds. It's the hottest thing in the game and it's clearly a bug. Gordon never shows up, which feels like a missed opportunity. Batman's just a silhouette in the corner, watching, which raises questions about the Batcomputer's hard drive contents. The whole thing runs in browser, no fuss, just click and regret. I wish there was more Catwoman content but I also don't care. You know exactly who this is for. If you've ever paused the animated series at a specific frame, you've already made up your mind.

The quiz about countries caught me off guard. Not in a good way. I'm sitting there, dick in hand, ready for some secret agent pussy, and suddenly I need to know the capital of Burkina Faso. What the actual fuck. My phone's on the desk with Wikipedia open, lube drying on my fingers while I'm typing "landlocked African nations" into the search bar. This is not the erotic fantasy I signed up for.

The setup is classic Meet N Fuck nonsense. Evil machine, clone army, parts hidden with hot girls around the world. You're a spy who fucks information out of targets. Standard stuff. The first girl is some big boobed brunette who wants to know about flags before she'll let you near her pussy. I failed twice because I don't know what color stripe goes where on the flag of Chad versus Romania. They're basically identical by the way. Look it up. The doggystyle animation when you finally get it right is decent, nice arch on her back, but the cumshot lands on her face like someone spilled yogurt from a height. Not exactly the explosive payoff I wanted after my geography exam.

The second encounter has better pacing. Asian chick, tight little body, actually seems into it. The questions are easier too, something about landmarks. I got through without checking my phone. The creampie finish is satisfying, proper internal shot with that little drip animation they do. But then the third girl asks about GDP rankings and I just closed the tab. I'm trying to see hentai tits bounce during anal, not calculate purchasing power parity. The sex scenes themselves are fine for a browser game, nothing groundbreaking but functional. The big boobs tag delivers, the facial and creampie options are there. It's just buried under this bizarre trivia gatekeeping that kills any rhythm you might build up. One minute you're pounding a redhead in missionary, the next you're failing a multiple choice question about the Eurozone. My boner doesn't survive that transition.

Flannery here is exactly the kind of gym leader your mom hoped you’d never meet. The game drops you into her “training session” like it’s totally normal that the hot redhead fire specialist has a giant dick hanging between her legs and zero concept of personal space. No slow burn, no fake romance, it feels more like someone skipped straight from Route 1 to Elite Four horny. You’re not wandering tall grass, you’re basically wandering her thighs. The whole thing plays like one long victory lap where the only thing that levels up is how messy the screen gets. One second she’s giving this cocky smirk, squatting down like she’s about to inspect your Poké Balls for “health reasons”, next second she’s already got her lips wrapped around a fat shaft, drool running, eyes half closed, like this is the most important gym challenge in the region. I actually had the game open in Chrome and my other tab was a spreadsheet, and for a solid minute I just watched her bob her head in the corner of my screen, like a very illegal productivity tool.

What I like a lot is how direct it is. You hit the pink arrow and suddenly you go from her teasing with just tongue and tip, to this deep, noisy blowjob that sounds like she’s trying to speedrun the whole scene. She keeps that cock so hard it looks like she’s about to try a one-hit KO with it. The cumshots are ridiculous in the best way, like someone overfilled a potion bottle and it exploded. First time I triggered the big finish, she pulled back, stroked herself twice, and the whole load blasted across her own boobs and face, then another spurt hit her hair. I was literally thinking “ok that’s the crit hit right there.” Sometimes she angles it so it lands all over her abs and drips down over that trimmed little patch above her slit, and other times she goes full-on cum dump, mouth open, tongue out, letting it pool and spill down her chin. The expressions when she gets coated are wild, kind of half proud, half dazed, like she just won the league and also forgot her own name. I wish there was a bit more build up before the first scene, but also I don’t, because the fast start is half the fun and I’m not patient anyway.

The futa twist isn’t treated like some rare legendary, more like “yeah, of course she has a thick cock, what did you expect from a fire-type queen?” and that casual attitude made it hotter. There’s this one moment where she’s jerking herself, staring right at you, with that “you’re not leaving this gym without swallowing something” look, and it hits harder than any badge ceremony. The game quietly lets you hop between scenes with those pink arrows, and it feels a bit like abusing save states: flick forward, watch her choke a little more, flick back to see that first innocent lick, then jump ahead again right as she’s getting blasted in the face. For some reason her hair stays perfect even while she’s getting absolutely drenched, which makes no sense at all and also I kinda love it. I kept trying to decide which cum angle I liked best and ended up just looping all of them in Firefox like some degenerate slideshow. There’s one tiny thing that annoys me, her hand grip on the shaft sometimes covers the spot I actually want to see and it made me click around like an idiot hoping there’s a hidden pose, but of course there isn’t and I still kept going. Anyway, if you ever thought “yeah, I’d let Flannery ruin my entire party and then blow a load on my face,” this feels like someone heard that thought and wrote it down in horny pixels.

The first thing that hits you is how cheap the whole setup feels. Not in a charming way. The menu looks like a browser game from 2012, and the sound effects are just... wrong. A wet slap that doesn't match the animation. But then you start the memory game with Mercy, and something clicks. You're not just matching cards. You're copying a sequence of her getting her tits out, then a dildo sliding in, then her mouth open. The game shows you a little loop, maybe four or five actions, and you have to click the right order. Get it wrong and she just resets, no punishment, no extra scene. Get it right and the next loop is longer, filthier.

I spent way too long on the Widowmaker anal sequence. The game doesn't tell you if you're close. You just keep clicking, trying to remember if the dildo went in before or after she turned around. And the whole time her face is blank, like she's bored. That's the weird part. The sex is explicit, sure, but the characters look like they're waiting for a bus. D.Va's oral scene is the only one with any energy, and even then it's mostly her hair bouncing.

There's a tracer tag but I never unlocked her. Maybe you need to perfect all three other girls first. Or maybe the game just forgot to include her. Wouldn't surprise me. The whole thing feels like someone took a decent idea, a memory puzzle with porn rewards, and then stopped caring halfway through. The dildo physics are janky, the moans are recycled, and the blonde hair on Mercy clips through her shoulders constantly. But I kept playing. Not because it was good. Because I wanted to see if the next scene would finally make sense. It didn't. But I finished it anyway.

Never liked Frozen much. The songs get stuck in your head like chewing gum on a hot sidewalk and that snowman thing. But this version, well. It's a flash game so ancient my browser practically wheezed loading it, some 2014 relic that somehow still works. The art is what you'd expect, that specific era of fan art where anatomy was more of a suggestion than a rule. Elsa's got these huge cartoonish proportions, waist you could snap with one hand, breasts that would break her spine in real life, all wrapped in that blue dress that's barely hanging on.

The whole premise is melting her heart, which in practice means clicking her body until things progress. Three scenes total, cycled through with those tiny buttons on the left that took me a solid minute to even notice because my eyes were elsewhere. There's an oral scene that's honestly more interesting than it has any right to be, the way the animation loops and speeds up with clicks, her blonde braid swinging. Clicking her switches the thrust pace which is a weirdly satisfying mechanic. Slow, fast, faster. The cumshot at the end is about as artistic as a receipt printer but I kept replaying the blowjob part anyway. Don't know what that says about me.

The anal scene exists. It's there. I clicked it a few times and immediately went back. Something about the positioning feels off in a way that nags at the back of your brain, a perspective failure that makes you squint instead of whatever else you're supposed to be doing. The big cock they gave the male character is absurdly proportioned even for this type of game, veiny and purple like an angry vegetable. I wish the other two scenes got the same attention as that first one but they won't, the game's been abandoned for a decade and nobody's updating a Frozen porn parody from 2014. Never is a long word but here it fits. What's left is just this janky little time capsule where you can make a Disney princess gag on a monster cock in three speeds. The internet was a different place.

The whole thing hinges on two dudes in cheap Scooby Doo mascot suits, and honestly the absurdity is doing more work than the animation. Velma's there, glasses askew, getting absolutely railed from both ends while the costumes just... stay on. Like full head, paws, the works. It's so stupid it loops back around to being kind of hot, the way a bad porno parody can be.

Mechanically it's one of those clickable scene things, you pick which hole gets filled or swap her out for a futa version mid-scene. The futa toggle is actually the best part, watching her suddenly sprout a cock while still getting her mouth used. The cumshots are messy and plentiful, which I respect. But the blowjob animation loops weird, her head bobs like she's nodding along to a song that keeps skipping. And the threesome positioning gets cramped, sometimes a leg clips through the couch and you just have to pretend you didn't see it.

Lingerie's there too, orange and purple, very on brand. The sound design is just wet noises and grunting, no voice acting, which is probably for the best because hearing Velma moan "jinkies" would have sent me to the hospital. The clickable elements are responsive enough, though I spent way too long trying to get the cumshot to land on her glasses specifically. It never did. Small complaint, but it stuck with me.

If you're into weird cartoon smut and don't mind the jank, this'll get you there. Just don't expect the Scooby gang to show up and rescue her. They never do.

Mai Shiranui getting tossed around by a gray blob monster. That's the whole mood. Like someone took a KOF sprite sheet and ran it through a fever dream, then said yeah, let's make it horny. The clay tag is no joke, everything looks like it was squished by a toddler who just discovered anatomy. Her boobs don't bounce so much as they ooze. It's kind of beautiful in a wrong way.

Fighting is basically mashing. You're this big ugly thing and she's doing her little ninja flips, and honestly I spent more time watching her lose than actually pressing buttons. The hit reactions are where the soul is. She crumples, she stumbles, her clothes get ripped in that specific hentai logic where fabric just evaporates. Then the sex scene triggers and it's just... raw. The monster pins her down, all that clay-like flesh smothering her, and the animation loops in this jerky hypnotic rhythm. No finesse, just pure id. Reminds me of those old Newgrounds flash days, before everything got so polished you forgot you were supposed to feel something dirty.

Wish there was more to do after the first win. You beat her, you fuck her, the end. No alternate poses, no second round with different timing. The sound design is basically just wet slaps and a looping moan that cuts off weirdly at the end. But I keep coming back to the visual of her defeated pose, that specific way her back arches before the monster grabs her. There's a sketch I want to do, something with charcoal, really capture that moment of impact. The game is broken and ugly and I've played it like five times. Make it make sense.

The animation loop is basically a single pov shot, Samus on her knees, those huge tits wrapped around a cock that’s supposed to be yours. It’s not a game game, more like a fidget toy for your dick. You pick an outfit, the zero suit or the classic blue, or just go fully nude, and then you control the cumshot. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. The customization for the money shot is weirdly granular, you can drag a slider to make the ropes comically long, like physics defying anime goo, and pick where it lands. I spent an embarrassing amount of time just seeing if I could paint her entire visor white. You can.

The model for Samus is... fine. It’s unpolished in that specific Source Filmmaker way, where the skin looks a bit like shiny plastic and the hair doesn’t move right. Her expression is locked in this permanent, vacant stare that doesn’t change, which is a little off putting if you look at it too long. But the animation of the boobjob itself is smooth, a steady rhythmic motion that loops cleanly. The sound is just a wet, repetitive squelch. No voice acting, no moans, just that sound on a loop. It gets hypnotic after a minute, or maybe that’s just the blood leaving your brain.

I wish there was a button to change the pace, or maybe a different angle. Just one. Staring at the exact same frame for the whole session feels like a missed opportunity, especially for a character who’s all about scanning visors and morph balls. Where’s the creativity? You’re telling me a Chozo powered suit and the best we can do is a static camera? But I guess that’s not the point. The point is the slider that lets you absolutely drench her. It’s a one handed experience, perfect for a quick alt tab session when you’re supposed to be doing something else. Just don’t expect a deep exploration of the Metroid lore.

The unlock path for the first robot is just punch punch punch, then it falls over and you get a little flash of static. I kept pressing A and J at the same time because I thought maybe there was a combo, but no, it's just one button for punch. The school uniform physics are there, the skirt flips up when you kick, and the robots have these weird tube arms that grab at your chest if you stand still too long. I spent way too long on the second screen trying to figure out if the X button did anything besides the obvious. It does. It's a stamina drain and the robots keep walking toward you while you're doing it, which is either funny or annoying depending on how many times you've died.

The arcade feel is real. You move left to right, there's a score counter in the corner that I still don't understand, and every third robot has a different color scheme like a palette swap from an old fighting game. The kick has more range than the punch but leaves you open, so you end up spamming punch and then backing off. One robot grabbed me from behind and the animation looped for like four seconds before I could break free. That was the first time I actually laughed at the game instead of just clicking through.

The preview ends after three screens and a boss that's just a bigger robot with more health. No save, no continue, you just restart from the beginning. The masturbation button feels tacked on, like they forgot this was supposed to be an adult game and added it last minute. The robots don't react to it, they just keep walking. I wish the full version would add a block or a dodge, because right now the only defense is walking backwards and hoping the robot's grab animation doesn't trigger. The hentai tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting for what's basically a Shinobi Girl clone with worse hit detection. I'll probably check the full version when it drops, but only because I want to see if the robots ever get more creative than "walk forward and grab."