Therapist mode, because someone has to unpack why a guy who can’t keep it in his pants is actually the most emotionally available man in the zip code. My New Memories: The Beginning is a prequel, which already tells you the devs know their audience is in it for the long haul, not a quick fap. This is the origin story of a husband and father, which sounds wholesome until you realize the path to that white picket fence is paved with thighjobs from every woman with a pulse.

The MC is a virgin, a blank slate, and the game treats that not as a joke but as a narrative device. Watching him fumble through first encounters, the awkward handjobs that feel more real than they should, the way a creampie scene lands differently when you’ve read forty minutes of dialogue about his childhood. It’s a dating sim where the “dating” part isn’t a formality. The harem assembles slowly, each MILF and big titted neighbor a full character before she’s a hole. The 3DCG animation is stiff in that specific Ren’Py way, characters moving like they’re underwater, but the faces, the expressions during vaginal sex scenes, they get something right that polished AAA games miss. Vulnerability.

And then the game just. It expects you to read. A lot. The description warns you, but you don’t believe it until you’re on your third cup of coffee and no one’s even taken their top off yet. The lewds are earned, which is great for the story and terrible for the part of your brain that opened this at 1 PM on a Tuesday. The thighjob scene with, god, I forget her name, the one with the perpetually concerned eyebrows, it’s framed like a goddamn renaissance painting if the painter was really into the way flesh dimples under pressure. The romance is the point. The creampies are just punctuation.

I respect the commitment to making every character lewdable eventually. It’s a promise, a threat, a roadmap. You meet someone and think, “Her? Really?” and the game nods slowly. The male protagonist’s journey from fumbling virgin to caring patriarch is the whole game, and it works because the sex scenes are never just sex scenes. They’re conversations. Messy, animated, occasionally clipping through the bed conversations. The harem dynamic never feels gross because the writing earnes it, which is a sentence I never thought I’d type about a game with this many tit physics sliders.

Ok so this game is basically what if a bara wet dream got mashed together with a high school anime and nobody bothered to polish the edges. The Guardian Angel, this ridiculously huge muscle god who's supposed to protect humanity, just shows up at Greatbay Academy like it's normal enrollment day. The whole setup is so stupid I love it.

First pull in the options menu I'm turning off that "Hide Sensitive Subjects" toggle because why would I even be here. The grossdom stuff hits immediately, like zero buildup. One scene the angel dude just grows, and grows, and the perspective shifts and suddenly you're looking up at these sweaty pecs that fill the whole screen while the dialogue is like "oh no I'm so small and pathetic." The writing is pure cheese, reads like someone's very specific fantasy they typed one-handed at 3AM, but honestly that's the charm. The art has that rough indie bara style where anatomy goes out the window when it needs to, muscles bulging in ways that don't make sense but who cares.

The macrophilia content is front and center. Characters literally get the power to grow to "exceptional sizes" and the game does not hold back showing you what that means. There's a scene in the gymnasium that just... I mean the floor cracks and the sound design is this crunchy mess but the visual of this giant foot coming down while the tiny POV character panics? That's the good stuff. Game crashed once during a particularly intense growth sequence, lost my progress, had to skip through text I'd already read. The skip function is slow as hell too, like it's teasing you.

Wish there was more actual gameplay beyond clicking through text. It's barely a visual novel, more like an illustrated story with choices that don't really branch much. But I keep coming back to certain scenes, you know the ones. The angel's introduction where he accidentally outgrows the classroom, desks splintering around his expanding thighs, that image is burned into my brain. For a short indie eroge it delivers exactly what the tags promise, just don't expect anything smooth or polished. The jank is part of the experience.

The clue system in this one is basically a delivery mechanism for ass shots and I respect that. You click around, find a lead, and suddenly there's a new girl with a nice rear end waiting to give you information. Inspector J is the brunette detective type, real model photos, and she's got that look like she knows you're not really here for the case. The blonde shows up later and honestly I forgot her name already but her scenes are the reason to keep clicking.

The videoquest format means you're watching short clips between dialogue choices. Some of the acting is... well, it's exactly what you'd expect from an adult game using real models. The brunette tries to stay in character during the erotic scenes but you can see her almost laugh once. That moment actually made it hotter for me, weirdly. Like she's a real person pretending to be a detective who's about to get railed for information.

Wish the story had more actual detective work. You never really solve anything, just move from one girl to the next. But then again, Inspector Gadget was never about the plot either, so maybe that's the point. The blonde's scene near the end has this weird lighting that makes everything look like a bad 90s porno, which again, not complaining.

Don't expect any gameplay beyond clicking and watching. The erotic content is explicit enough, full nudity, penetration, the works. Just don't go in thinking you're getting some deep narrative. It's a fap game with a detective skin and honestly that's fine. The models are attractive, the scenes are long enough to get the job done, and the whole thing runs in browser so no hassle.

The touch controls for this episode are a goddamn war crime. You're supposed to be a detective, right? Some big shot investigator in episode 6 of Cake's VIP series, trying to crack a case involving a shady mayor. But the actual gameplay is just poking a video of a busty secretary until she takes her clothes off. It's a strip investigation, I guess. The "tortue" tag is accurate because my thumb started cramping from the weird, unpolished drag mechanics. You have to find these tiny, invisible hotspots on her blouse while she just stares at you with this looped, dead eyed expression. It's like trying to unlock a phone with greasy fingers.

The whole thing runs on real human video, which is the only reason anyone clicks. The model they got for the secretary is genuinely stacked, the kind of ridiculous proportions that make you forget about the plot about the mayor being involved. There's this one moment where you finally get the bra to unhook and the physics are just... wrong. Like two cats fighting in a sack. I couldn't stop laughing, which is probably not the intended reaction for an xxx game. But then she leans forward and the angle changes and suddenly I'm not laughing anymore. The low bitrate video gives it this sleazy, found footage vibe that actually makes it hotter than those sterile, over produced 3D renders. It feels like a leaked clip from a corrupt politician's office, which I think is the point.

The "cake" tag is no joke. I spent way too long fixated on a minor detail, a mole on her left cheek that kept pixelating in and out of existence depending on how the light hit the compression artifacts. The game forgets it's supposed to be a mystery halfway through. You just keep poking and she keeps stripping and the dialogue about the investigation is this muffled, badly dubbed nonsense. Top moment to screenshot? Definitely the split second where the vip detective logic completely breaks and she goes from talking about city hall permits to a full nude scene with zero transition. My brain short circuited. The game is a broken mess but I couldn't look away from the car crash of it all.

Aiko's apartment number is 204. I know this because I spent twenty minutes staring at her door before she opened it, wearing that little smirk. The game doesn't let you knock. You just stand there like a creep until she decides to let you in. And when she does, the first thing you notice is how the 3D models have this weird plastic sheen, like everyone's been dipped in oil. The animations are stiff. The voice acting is... well, there isn't any. Just text boxes and these looping moans that sound like they were recorded in a bathroom.

But.

The first time she calls you a good boy and makes you lick her feet, something clicks. Not in a polished, well designed way. More like finding a dirty magazine in the bushes. It's wrong but it's right there. The corruption path isn't hidden behind complex choices. You just keep saying yes. Yes to the collar. Yes to her friend joining. Yes to the cage. The male protagonist, this shy twenty year old virgin, melts into whatever she wants. Sissification happens gradually. One scene you're nervously confessing your crush, three scenes later you're in lingerie while she laughs with another man. The cheating tag says avoidable but honestly, you'd have to actively fight the current to miss it.

I wish the BDSM scenes had more buildup. Sometimes it jumps from handjob to full slave training in one dialogue choice. No warmup. Just whiplash. The group sex scenes are technically there but the camera angles are fighting for their life. And the creampie visuals? Let's just say the texture artist had a rough day. Still, there's this one moment where Aiko uses a toy on you while whispering about how you'll never be a real man again. The writing in that scene is actually good. Then the next scene she clips through the bed and I remembered I'm playing something held together with hope and duct tape. The romance path exists but feels like an afterthought. Like the developer remembered some people might want love instead of humiliation and quickly stapled it on. The teasing and female domination are the real core here. Everything else is just set dressing for Aiko's slow, deliberate destruction of your dignity.

Agency on the brink, rent probably unpaid for two months, and you’re stuck watching this dumb little couple trying to save their dream job while their moral compass gets slowly fucked sideways. That’s basically the vibe here. It pretends to be about “cases” and “justice” and all that detective crap, but half the fun is just poking at how far you can push the guy and his girl before something snaps and someone ends up on their knees for the wrong boss. In a good way. Or bad. Depends how cold your heart is.

You start with this idealistic dude who clearly grew up binging crime shows on Netflix, finally got his own tiny agency going, and is way too proud of being the guy who helps the innocent and all that heroic stuff. His girlfriend is the classic “strong sense of justice” girl that absolutely would call you out on watching porn on your second monitor, but then secretly fantasize about being pinned to the desk in that same office. They feel like that couple that shares a Google Calendar and still fucks on the couch anyway. Money goes to shit, of course, and they basically get swallowed by this giant rival agency with a smug celebrity owner who talks like every line should be in a podcast ad. The first time you see him alone with the heroine in his office, it already feels like cheating even if nobody touches anyone yet. Keyboard on the desk, closed blinds, soft light on her legs. You know where your brain goes.

The cool part is how the “investigation” and corruption stuff bleed into the sex. It’s not just “click here for blowjob scene.” You get cases where you interrogate people, follow clues, read between the lines… and then that same skill set twists into you spotting how your own girl starts avoiding eye contact when you ask what happened during her “private meeting” with the boss. Or when the new assistant with dead shark eyes “kindly” suggests you let your girlfriend handle certain clients alone. There’s this one moment where you play as the heroine, and you’re in a car with a dangerous witness, tension thick as hell, talking about evidence… and the way she touches his arm while trying to get him to talk, you realize you can lean into that, use her body as a tool. I went with the “just a bit of flirting” option, and it still felt dirty, because the next scene back at the office, the boyfriend hugs her like nothing changed and she smiles like everything did. The 3D models help a lot here, because the body language sells it: subtle lip bite, knees too close, her pressing her thighs together after some risky conversation. Later, when she’s kneeling in front of someone that is definitely not her boyfriend and taking him into her mouth because “it’s part of the deal,” it doesn’t feel random. It feels like watching a line you pretended wasn’t there get crossed, twice. Vaginal scenes hit harder when you know exactly which promise got broken for that to happen. It’s a romance story that keeps shoving you toward betrayal and then asking if you really regret it while you’re watching her ride a man she’s supposed to hate, moaning his name like she’s trying to convince herself it’s still work. And of course I wish there was a simple clean route that stayed perfectly pure, but there won’t be, and honestly, that’s kind of the point.

The whole thing runs in my browser, which is convenient I guess, but it looks like it was coded during a lunch break in 2006. Jessie Jazz is there, blonde and ready, with this weird fixed grin that doesn't change whether she's winning or losing. The cards snap into place with a sound effect I can only describe as a mouse getting stepped on. You play jacks or better, standard stuff, and every time you win a hand she takes something off. First the shoes, which, okay, not exactly what I was hoping for.

I got stuck for like ten minutes on one hand because I couldn't remember if a flush beats a full house. Had to alt-tab to Google and everything. Meanwhile Jessie just stands there, blinking occasionally, her pixelated tits defying gravity in a way that makes me think the developer never actually saw real ones. The strip poker mechanic is straightforward enough, beat her and she loses clothes, lose and nothing happens except your dignity takes a hit. She starts in this tight dress and by the end she's completely naked, doing this awkward shuffle animation that's supposed to be sexy but reminds me more of someone trying to get out of a wet swimsuit.

The thing that got me was her face. That expression never changes. Even when she's down to nothing, same vacant smile like she's thinking about what to have for dinner. It's almost creepy. Almost. But then you win another hand and her bra comes off and suddenly I'm not thinking about her facial expressions anymore. The game knows what it is. It's not pretending to be some deep narrative experience. It's Jessie Jazz, she's hot in that early-2000s porn way, and she's going to lose at poker because the AI is about as sharp as a spoon. I don't know why I kept playing after the first win. Maybe I wanted to see if the animation would ever change. It doesn't. But I finished anyway.

Angela's ass is the real protagonist here, let's be honest. The whole setup is your typical office thirst trap with a redhead secretary who knows exactly what she's doing when she bends over the filing cabinet. Gerry's supposed to be the one doing the seducing but honestly my man is just along for the ride. The renders have that charming jank to them, like someone's first Blender project that accidentally became a fetish pipeline. Her skin sometimes looks like plastic wrap and the lighting makes the whole office feel like a dentist's waiting room, but fuck it, that's part of the nostalgia. Remember when 3D porn games were just... earnest? No 4K textures, no ray tracing, just polygons and pure intention.

The dialogue is stilted as hell and the choices basically boil down to "do the horny thing" or "do the slightly less horny thing first." But there's a walkthrough linked in the description which tells you everything about how thin the branching actually is. The other office girls don't really react much, maybe a raised eyebrow here and there. If anything they're just... there. Background furniture with tits. I kept waiting for some drama or jealousy subplot but nada. Just Gerry and Angela circling each other like two horny coworkers who've never heard of HR.

Modders haven't touched this one much which is a shame. The base game is so bare bones that a texture pack or custom angles would do wonders. The community over on the usual forums mostly just posts screenshots of the good scenes, which is fair. For maximum enjoyment, go in with zero expectations about story and just treat it like a visual novel where the visuals occasionally deliver exactly what you clicked for. Dare to play it alone? Buddy, that's the only way to play it.

The menus look like they were designed by someone who just discovered PowerPoint transitions. Jagged fonts, buttons that lag half a second before registering, a color scheme that reminds me of those weird YouTube thumbnails where everything is oversaturated. I spent five minutes on the character creator alone because the slider for jaw width kept snapping back to default. Why? No clue. But the women, when they finally load in, have this uncanny valley thing going on that somehow works. Their mouths move a beat too late. AI generated video, obviously, and nobody bothered to polish the sync. It's jarring in a way that makes you pay closer attention.

You're some dude in Queens with a dry spell and a phone that won't stop buzzing. Three matches, all at once. Aaliyah, the artist with ink crawling up her neck, texts like she's already bored of you. Maya, something corporate, sends voice messages that clip out mid sentence because the game can't buffer fast enough. And there's a third one whose name I already forgot, which says more about the writing than me. The first date with Aaliyah is at a bar where the background noise is just the same three second loop of glasses clinking. You pick dialogue options that range from awkward to borderline harassment, and her reactions are stilted, like she's reading off cue cards. I picked the worst possible line, something about her tattoos looking like a roadmap, and she laughed. Actually laughed. The video stuttered right at the laugh, which made it feel almost genuine.

By the third date things get explicit. Softcore, they call it. More like two mannequins rubbing against each other while someone waves a bedsheet in front of a ring light. The moaning track doesn't loop cleanly. There's a skip. And during the scene with Maya, her hand clips through my character's shoulder for a solid ten seconds before resetting. Nobody fixed it. They probably never will. The level up system for intimacy is buried in some corner of the UI that looks like an afterthought. Hearts fill up. Whatever. The real game is trying to figure out which of these glitchy messes you can tolerate long enough to see the finale. I kept going back to Aaliyah even though her apartment set looks suspiciously like the bar from date one with different lighting. Maybe that's the point.