Right so the whole thing is a mess, a beautiful, janky mess. The asset flips here are legendary. I swear I recognized a background from some old Skyrim mod I tried to fix back in 2017, the one with the broken navmesh. The alien girls have that default Daz3D look, you know the one, like they’re all slightly surprised and made of the same plastic polymer. But then you get to the group sex scene on the Zargon-5 observation deck and suddenly one of the tentacle things clips straight through a Twi’lek knockoff’s skull and I just lost it. Not in the intended way. More like when you see a Bethesda glitch and it loops back around to being art. The whole game feels like someone learned Blender last Tuesday and just said “fuck it, we ball.”

The core loop, if you can call it that, is basically clicking through dialogue trees that read like they were translated by a particularly horny error code. You pick a planet, you pick an alien, and then things escalate. There’s this one character, a four armed navigator with a permanent scowl, and her entire sex appeal is based on how aggressively she can unhinge her jaw. I respect that. The hentai influence is strong, all the fluids are just recolored sphere objects that don’t quite stick to the models, floating slightly off the skin like a weird ectoplasm. I wish the sound design wasn’t just one wet slap looped into infinity. It sounds like someone dropping a raw chicken breast on a tile floor over and over. You can’t unhear it.

I spent a weird amount of time trying to figure out if the green ambassador character was supposed to be a plant or a mineral. Her dialogue during the zero-g lesbian scene kept referencing photosynthesis but she was clearly grinding against what looked like a chunk of obsidian with a wig. I think that’s the point though. There’s no lore, just vibes. The adventure tag is a lie, you don’t explore, you just teleport between bedrooms with different starfields out the window. I forgot what I was complaining about. The dating sim mechanics are nonexistent, you just sort of appear and they’re already down. Which is efficient, honestly. If you want a polished experience, this ain’t it. This is like finding a weird VHS tape in a wall, corrupted and sticky, and you watch the whole thing anyway.