The first time I tried to Henshin my armor just sort of... fizzled. Like a party popper full of shame. Then this busty alien with three tits (two visible, one implied by the AI's weird hallucination on her ribcage) laughed at me and I knew this wasn't some polished kinetic novel. This is Orgivan. Cosmic sheriff. Deliberate retro trash. The AI CG is wild, man. Sometimes you get a goddess with thighs that could crush a small moon, rendered in this hyper glossy 3D that looks like a PS2 cutscene dipped in vaseline. Other times her hand melts into her own asscheek and you just gotta roll with it because that's the aesthetic. The groping scenes are everywhere. You're in a sandbox with a map and actual cities and I spent twenty minutes just clicking on a spaceport bartender's tits watching them jiggle with this weird, floaty physics delay. It's like the game is constantly asking "you horny or just curious about how broken this gets?" and the answer is always both.

The male protagonist, that's you, has this permanent half metal erection for justice. Literal. The writing by Lord Buttish is absurd. One minute you're getting a philosophical speech about karma from a synthetic nun with tits like overinflated beach balls, the next you're getting a sloppy oral scene from an enemy commander you just defeated. The vaginal sex scenes are animated in this choppy, almost stop motion way that somehow makes it hotter. Like a flipbook found in a VHS player that's been frying since 1989. There's multiple endings and the karma system actually remembers if you were a dick or not, which is wild for a game where you can just free roam and tease every NPC until they're wet. I wish the battle system had more depth but it won't. You just kind of mash and then sex happens.

I forgot to mention the big ass representation. It's significant. One character, I think her name was Zorblax or something, she's got an ass that the AI rendered with its own gravitational pull. The teasing mechanic where you can just... hover your half metal hand over zones and watch them squirm is chef's kiss. It's like a first date where she shows up in cosplay and won't stop quoting old tokusatsu shows. By the long term relationship phase you've accepted that sometimes her eyes will render on her forehead and you'll still want to see what happens when you select the "investigate with rigid sword" option. My neighbor's dog started barking during a particularly loud transformation sequence and I didn't even mute it. That's staying power.