Rob & Suzanne’s little “holiday in the north” feels like someone crashed a spy thriller into a swinger chatroom and forgot to clean up the mess, in a good way and sometimes not. One minute you’re sitting in some classy club lounge pretending to care about cocktails, the next you’re watching Suzanne lean over a pool table, skirt riding up, ass just begging for someone’s hand, while Rob is supposed to be keeping an eye on some shady arms dealer type and definitely not staring at the giant tits of the hostess. The whole MI5 angle is treated like this annoying side quest half the time. You’re there to gather intel, check who is sleeping with who, and maybe catch a gun supplier. Instead, you spend ten minutes deciding if Suzanne should take that smug black guy from the bar to the private room or warm up first with that blonde wife who keeps “accidentally” touching her thigh. And it actually matters, because relationships shift, people remember, and suddenly a choice you made in a sauna with way too much steam becomes important in a later interrogation scene where the same guy is naked again, but now you’re trying to squeeze information out of him with your mouth. Literally.

The nicest part is how the couple actually acts like a couple most of the time. They tease each other, talk through who they want to fuck, who they just want to watch, who they’re using for the mission and who they’re kinda secretly into. There’s this scene at the club where they’re on a couch, Suzanne’s half-naked between another woman’s legs, tongue busy, while Rob is on his knees eating out that woman’s husband’s wife from behind, and they still make eye contact like “you good?” It’s hot, and also stupidly sweet, then the game will yank you into a quiet hallway where some handler is grilling you about progress, while you’re still metaphorically dripping from the last anal scene. Pacing is weird like that: like having a perfect burger and then someone throws a bowl of plain salad in your face. Not bad, just… why here, right now. Sex-wise, it covers a lot without feeling like a checklist. You get lazy oral with Suzanne kneeling on the carpet, drool on her chin while she looks up at some stranger who Rob just nodded “yeah, go on” to. You get Rob getting his cock stroked and ignored at the same time during a full-on lesbian session where the girls basically use him as a prop, his hand on a big ass just for show. There’s groping in crowded corridors, some nice slow vaginal scenes where the focus is on how the couple shares a partner instead of cheating, and then you get smacked with rougher anal in a private room, with Suzanne clinging to the sofa and moaning like she forgot it’s technically a job. I still hate how one specific character always types on a tablet like they’re using fucking Google Sheets during a blowjob, it breaks everything, but whatever, the rest of the club drama and all the interracial, swinging, teasing chaos more than fills the gaps.