Vacation porn game brain-rot really hits different when you’re trying to sneak a quick fap between putting laundry in the dryer and yelling at a kid to please stop sticking LEGO in the fan. This thing drops you in a fancy Hawaii hotel where everyone is way too hot, way too horny, and somehow no one is screaming about school lunches. You make your own girl at the start, and I spent way too long swapping hairstyles and bikinis instead of actually getting railed. It feels a bit like scrolling Instagram filters while secretly thinking “yeah, I’d let that guy choke me a little.” You pick hair, outfits, vibe, and then suddenly you’re that girl who actually went on vacation instead of just saving travel TikToks she’ll never use. The hotel itself is like a horny labyrinth. Lobby, pool, bar, balcony, little side walks near the beach, and it’s all just excuses to bump into one of the love interests and pretend you’re here for “romance” when you’re really waiting to see who’s gonna pin you to the bed first.
Each route starts all sweet and “oh, aloha, welcome to the resort” and very quickly turns into “okay, who’s on top and who’s begging.” There’s a soft one who looks like he’d write you poems, except the moment you give him a little green light he’s grabbing your wrists and telling you how good girls behave. Another one has that smug vibe, like a guy who knows exactly how wet he’s making you just by leaning a bit closer than normal while he “teaches” you something pointless. Little teasing lines like “You’re blushing. Are you thinking about what I could do to you later?” and I’m just here trying to tap choices with a thumb that still has dish soap on it. It sells that slow burn pretty well: lingering eye contact at the bar, accidental thigh touch at dinner, your character’s inner thoughts getting dirtier with every scene. Then it flips and she’s the one taking control, pushing him back on the bed, riding his face like she owns the suite. Halfway through one scene at the balcony I actually forgot the potatoes in the oven, because I really needed to see if she was going to make him beg or if he’d snap and pin her against the rail. She makes him wait. Makes you wait too. Edge city. Honestly hot as hell.
What I liked is how your choices don’t just give “good ending / bad ending” stuff. You lean into being a brat, you get different lines, different positions, different ways they talk to you. Say the wrong thing and the guy you thought would be a total dom suddenly gets shy and you end up on top, guiding his hands, teaching him how you want your pussy touched. Say the bold thing and the mood changes: voice drops, he moves closer, hand on your neck, asking if you really thought you could tease him and walk away. There’s one route where your girl starts all sweet and respectful, then bit by bit realizes she likes holding the power. She’s the one telling him when he’s allowed to come, whispering in his ear, making him stay hard while she grinds and pulls his hair. I wish the text box wasn’t so damn tiny, I keep scrolling back like an idiot because my thumb presses the wrong choice, and it annoys me every single time. Still kept playing. The romantic parts hit, then they throw in dirty talk that’d make a nun drop her rosary, then go back to kissing in the rain like it’s a drama show. Some endings are all cuddly and stars in the sky, others have you getting fucked raw on hotel sheets with your legs shaking and him telling you exactly how many times you already came. And in between all that, I’m just pausing to check if the kids are still on YouTube and not behind me reading over my shoulder. This game is way too horny for the amount of towels I’m folding.