My kid asked me about this one. A space thing with women and some punk who gets punched so hard he sees the future. I sat there looking at the screen like, what the hell is this supposed to teach anyone. The teacher decks him, right, and suddenly he's on a ship to Andromeda with a crew of women who all have, let's say, very specific body proportions. The kind where you wonder if they have back problems in the year 2990.

The dating sim part is straightforward enough, pick dialogue, watch scenes unlock. What got me was how mechanical the whole thing feels despite trying to be sexy. You click through conversations and then suddenly there's a handjob scene rendered in that slightly plastic looking 3D style where skin has this weird waxy sheen. The animations loop. They always loop. After the third creampie scene I started noticing how the characters' faces barely change expression, just this blank stare while things are happening. The big ass physics are there I guess, if that's what you're after. One of the crew members has proportions that would make actual physics professors cry.

The harem aspect means you're not really choosing, you're just collecting. Each woman falls into a type, the sassy one, the mysterious one, the one with the biggest tits. There's no real tension. You know how in some games the chase is the point? Here the chase is about four clicks long. The sci-fi setting is mostly wallpaper, some glowing panels and talk of alien civilizations that never actually show up because everyone's too busy in the captain's quarters.

I wish the future visions actually mattered more. They set up this whole glitch in reality premise and then it's just an excuse to get you on the ship. Feels like a wasted idea. My son says it's just a game but I don't know. Something about the dead eyed women and the loop of vaginal sex scenes that all look the same. Maybe I'm just old. The therapist in me wonders what kind of connection the protagonist is actually looking for, getting punched into enlightenment and immediately filling a spaceship with compliant women. Not my idea of a legacy.