Christmas comes early in this weird little horny card circus, and it arrives in the shape of a busted casino table covered in nut-stained decks and smug clowns. Imagine taking one of those mobile duel games where you keep drawing shiny cards, smashing them together, thinking about “strategy” like it is chess, then someone grabs your wrist, shoves your dick between pixel tits and says, “yeah yeah good tactics, now cum on the queen.” That is kind of the feeling here. It is like someone asked, “what if we took a serious deck builder and then completely ruined it with horny jokes, harem chaos, and clown faces that stare right into your soul when you misplay.” And somehow it works. Or maybe it doesn’t. I’m not even sure, but my browser history is not proud of me. You build up a deck, you try to make a nice combo, and in the middle of counting multipliers you suddenly care way more about which girl is going to squeeze your cock between her tits if you win the next round. Strategy meets horny brain rot and horny brain obviously wins.

The harem setup sneaks up on you a bit. At first it is just a couple girls teasing you, those 2D drawings with that cheap-but-hot style, like early Newgrounds had a baby with an old hentai flash site. Then you unlock another one, and she has a different “reward” for when you nail the round perfectly. One is all about titfucks, really leaning into that “let me hold your shaft between my boobs while you try to focus on the next hand” vibe. Another is way more into oral, with these long looping scenes where she drags her tongue up and down like she has all the time in the world and you are supposed to somehow play a smart turn while watching that. Penetration shows up too, standard pussy stuff, but laid over the card game in this almost stupid way that somehow becomes charming. You clear a wave, she rides you. You survive a bad draw, she spreads for you. Lose a big round? Back to the menu, dick sad, brain angry, hand still on the mouse like “one more run, I can fix this.” Sometimes the parody of serious card games hits hard, like seeing a big scary boss that is basically just a joker with cum jokes written all over his skills, and sometimes the humor falls flat, but the game does not really care. It keeps throwing new jokers, new card perks, more reasons to edge instead of think.

The jokers are the real degenerates here. They behave like those wild cards that mess with the whole run, except every one of them looks like the kind of clown that would fuck your harem behind your back, then pretend it is a buff and not a debuff. Some of them boost your scores, some twist your strategy into something completely different, and a few feel almost useless, yet you still pick them “just to see” because they have a filthy little effect tied to a sex scene you have not triggered yet. That is where the replay thing creeps in. Not because the game is super deep, even though some of the strategy moments are surprisingly tight, but because your horny brain keeps saying, “what happens if I stack this joker with that girl and stall one more round before cumming.” That one turn where I saved a losing run by risking a terrible hand, only to be “rewarded” with a long, slow titfuck animation while a smug joker card sat in the corner of the screen like it was judging me, is burned into my memory for no good reason. I still hate that the sound effects on one of the blowjob scenes is slightly out of sync with the animation and it distracts me every single time, and they will absolutely never fix it, but whatever. This whole thing feels like a dirty holiday party where the lights are too bright, the music is a bit off, everyone is half naked, and you keep telling yourself you will leave after one last round, then you draw another hand and forget what you were about to do.

RuleUniverse feels like someone mashed Dragon Ball fanfiction, horny Twitter art and a half-finished Ren’Py project, then accidentally made it kind of addictive. You start as this lonely overachiever kid that reads like every shonen protagonist in history, then a demon scientist pops up and says, “hey, let’s stuff your body with DNA from the strongest fighters in the universe, what could go wrong.” It’s delightfully stupid in that fanfic way, but precisely because of that, it works. The game knows it’s a parody, it doesn’t try to pretend it’s “deep”, and then it suddenly throws in a line about destiny or guiding the universe and you’re like… alright, Toriyama-with-horny-mods, calm down.

The real fun is how transparently it worships its women. Bulma, Chi-Chi, Android 18, that whole legendary boob-and-ass pantheon is here, clearly shaped by someone who grew up pausing VHS at the worst places. The models are 3D and exaggerated as hell: huge tits, fat asses, those shiny anime lips that just scream “she’s going to suck him off in like two clicks.” Animated scenes actually move, not just two stiff characters rubbing like broken Sims; you get thrusting, jiggling, drool, that soft spit string when you pull out from a blowjob, all the little pervy details that tell you the dev really wanted this for themselves first. One moment you’re doing basic combat with ki blasts and energy auras, the next you’re balls-deep in Bulma in a lab, with wires and science junk in the background like that somehow makes it ethical. And the combat’s funny: it pretends to be serious, but all you’re thinking is “okay, how many fights until I unlock the next sex scene with Android 18.” Sometimes the sandbox part feels less like a “world” and more like a small playground with a fence around it, but the loops of walking around, clicking, triggering small events, slowly unlocking more lewd stuff… it scratched that same spot as old flash games I used to sneak at school on shitty browsers.

I kinda love how messy it is. The romance tries to act sentimental for a second, then five lines later you’re face-fucking a milf with magic powers while she moans like someone recorded it in a bathroom on a cheap mic. Dialog swings from “I will guide the universe” to “fuck me harder” without the slightest shame. Exploration is simple, a little repetitive, but I still kept wandering, poking every corner hoping there’s a hidden event where Chi-Chi finally snaps and rides the protagonist like he’s the last Saiyan on earth. Some text sounds like it was written at midnight by a dude half-remembering DBZ arcs from YouTube AMVs, which, honestly, is the right energy. I do wish the world reacted more to what you do, like if you bang Bulma enough, Vegeta starts showing up mad or something, but I know that kind of feature is exactly the thing that stays in the dev’s “maybe later” notes forever. Still, when you’re watching Android 18 slowly drop to her knees after you save her in a fight and she rewards you with this sloppy, animated blowjob, with her tits barely contained and that quiet smug smile when she swallows, it hits the trashy, horny, teen-power-fantasy nerve in a very specific way. It’s not elegant. It’s not smart. It’s like a wet doujin turned half-game, half-daydream, and somehow that’s exactly why it sticks.

Game looks like something a horny Unreal dev threw together on a long weekend, then accidentally made way more fun than planned. You start by offering a room to this cute friend who kinda has that “good girl but also definitely not” vibe, and from there it slowly turns into a corruption factory with boobs. It calls itself light management and yeah, it is, but it’s that sneaky kind where you think you’re just clicking through some events, and suddenly you’re min-maxing her libido, shame and obedience like it’s endgame raid content. The story drags you forward on rails, but the random events and choices are where the filth lives. One moment you’re giving her pocket money and pretending to be a nice guy, next moment you’re deciding if you use a little mind control nudge to make her forget she ever said no to showering with the door closed. It starts very tame: casual teasing, accidental boob bumps, “oops I walked in while she’s masturbating” kind of stuff. Then it shifts into groping during “massage,” handjobs while she pretends it’s just helping you relax, and that slow, evil slide into sleep sex where you stand there thinking, ok, this is fucked up, and then you click “continue” anyway.

What really works is how the superpowers are handled. They’re not big flashy nonsense, more like subtle mental edits. You dial her inhibitions down one notch at a time and watch it reflect in later scenes. Like you tell her it’s normal to walk around in just a shirt, and a few events later she’s doing it without even mentioning it, boobs bouncing while she leans over your bed to wake you up. Then you push her thing for public exposure and suddenly there’s this scene in a crowded place where you “help” her pick outfits that are not clothes, they’re basically excuses for her tits to greet society. It feels less like playing a hero and more like being a pervy system admin of her brain. Oral scenes are nice too, you can feel the progression from hesitant “I’ve never done this before” blowjob to sloppy, enthusiastic cock worship on the couch while some normal TV show is running in the background. And because the game is built around that trainer style loop, you keep getting these little variations: she jerks you off in the bathroom because she’s afraid someone might hear her sucking you, or she’s on her knees under the table, your choice if she chokes or takes it slow. There’s a harem angle starting up too, like you see the hooks: more girls dropping in, more stats to manage, more minds to bend. Management side is simple but sticky, just enough to make you plan which perversion to level first instead of brute forcing everything. Only thing that annoyed me was one specific repeat animation that pops up in different scenes with only slight changes, and now I see it in my sleep. Still clicked through it every time, so I guess the game won.

Moonlight throws you into this dirty, glossy future where everyone pretends they’re happy because their brain is on a leash. Neural implants drip little shots of pleasure in your head while an app rents out your meat-suit to whatever corpo wants a warm body. It sounds ridiculous but it feels… too close. You’re this burnt-out detective with more regrets than friends, poking around a death that smells like murder but is written up as “unfortunate malfunction”. Classic. Except here the corpse has an implant history that doesn’t add up, a porn subscription tied to a dead identity, and an ex who cries like she’s rehearsed but still clutches his jacket like a real widow. The game keeps you in that sweet spot where you’re never sure if people are lying or if the tech is lying for them. Also there is so much teasing it’s almost rude. One moment you’re going through encrypted chat logs, next moment a milf corporate handler is leaning over your shoulder, blouse half open, casually asking whether you’ve ever tried orgasm lock with a neural override. The flirting keeps cutting through the bleakness in a way that feels very queer to me, like everyone is using horniness as armor. I relate too much probably.

Sex scenes don’t come flying at you every two clicks, they crawl up slowly, like bad decisions at a bar. You talk, you joke, you push someone too hard in an interrogation, they push back, things snap. I had one scene where I was questioning this older lab tech, soft belly, tired eyes, very “I have seen some shit”. We start arguing about consent when your body is on remote control, and suddenly she’s grabbing the collar of your coat, pressing you against a sterile glass wall, telling you she wants to feel a real tongue, not a programmed rhythm. The game lets you decide if you go down on her right there among the humming machines while security cameras pretend to sleep, or if you pull away and keep playing the noble asshole. The animation sells it in a very unpolished way; sometimes the lips clip a bit or the angles look too porn-hub, but honestly it kind of fits. It feels like underground smut recorded in a shitty rented apartment, not some corpo-funded sex sim. There’s blood too, real rough stuff. One route turned into a total mess when the guy I was tailing got his implant fried right in front of me, smoke out of his nose, body twitching on the ground while my character is still half hard from a blowjob in the alley five minutes before. It’s uncomfortable and hot and confusing, and the writing never stops to hold your hand and tell you how to feel. Queer vibe shows up more in the edges than in labels: guys checking you out in clubs, women in sharp suits who don’t care what’s in your pants as long as you can keep up, trauma and desire tangled together. Some romance paths clearly want you to think they’re soft and wholesome, then they will turn around and ask you to choke them while they’re jacked into a virtual beach. And I swear the text messages you get on your in-game phone remind me of my ex who used to sext from the metro, like there is this messy, non-perfect English in some lines that actually hits very close to home for me as a non native speaker. Nothing feels translated for a straight American audience, just tossed at you to deal with. It’s horny, fucked up, a bit clunky, and somehow that makes it more honest.